Cow Smoke

Brass Ep. 12

She left the supermarket and darted across the street toward the hardware store. As she passed the betting shop a slip of paper blew out of the door. She put a claw into it, pinning it to the ground.

The writing was almost illegible. The text suggested someone had a bet for £100,000 on getting their neighbours’ cows hooked on weed.

The steaks had never been higher.

Original photo by Phil Goodwin on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

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Auto Biog

Brass Ep. 10

Copper climbed over the last rack into the books aisle.

She recalled the time she tried writing a book. A humorous autobiography. It was a shame there was nobody left to read it.

Her writing started out well. She hit her word counts and noted all the major beats of her life. Until the day she spilt glue all over the book and got it attached to her elbow.

Well, that was her story, and she was sticking to it.

Original photo by Ricky Kharawala on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

I’ve been trying a new thing today. Embedding a longer image with the story as a hidden image for Pinterest and Tumblr shares. But, with Gutenberg (oh god that bloody thing again), I can’t get the “display: none” HTML option to work. Does anyone know how we hide embedded images in WordPress posts-post 5.0 update?

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Chemist Puns

Brass Ep. 10

She arrived in the pharmaceutical aisle. The men’s hair pomades often had petroleum jelly in. They smell nicer than Vaseline, as well. She pulled a couple off tins off the shelf and stuffed them into her bag.

Below the pomades were the ‘men’s wellbeing’ products. Iron, vitamins, zinc and more. A dozen chemist jokes leapt into her conscience. A smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. She tried to think of a chemistry pun she’d never heard before. She had heard barium jokes, H20 puns and inert gags.

With a sigh and a smile she figured, all the best chemist jokes Argon.

Original photo by Alexander Popov on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

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i Dot

Brass Ep. 9

As she left the technology section, she knocked a ‘How to write letters in the Queens English’ DVD set off the shelf.

Copper pondered how you’d write a letter with a posh accent. She didn’t mind people learning correct spelling and grammar, but she had issues with language in general. She’d always dot her I’s, but crossing her t’s?

That’s where she drew the line.

Original photo by rawpixel on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

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Lounge Lizard

Brass Ep. 8

Copper noticed a novelty chameleon toy on the shelf. She picked it up and removed its packaging.

“Hello,” she said, turning it over in her hands. It had LED lights down its flanks, a colour change button on its belly and a USB power cord curled around itself for a tail. She pulled a power bank off the shelf and plugged the chameleon in. It sputtered to life, giving off a blue glow.

She pushed the colour change button, and nothing happened. Giving it a shake, Copper heard a rattle from within. She laid the lizard down on the shelf and gave it a little wave.

It’s a shame the creature was stuck on blue. Blue’s not a colour Copper liked. She figured it’s not the lizard’s fault. A reptile dysfunction can happen to anyone.

Photo by Noah Silliman on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

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Squeak Squeak

Brass Ep. 5

The technology aisle was pretty small. There was a couple of mobile phones, radios and PC components. She plucked a mouse from the shelf and removed its packaging. Copper wiggled the mouse on the floor making squeaky noises.

She cut the USB cord to a tail length. Then pulled a red pen out of her bag and drew a pair of eyes onto it. “Squeak, squeak,” she said to herself.

She wondered if she could draw facial hair on it but decided it could do without a mouse-stache.

Original photo by Daniil Avilov on Unsplash Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

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Shopped Centre

The pharmacy aisle had collapsed in on itself. Copper sighed. It may have been easier to go to the shopping centre. There were four pharmacies there. It’s also a little closer to home.

In this lifeless world, shopping centres depressed her. The soulless corporate decor and escalators never worked. They should be teeming with people. Instead, they are lifeless museums to consumerism.

She often found, once you have seen one shopping centre, you have seen a mall.

Original photo by Daniil Avilov on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

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Veg Aisle

Brass Ep. 5

The vegetable aisle was empty. The worst reminder of the lack of life. Everything had rotted back at the start, devoured by insects. Empty trays remained with seeds and pips left at the bottom.

Copper had tried to grow some vegetables. The only success she had ever had was beetroot. One had grown before the drought had come. She wanted to see how big she could get it.

It was a lazy plant. The beet grew to barely a mouthful. Then the taproots growth stopped.

She recalled stepping out of her front door one day and finding it uprooted, laying on her steps with a knife sticking out of it.

Dead beet.

Original photo by Natalia Fogarty on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Copper is available as an art print on the Little Fears Etsy store, along with many other Fears characters: etsy.me/2Rdy0fM

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Fly Market

Copper pushed her way past a collapsed shelf. Entering the meat aisle, a renewed sense of dread washed over her.

All of the meat had rotted away long ago. Picked clean bones remained. She could remember swarms of flies filling the fridges. A dull, black carrion hum. The thought of flies bartering with each other over meat, where to eat and where to lay eggs. Hideous tiny pests, a gross thought.

But then flies who bartered with fruit and vegetables? Grocer.

Original photo by NeONBRAND on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Copper is available as an art print on the Little Fears Etsy store, along with many other Fears characters: etsy.me/2Rdy0fM

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Ghost Hunt

Brass Ep. 3

She’d cleaned the hardware shop out of sealant years ago, but petroleum jelly from the supermarket would work in some cases.

As Copper arrived, she noted that the front doors had been opened since she was last here. Could be a sign of life or an effect of last nights storm.

The left side of the building had collapsed a few months back. Noises would occasionally rattle out from the rubble, packets of food rustling, or possibly ghosts. Imagination could be a saviour or curse in times like these.

Copper would often fun to imagine she was a ghost hunter. She’d have to stay fit as a ghost hunter. Just a little exorcise.

Original photo by Clark Young on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Copper is available as an art print on the Little Fears Etsy store, along with many other Fears characters: etsy.me/2Rdy0fM

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