Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Where have you been?” asked Meria as Lucy slipped back into the pub.
“I popped across an island to see a well-reputed psychic,” replied Lucy.
“Oh, aye?” asked Meria. “Did she read your fortune?”
“No,” sighed Lucy. “I knocked on her door and she yelled, “who is it?” So I left.”
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“How did you die?” asked Jelly.
“I got too cold,” sighed Cuttle.
“Your obituary said you died of hyperthermia while trekking across the Antartic with a paint company for charity,” recalled Parrotfish.
“That’s right,” sighed Cuttle. “I needed a second coat.”
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“Someone stole my coral-mower last year,” grumbled Parrotfish.
“I remember that,” replied Jelly. “The police knocked on my door and asked where I was between 5 and 7.”
“Oh, aye?” asked Parrotfish. “Where were you between 5 and 7?”
“Well,” pondered Jelly, “at school I imagine.”
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“Has your home ever been broken into?” asked Jelly.
“A couple of times,” replied Parrotfish.
“I remember when my home was burgled,” sighed Jelly. “They took my limbo stick.”
“Urgh,” replied Parrotfish. “How low can thieves go?”
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“Ignore Cuttle,” said Jelly. “She has no love for anyone.”
“It’s not entirely her fault,” replied Parrotfish. “She hasn’t been the same since she found four intruders in her home.”
“Oh, dear,” said Jelly. “What happened?”
“They walked right through her,” sighed Parrotfish. “Then put their groceries on the table.”
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“Is that another Sprite?” asked Cuttle.
“I think so,” sighed Parrotfish. “It’s depressing. They pass on so fast. They barely have time to figure out who they are.”
“I don’t care,” replied Cuttle. “When I was young, my mum said I could be anyone I wanted.”
“Isn’t that called identity theft?” asked Parrotfish.
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She sat on the shelf in the basement. Watching in silence and always waiting. The human stood below her, with his pile of clean clothes. He picked up the stack and made his way upstairs. His toes found a dog toy and he wobbled. Gargoyle held her breath. He stumbled backwards, sending his clothes flying in every direction. The creature smiled as she watched it all unfold.
Oof, the poor fella. This mean critter came from the missus. Everybody loves her previous art here, so she gets tapped again for a drawing. You can say hello to her on Twatter at @DonnaMStrachan and you can nobble her art prints from Society6 and you can buy her a cuppa on Ko-fi.
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
“My human choked to death on a gobstopper, of all things,” said Madi.
“Everyone always said my ladies pride would be the death of her,” grumbled Sam.
“And was it?” asked Madi.
“Yep,” sighed Sam. “She was eaten by her favourite lion.”
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
“Isn’t it a funny feeling,” said Madi, “when you know you’re all that’s left of a humans hopes, dreams and fears.”
“I’m having trouble wrapping my head around it,” sighed Sam.
“I’m a hangover memory,” said Madi, “of fizzy sweets a lady loved making.”
“It must have been a strong memory,” remarked Sam.
“Well,” chuckled Madi, “not long before she died, she took a Refresher course.”
Shout out and thanks to Julia of Shattered Mind Space for buying me a cuppa on Ko-Fi yesterday.
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
“Why do you have so much bottled water?” asked Sam.
“My missus and I have a waterbed, and it’s pretty hard having sex on it,” sighed Yuri.
“Oh, I see,” said Sam. “So, you’re filling it with spring water?”
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
Little Fears 