Tag: humor

“I’m done trying to bring back Spectre,” said Sprite. “Something of him is living on, and I guess that’s the best we can hope for when a loved one passes.”

“I’m done torturing Meria,” replied Lucy. “I have a wife to get back too.”

“I’m done telling Jelly to turn down her music,” said Parrotfish.

“To be fair,” said Sprite, “that is sound advice.”

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As the group watched Spectre walk away. “You’re not the only one stuck in life,” Lucy said.

“I know,” sighed Sprite. “I just wanted him back.”

Lucy squeezed Sprite. “I need to head home and see my wife. I left after an argument some weeks back. She was ranting at me that I never did the housework right. It took me ages to mop the carpet.”

Sprite chuckled. “Thank you, Lucy.”

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Sprite let out a fart. “Sorry, bruv, had a curry last night.”

“What?” asked Spectre.

“I had a hot curry last night,” said Sprite. “Fuen said ‘ringsting,’ I said ‘why? What will he know about it?'”

Spectre stood up, dusted herself off and backed away into the dunes. “I don’t know you, I’m not your bruv and you’re not funny.”

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“I think,” cried Spectre, “I know what I am. I’m just a humans dream or idea, right?”

“That’s right,” said Lucy. “You get to live here for a while until the human that dreamt you up forgets about you.”

“Don’t worry about the human getting insomnia,” said Jelly, “it won’t cause you to vanish.”

“Insomnia is awful, bruv,” said Sprite. “But on the plus side, only three more sleeps until Christmas.”

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“Where am I?” asked Spectre.

“You’re on a beach,” replied Jelly. “Found in the lands between the world of the living and the dead.”

“Here, take a seat on this rock,” said Lucy.

“That’s a great rock,” said Sprite. “It measures 1760 yards in length. I’d say it’s a milestone.”

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“It looks like one’s surviving,” remarked Cuttle.

Sprite helped her to her feet. “You’re a…”

Lucy slid her arm around Spectre and moved her away from the sea. “A Spectre by the look of it.”

“OK, I get it,” sighed Sprite. “No two humans recall a memory or idea exactly the same way.”

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“I don’t understand,” said Sprite, stepping out of the dunes. “I showed over a hundred humans pictures of Spectre. Are none of them remembering him for more than a few minutes?”

“You’re an idiot,” sighed Lucy, “with unrealistic expectations of humans.”

“You can’t expect much from a species,” chimed in Jelly, ” that make eight Fast and Furious films and not once show them stopping for petrol.”

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Another Spectre stepped out of the ocean, screamed, then sunk into the sand.

“This is Sprites doing,” sighed Lucy. “I just know it is.”

“He’s obsessed with getting Spectre back, aye?” asked Jelly.

“Yeah,” grumbled Lucy. “He should have left it alone and gone back to his wife. She’s just come home from working in an internet cafe in Australia.”

“I see,” remarked Cuttle. “She comes from a LAN down under…”

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“I’ve just broken up with Desmond,” sighed Jelly.

“The gym trainer?” asked Lucy. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know,” sighed Jelly. “We just weren’t working out.”

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Spectres began stepping out of the ocean. They’d cry out for help before sinking into the sand.

“Well, that’s not good,” said Jelly.

“No, it’s not,” sighed Cuttle. “But do you know what is good? The new machine they have at the gym.”

“I’ve heard it does everything,” interrupted Lucy.

“Oh, it does,” said Cuttle. “Snickers, Mars, Dairy Milks, the lot!”

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