Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Well there’s no point throwing a strop,” said Serpent.
“Grr,” grumbled Red, spitting out a tyre.
“What’s happened now?” asked Fuen.
“Red just lost his job at the helium balloon factory after an argument with his boss,” sighed Serpent.
“I won’t be spoken to in that tone of voice!” growled Red.
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“What ya got there?” Spectre asked Sprite.
“My latest Ebay conquest,” said Sprite. “A Buddhist lamp from a 16th-century monastery!”
“Nice,” said Spectre. “I hope it’s enlightening…”
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“Oh, shut up,” snapped Spider. “I’m fine!”
“Bugger off then,” replied Fuen.
“Spider, your addiction to drinking brake fluid is getting out of hand!” yelled Yuffie.
“Rubbish!” cried Spider, “I can stop anytime…”
~
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“It’s a UFO!” said Cloud, for the umpteenth time.
“I still don’t see it!” said Sprite. “It’s just a field of wheat!”
“Let me have a look,” said Fuen.
Sprite handed Fuen the photo. Fuen studied the image for a moment. It was a low-resolution photo, depicting a field of wheat.
“Well?” sulked Cloud.
“I can’t make out a UFO,” said Fuen. “It’s too grainy.”
~
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“Good grief Spectre, you stink,” exclaimed Peacock.
“I know,” said Spectre. “Just been sacked from another job.”
“Oh dear,” said Peacock. “What was it this time?”
“Garbage collector,” sighed Spectre. “I was a rubbish driver…”
~
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“That’s an odd-looking jacket,” said Bird.
“Yeah, Spectre got it for me,” replied Sprite.
“It looks like it’s made of flower stems,” said Bird.
“Yes,” said Sprite. “I didn’t like it at first, but then it grew on me…”
~
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Horse kicked the crumbling wall and gave a snort.
“What’s wrong?” asked Sprite.
“Just lost my new job after two hours as an acupuncturist,” moaned Horse.
“Oh dear,” replied Sprite. “What happened?”
“Eh…” sighed Horse. “I just didn’t get the point…”
~
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“Red has a job?” asked Cloud.
“He’s the local theatre’s chief locksmith,” replied Yuffie.
“I see,” said Cloud, not actually seeing. “Do they need a chief locksmith?”
“Oh yes,” replied Yuffie. “He’s a key employee!”
~
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“That’s a lot of magazines, Flower!” said Yuffie.
“New business venture,” said Flower.
“Oh?” inquired Yuffie.
“Gonna start a gardening magazine delivery service using ex-military flying drones,” said Flower.
“Ooh,” said Yuffie. “That’ll raise some issues…”
~
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“Good grief!” said Fuen, “did anybody survive?”
“Not a soul,” said Yuffie, as Cloud floated by.
“What’s ya talking about?” asked Cloud.
“A horror story. Sea monster attacking spirits with a refrigerator,” said Yuffie.
“Gosh,” said Cloud. “Sounds chilling…”
Little Fears 