Deer

“Deer, your puns are awful!” cried Sprite.

“Hey,” said Deer, “there is a fine British art to telling a good groaner.”

At that moment, the past and the future approached from opposite directions. Their paths crossed right where Deer and Sprite were standing.

The future bumped into the past, they turned to face each other, growled and postured in a grumpy fashion, then walked away up different paths.

“Wow,” said Deer, “that was tense.”

Sprite whined.

~

Tales and doodle by Peter Edwards using Posca Pens.

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Oil

“I just don’t get it,” sighed Cloud.

“What’s that?” asked Spectre.

“Well sunflower oil comes from sunflowers, right?” said Cloud.

“Yeah,” agreed Spectre.

“And olive oil comes from olives, yes?” affirmed Cloud.

“Mmmhmm…” mumbled Spectre.

“Then where the heck do they get baby oil from?” asked Cloud.

“Oh god,” muttered Spectre.

“Humans are monsters,” observed Cloud, floating away on a breeze.

~

Tales and doodle by Peter Edwards using Posca Pens.

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Run

“I can’t see him,” said Agent.

“You know,” said Spectre, “we might have a better chance of catching him if you put some running shoes on.”

“Oh, I don’t wear shoes,” replied Agent.

“Why not?” asked Spectre.

“Not sure,” replied Agent. “I stopped wearing shoes years ago, because I had big feet and it just became a bit of a hobbit.”

Red groaned out loud.

The chase continued.

~

Tales and doodle by Peter Edwards using Posca Pens.

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Canabalt

“God, you’re heavy,” groaned Sprite.

“Quit ya whinin’ and pull me up!” yelled Spectre.

“You know,” hollered Sprite, “a wise man said, man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.”

“You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving,” yelled Spectre.

“Oh really?” called back Sprite.

“Yeah,” replied Spectre, “you just need a parachute to go skydiving more than once.”

~

Tales and doodle by Peter Edwards using Posca Pens.

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Hydra

“Am I dead?” asked Hydra.

“Looks that way,” replied Fuen.

“I wonder if I’ll meet my cousin here,” pondered Hydra.

“Recently deceased?” asked Fuen.

“Yeah,” sighed Hydra. “He was an Italian master chef.”

“What happened to him?” asked Fuen.

“He pasta away,” smirked Hydra.

Fuen paused to look at Hydra.

“Cannoli do so much,” said Hydra.

Fuen grimaced.

“Still,” said Hydra, “his legacy will live on as a pizza history.”

~

Tales and doodle by Peter Edwards using Posca Pens.

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Pygmy

“Don’t want to wake up the natives,” said Sprite.

“Natives?” asked White, looking around the tall grass.

“Yeah” said Sprite. “A tribe of pygmy humans live in this tall grass.”

“Really?” asked White. “I don’t see anyone.”

“That’s because they’re really short pygmies,” said Sprite.

“Right,” said White. “What’s the tribe called?”

“The Fukarewe tribe,” replied Sprite.

“Odd,” mumbled White. “Any idea where the name comes from?”

“Dunno,” said Sprite. “The lil’ sods seem to spend all their time jumping up and down shouting, ‘we’re the Fukarewe,’ though.”

White grimaced.

~

Tales and doodle by Peter Edwards using Posca Pens.

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Football

“What’s up Fish?” asked Cloud. “Lookin’, pretty blue for a black fish.”

“The missus dumped me,” sighed Fish.

“Oh dear!” exclaimed Cloud, “any idea why?”

“She says all I talk about is football,” grumbled Fish.

“That’s a shame,” said Cloud.

“Yeah,” mumbled Fish. “I’m glad I was only with her for five seasons.”

~

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Height

“You are so short,” laughed Spectre.

“I know,” sighed Sprite.

“Were you that short when you were alive?” asked Spectre.

“Yes, I was as it goes,” grumbled Sprite. “I remember I once went to a hospital asking if anything could be done about my shortness.”

“Oh?” inquired Spectre.

“Yeah,” sighed Sprite. “They said I would have to be a little patient.”

Spectre smirked.

~

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Written

“He sounds pretty incredible,” said Black.

“A remarkable physicist,” said Blue.

“Despite winning a Nobel prize he was quite known for writing romance novels too,” said Black.

“Really?” gasped Blue.

“Oh yes,” replied Black. “The Complete Works of Friction.”

~

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