“So I got this waterbed,” said Pterodactyl.
“Nice,” said Balloonist.
“We got it to spice up our love life,” sighed Pterodactyl.
“Ah,” said Balloonist. “Didn’t it work?”
“No,” lamented Pterodactyl. “We drifted further apart.”
–
Water
Category: January
Pets
“He’s angry again,” sighed Yuffie, awaiting the destruction.
“If his pets were better behaved it would help,” moaned Spectre.
“How so?” asked Fuen.
“Well his hamster for example,” said Spectre. “His hamster spent 3 months asking for a home gym, and eventually Spider spent £7,000 on equipment.”
“Cripes!” exclaimed Fuen. “What happened then?”
“Eh,” sighed Spectre. “It didn’t work out.”
Pool
“So I told Red,” declared Yuffie, “he has to swim in the sea now.”
“Why’s that?” asked Fuen, arriving in time to miss the conversation.
“Because the life guard at the pool caught Red peeing in the deep end,” said Yuffie.
“Oh dear,” sighed Fuen.
“Lifeguard blew his whistle so loud,” continued Yuffie, “Red almost fell in.”
Ransack
“Why is he so angry?” asked Yuffie.
“His missus threw him out,” replied Fuen.
“Again?” sighed Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Fuen. “He bought her a playboy girl outfit.”
“Ah,” said Yuffie. “Not a happy bunny.”
North
“I think he went there looking for star signs,” said Yuffie.
“Funny that,” said Hydra, “I was in a pet shop the other day looking at goldfish.”
“Oh aye?” replied Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Hydra. “This guy comes up to me and asks if I want an aquarium.”
“Mmhmm” mumbled Yuffie.
“I tells him,” continued Hydra, “I don’t really care what star sign it is.”
Voodoo
“Don’t believe in it, do you?” asked Blue.
“Not sure,” said White.
“Magic doesn’t exist,” said Black.
“Well my missus made a voodoo doll of me,” said White.
“Seriously?” replied Black.
“Yeah,” pondered White. “I think she’s pulling my fin.”
Snail
“Met a snail today,” said Hydra.
“How did you get on?” asked Yuffie.
“Not bad,” said Hydra. “We spoke on the same level, and he was bigger than I imagined.”
“Cool,” said Yuffie. “I saw a microbiologist today.”
“Nice,” said Hydra.
“Eh,” said Yuffie. “Wasn’t as small as I’d imagined.”
Ten
“Well, Hydra got a dog,” sighed Yuffie.
“Oh, that’s nice for him,” said Fuen.
“He called it Ten Miles,” grumbled Yuffie.
“Ten Miles?” exclaimed Fuen.
“Yeah,” sighed Yuffie. “So he can say he’s walked Ten Miles every day.”
CCTV
“What’s up, Bug?” said Fuen.
“The missus just kicked me out,” sighed Bug.
“But why?” asked Fuen.
“’Cause I put CCTV up all over the house,” sighed Bug.
“Don’t you think…” started Fuen.
“Yeah,” interrupted Bug. “I can see where she’s coming from.”
Magics
“It’s not that bad,” said Stag.
“It looks quite nice,” said Deer.
“I would’ve liked some squares though,” said Stag.
“I tried drawing squares quickly once,” sighed Deer. “They all came out like octagons.”
“Ah,” replied Stag, “that’s what happens when you cut corners.”
Little Fears 