Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Sounds like you have known her a long a time,” said Sally.
“Yes,” sighed Lily. “Unfortunately we go way back.”
“Did she start her criminal life with small crimes?” asked Sally.
“Well, her first crime was stealing one thousand cases of Red Bull,” replied Lily.
“My word,” said Sally. “How does she sleep at night?”
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“She could be going after her bone marrow donor,” pondered Lily.
“Oh, aye?” questioned Sally.
“She needed a transplant some years back from around here,” said Lily.
“Was it successful?” asked Sally.
“Oh yes,” said Lily. “They found an Argentinian man who was available.”
“I think I remember reading about this,” said Sally. “Diego Marrow Donor.”
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“Ma’am” cried Sally, “the sergeant says she has her trapped.”
“Tell her we’ll be there as quick as we can,” said Lily running for the car.
“The address looks like it’s the old dry cleaners in Willesden,” said Sally.
“There was evidence she had a stash of money there,” replied Lily.
“She certainly seems the type to be into money laundering,” growled Sally.
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Squidly was re-drawn for last weeks #Colour_Collective. Take a look at her slimy chin. Mmm, forbidden goo. The colour last week was Hookers Green. Deliciously slimy.
With special thanks
Weekly shout out to my $10 patron, Warren from IWrite. Without people like Warren, I wouldn’t be able to wake you all with my little fears and you’d probably cry a lot less in the morning than you already do. So please do check out Warrens blog.
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“Thanks, Polly Hedron, your help is appreciated,” said Lily hanging up.
“What did she say?” asked Sally.
“She says statistically people who kill twice, always try to kill a third time,” replied Lily.
“You believe statics?” asked Sally.
“Most of the time,” replied Lily. “The other 137% of the time I reckon people exaggerate.”
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“Sally, can I have your phone?” asked Lily.
“Sure,” said Sally handing it over.
Lily began frantically dialling. “Where’s your phone?” asked Sally.
“Oh, I put it under my pillow last night,” sighed Lily. “Woke up to find the phone missing and a pound coin in its place.”
“For the love of,” sighed Sally. “Ruddy Bluetooth fairy.”
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“Ma’am,” said Sally, “call on the radio. They have spotted her.”
“Do they have a location?” asked Lily.
“Yes ma’am,” replied Sally. “The back gardens of Camden Street. She’s been stealing women’s underwear off the washing lines.”
“Good grief,” said Lily. “There’s no end to her villainy.”
A crackle and voice over the radio. “Darn,” said Sally. “It sounds like she gave the constables the slip.”
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“Any idea where she could be heading next?” asked Sally.
“Back in the day she used to be a keen chess player,” said Lily.
“How does that help?” asked Sally.
“Well she liked playing chess in Regents Park with old men,” said Lily.
“Right,” said Sally. “It must be hard to round up thirty-two of them onto a board…”
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“She went straight to her old girlfriend’s house to try and win her back,” said Lily.
“Ah,” said Sally. “So did you catch her again?”
“Afraid not,” sighed Lily. “They had a row.”
“About what?” asked Sally.
“Her partner’s Japanese food obsession,” said Lily.
“Ah,” pondered Sally. “Sushi left her…”
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One of the old bugly Fears again. She got her eyebrows done for last weeks #Colour_Collective. The colour last week was Milk. I just like having a Fear waving at my readers. She looks very friendly, to me. Coooeeey.
With special thanks
Weekly shout out to my $10 patron, Warren from IWrite. Without people like Warren, I wouldn’t be able to wake you all with my little fears and you’d probably cry a lot less in the morning than you already do. So please do check out Warrens blog.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare| Threadless
Little Fears 