Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“What about you Aqua?” asked Black Fish, “any visits to the doctor?”
“I once thought I was God,” whispered Aqua.
“When did that start?” croaked Black Fish.
“Oh, you know,” muttered Aqua, “when I created the sun, then the earth…”
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“I saw a doctor the other week because I thought I was a bridge,” said Whisp.
“Oh aye,” replied Yuffie.
“He said ‘good grief, man what’s come over you?'” said Whisp.
“Oh God,” said Yuffie.
“I said two cars, a truck and a coach,” grinned Whisp.
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“I think you should ask the doctor for a second opinion,” said Cloud.
“I did,” replied Sprite.
“What did he say?” asked Cloud.
“Come back tomorrow,” sighed Sprite.
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“My doctor was hopeless,” moaned Sprite.
“Why so?” asked Black Fish.
“I went to him because I had wind,” said Sprite.
“And?” asked Black Fish.
“He gave me a kite,” sighed Sprite.
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“I went to a psychiatrist once,” said Bush.
“Why’s that?” asked Shrub.
“Because I thought I was a dog,” said Bush.
“What happened?” asked Shrub.
“Well I got there, and she told me to sit on the couch so we could talk about it,” said Bush. “I said I couldn’t because I wasn’t allowed on the furniture…”
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“I think I’m developing a drinking problem,” said Snake.
“Oh aye?” asked Grass.
“Do you drink a lot?” asked Sky.
“No,” sighed Snake. “I spill most of it. That’s the problem!”
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“Just been to see the doctor,” sighed Cloud.
“Oh dear,” said Forest. “What’s your problem?”
“I’m suffering from severe deja vu,” replied Cloud.
“What did the doctor say?” asked Forest.
Cloud sighed. “‘Didn’t I see you yesterday?'”
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“Every time I do an Internet search for my symptoms, it says I have cancer,” moaned Spectre.
“What symptoms?” asked Sprite.
“Running nose,” sighed Spectre.
“Is that it?” asked Sprite.
“It’s been running for four days,” grumbled Spectre. “How do I stop my nose running?”
“Have you tried tripping it up?” asked Yuffie.
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“These pills are useless,” moaned Cloud.
“Aye?” asked Cloud.
“These pills you gave me for my body odour,” said Cloud.
“What about them?” asked Cloud.
“They keep slipping out from under my arms,” whined Cloud.
Cloud sighed.
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Red slurped and burped.
“Red,” sighed Yuffie, “why are you drinking out of that thing?”
“Because every time I drink out of the cup of tea you made me I get a pain in my eye,” moaned Red.
“I see,” said Yuffie. “Have you tried taking the spoon out first?”
~
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Little Fears 