Buddha

“Whisp,” sighed Spectre, “why are you hiding behind a Buddha?”

“Cause a I went to a hootenanny last night,” replied Whisp.

“I see,” said Spectre, “what’s that? Like a knees up for owls?”

“That’s what I thought it was,” moaned Whisp, “turns it’s a pensioners strip club…”

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Phobia

“I couldn’t follow Serpent,” sighed Red.

“Why not?” asked Fuen.

“Developed a phobia of open spaces,” moaned Red.

“I once had a phobia of hurdles,” said Fuen.

“Really?” asked Red.

“Oh yes,” said Fuen. “It’s alright now though. I got over it.”

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Oceans

“Son of a badger left me hanging there,” exclaimed Spectre.

“Good grief,” replied Sprite. “What happened?”

“Well I fell,” sighed Spectre. “The current took me 12 mile down stream into an estuary. I grabbed a piece of floating wood, holding on for dear life, and eventually found myself adrift in an ocean of fizzy orange water.”

“Huh,” replied Sprite. “Are you sure it wasn’t a Fanta-sea?”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Crumbs

“No,” said Snake, “I mean restaurants for the Little Fears.”

“Ah,” said Fuen, “I have experience there.”

“Oh really?” asked Snake.

“Yep,” replied Fuen. “I had a bread bar that served crumbled bread to ghost ducks.”

“That’s the one that burnt down right?” asked Snake.

“Yeah,” said Fuen. “My business was toast.”

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Hospital

“Man I hate these hospital visits,” sighed Spectre.

“Why is Red here anyway?” asked Sprite.

“He ate a jar of copper coins yesterday,” sighed Spectre.

“Ah,” said Sprite. “How is he today?”

“No change yet,” smirked Spectre.

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Owls

“Bloody Owl,” said Globe.

“What’s up?” asked Magpie.

“That chuffing Owl, landed on me, crapped on me, pecked me, regurgitated bones on me then threatened to feed me to his chicks, for no darned reason.”

“Huh,” said Magpie. “Maybe he has irritable owl syndrome?”

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Dairy

“You know you have a problem right?” asked Flower.

“I know,” sighed Stem, “I can’t help it!”

Stem downed her third whisky. “Every single time I drive past that field of cows I just cannot help myself. I have to yell abuse at them.”

“Have you ever considered the notion,” began Flower, “that you might be dairy intolerant?”

~

Original photo credit Benjamin Bousquet, available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Tulip

“Nah,” said Tulip, “I’m British.”

“Oh nice,” said Herb. “So you like James Bond films?”

“Oh yeah,” said Tulip. “You know I once saw Max Zorin from a View to a Kill, walking down Oxford Street at Christmas to turn on the London Christmas lights!”

“Nice,” said Herb.

“Yeah,” sighed Tulip. “Was a Walken in a winter wonderland.”

~

Original photo credit Ahmed Saffu, available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Food

“I hate Crimbo!” said Plate.

“Why?” asked Serving.

“Season for all the facetious twats telling you to be happy!” replied Plate.

“Plate you don’t know what that word means,” replied Serving.

“Yeah I do!” said Plate, “twats mean fannies.”

~

Original photo credit Fabrizio Magoni, available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Crime

“Where’d ya’ get that money and fancy webbing from?” asked Spider.

“Bit of work on the side,” replied Spider, winking and touching her nose.

“What sorta’ work?” asked Spider.

“Selling diaries for the year 2098 to the Mafia,” replied Spider.

“Oh,” said Spider. “That’s very organized crime.”

~

Original photo credit Dmitri Popov, available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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