Category: January

“OK,” said Cloud, “but I’m still not sure why the humans feel the need to dump information into me.”

“I don’t think its personal,” replied Yuffie.

“The problem is,” said Fuen, “humans are addicted to social media and the internet in general.”

“Yeah, it’s all they think about,” agreed Yuffie.

“Had a human once dump a camera into me,” said Hydra.

“Oh my!” squeaked Yuffie.

“S’alright,” said Hydra. “When it came out the snaps it took on the way through went down a storm on Instagram.”

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“So, there’s this banging on my door right,” said Blue.

“Right,” replied Fisherman.

“And it’s these two coppers, right,” said Blue.

“Right,” said Fisherman.

“They tell me there’s been a complaint about my dog chasing a man on a bicycle,” said Blue.

“Mmmhmm,” murmured Fisherman.

“So I tells em straight,” gesticulated Blue, “my dog doesn’t own a bicycle.”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“A chicken brothel?” asked Yuffie.

“Oh yes,” said Fuen, “it’s the next big thing in bird life.”

“So chickens come here and hire, what exactly?” asked Yuffie.

“Anything they want” replied Fuen, opening a door.

Before them was a small room with a messy bed in the middle. In the bed lay a very frustrated looking egg, and beside it, a very satisfied looking chicken, puffing on a cigarette.

“Well,” says Smoke, “I guess this answers one question…”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“Haven’t seen you in ages,” said Kraken.

“Not very good sea legs,” replied Spectre.

“No oars or sail,” pondered Kraken. “Are you adrift?”

“Afraid so,” said Spectre. “Came looking for you, lost my oars, and now I’m being pulled away from the shore by a strong current.”

“Oh dear,” said Kraken. “Hey, if you have a fish pun for me I’ll push you back to shore.”

“Oh for goodness sake, Kraken!” exclaimed Spectre. “This is not the time or the plaice…”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“Still after fish puns?” asked Cloud.

“Yeah,” replied Kraken, “got any new ones?”

“Afraid not,” said Cloud.

“I am thinking of offering a reward for the best fish pun” said Kraken.

“Maybe 300 shells for the winning pun?” suggested Cloud.

“Not a bad idea for a prize,” said Kraken, “are you interested?”

Cloud pondered for a moment. “Let me mullet over…”

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“Well,” said Spectre, “it wasn’t that bad.”

“But she did damage, right?” asked Fuen.

“Well yes,” said Spectre, “but she only ate the clock tower.”

“Aye?” questioned Fuen.

“Oooh,” interrupted Yuffie, “that would be because White is on a clock diet at the moment.”

“A clock diet?” sighed Fuen.

“Yeah,” said Yuffie, “it’s quite time consuming.”

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“He sounds a bit melancholy,” said Red.

“Well he is a little,” replied Serpent.

“Any reason?” asked Red.

“It all started that day he attacked a laundrette,” said Serpent. “He ate 3 barrels of colouring for clothes in the attack.”

“Oh dear,” said Red.

“Mmmhmm” mused Serpent. “From that day on it was like he’d dyed a little inside.”

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“They creep me out,” shuddered Fuen.

“Tell me about it,” said Yuffie.

“Do you know what makes them worse?” asked Fuen. “They used to be bankers.”

“Wait” paused Yuffie, “the spiders used to be bankers?”

“Oh yes,” replied Fuen.

“Why did they leave the banking profession and become spiders?” asked Yuffie.

“Not sure,” said Fuen, “I think they lost interest.”

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“Calm down, Spider!” yelled Fuen.

“No!” shouted Spider. “Wargglegarble!”

“Please don’t trash another city,” pleaded Fuen.

“That mayor shoved a packet of cuppa soup in my mouth!” screeched Spider.

“That’s what set you off?” asked Fuen. “All this over a cuppa soup?”

“Heck yeah!” snorted Spider, while ripping the top of a building off. “Nobody treats me like a mug!”

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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“It’s not on,” said Lizard.

“I know,” replied Yuffie.

“I should not be terrorised by Shadow grabbing my feet everywhere I go,” stamped Lizard.

“I understand,” said Yuffie, “and I will speak to him.”

“It hasn’t been the same since we got addicted to Twitter,” stropped Lizard.

“Twitter addiction?” asked Yuffie, “I’m afraid I don’t follow you.”

Lizard groaned.

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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