Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“This looks like the place,” said Sally. “There’s a herb shop over the road. You don’t think?…”
“Unfortunately, I do. Robyn’s could be psyched up on catnip,” said Lily, pulling into the car park.
“This is going to be a tough arrest,” replied Sally.
“Afraid so,” replied Lily. “We’re going to have to expect maximum cattitude.”
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“You’re looking for Robyn aren’t you?” asked Ivana.
“Yes,” replied Lily. “She’s been on the rob again.”
“My ex used to work at a wine company a few years back,” started Ivana. “When they were selling up, I’m sure I saw Robyn nosing around the warehouse. Maybe she bought the property from them. It’s in a quiet area.”
“Thank you,” said Lily. “I remember your ex. She had an excellent nose for wine.”
“The best,” said Ivana. “Shaped just like a corkscrew.”
Photo by Kym Ellis on Unsplash
The Little Fears have all new, all original, hand-drawn art pieces on Etsy. With our trusty Faber-Castels, we shall take over the world! Or sell a few art pieces… One of the two… www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LittleFears
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Sally meandered through the apartment. She took note of a box of calendars and two crates of clocks. There was a vintage globe in the corner of the room. She ambled over to it and gave it a slow spin.
“That was my exes globe,” sighed Ivana. “She passed away the day she finished painting the maps on it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” said Sally.
“It’s OK,” replied Ivana. “It just means the world to me.”
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The Little Fears have a helped the illustrator make a couple of Skillshare courses. A subscription to Skillshare costs just 0.99$ for the first three months which you can cancel any time. There’s also a ton of free courses, not even needing the 0.99$ to watch. Skillshare has thousands of courses by writers, artists and oddballs. Click the link to sign up. https://skl.sh/2ltTlya
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“Oh dear,” said Lily.
“It’s alright,” replied Ivana, “I always find work.”
“Oh, so you found work after that clock factory?” asked Lily.
“Yes, right next door in the advent calendar factory,” sighed Ivana.
“You don’t sound happy about that,” said Lily.
“Well, I got sacked last week,” moaned Ivana. “My days were numbered.”
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The Little Fears can be found on Tees available on Threadless, just over here: https://littlefears.threadless.com/
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“Hello Ivana,” said Lily.
“DCI Lily,” grumbled Ivana. “I ain’t done nothing copper, been clean for three years.”
“I’m not here to bust you,” replied Lily. “I just want to talk.”
“Well you better come in then,” said Ivana, shooing Lily and Sally into the flat.
“How are you doing Ivana?” asked Lily. “Are you still working at the clock factory?”
“No, I got fired,” sulked Ivana. “After I put all those extra hours in…”
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The Little Fears Capricorn is available on Amazon. 88 tales of horror, clicks and long drops. You can buy the ebook and paperback editions here: https://amzn.to/2NAk1dP
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“So, what now?” asked Sally.
“Well, I have another lead,” replied Lily. “Another old friend.”
“Oh, good,” said Sally.
“I arrested her years ago for stealing crates of men sized nappies,” sighed Lily.
“Oh no,” gasped Sally. “I know who you mean. She did time didn’t she?”
“Yes,” replied Lily. “Ivana Tinkle.”
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The Little Fears January is available on Amazon. Filled with 90 tales of humour, love, frogs and groans. You can buy both ebook and paperback editions here: https://amzn.to/2NAk1dP
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Sally sat up in the hospital bed. “Did she get away?”
“I’m afraid so,” replied Lily.
“I’m sorry ma’am,” sighed Sally.
“It’s fine Inspector, I’m glad you’re still alive,” replied Lily. “She gave you a dose of nearly three hundred kitty sleeping tablets.”
“Three hundred!” gasped Sally. “How did she fit them all in the coffee cup?”
“I have no idea,” chuckled Lily. “How’s your head?”
“Oh, it’s OK,” replied Sally. “I’m feline fine.”
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The Little Fears have all new, all original, hand-drawn art pieces on Etsy. With our trusty Faber-Castels, we shall take over the world! Or sell a few art pieces… One of the two… www.etsy.com/uk/shop/LittleFears
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Just then, Lily burst through the kitchen door. “Stay right there!”
“I’ll do no such thing,” declared Robyn, sprinting towards the exit.
Sally groaned from the floor.
“Oh no,” gasped Lily, reaching down to help her partner.
“Lily,” wheezed Sally, “she’s drugged me with her cats sleeping pills.”
“Don’t worry partner,” replied Lily. “I’ll call the purramedics.”
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The Little Fears have a helped the illustrator make a couple of Skillshare courses. A subscription to Skillshare costs just 0.99$ for the first three months which you can cancel any time. There’s also a ton of free courses, not even needing the 0.99$ to watch. Skillshare has thousands of courses by writers, artists and oddballs. Click the link to sign up. https://skl.sh/2ltTlya
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Sally took a few sips of her coffee. “Very nice, perfect drinking temperature.”
“I think so,” said Robyn. “Do you like felines?”
“Oh I love kittens,” replied Sally, rubbing her eyes.
“Good,” said Robyn. “I hope you see them in your dreams.”
“What…” gasped Sally, toppling over. “What have you…”
“Sleeping pills in the coffee,” replied Robyn. “I know who you are. I’ve seen you in a picture with DCI Lily. You’re not taking my moggy art away from me!”
“Oh no…” cried Sally drifting in and out of sleep. “I need a cat nap…”
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The Little Fears can be found on Tees available on Threadless, just over here: https://littlefears.threadless.com/
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“You’re kind of funny,” observed Robyn. “Can I invite you in for a drink?”
“Sure,” replied Sally. As she walked through the door, she was a little unnerved at how many cats roamed the flat. “You like cats, huh?” she asked.
“I love them,” replied Robyn, switching the coffee machine on. “Cats are elegant, friendly and sexy.”
“Aren’t they just,” replied Sally. “What sort of coffee is that?”
“My own brew,” replied Robyn. “Catpurrchino.”
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The Little Fears Capricorn is available on Amazon. 88 tales of horror, clicks and long drops. You can buy the ebook and paperback editions here: https://amzn.to/2NAk1dP
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Little Fears 