Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Gimme a hand,” whined Sprite.
“Look,” said Spectre, “it’s all about physics and finances.”
“Oh, I don’t care,” said Sprite. “The receipts are stuffed inside the roll.”
At that moment, the reel of string rolled off the shelf, onto a spring, then launched through a skylight.
Sprite sighed.
“Looks like string sales are skyrocketing,” smirked Spectre.
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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Today’s tale is not a tale, but a letter Cloud asked me to publish.
Dear Madam
On behalf of Channel Seven, may I thank you for your application submitted on behalf of your boss for our new reality show, and also the charming photograph you enclosed of him. Whilst agreeing that the Illustrator could make a worthy contribution to the program if selected, I would point out that the correct title of the series is actually “Fact Hunt”.
Kind regards,
Channel Seven
Wait… What?
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“A weather Sprite?” asked Fuen.
“Yeah,” replied Spectre. “See, Sprite stands there all day, and at a glance you can always tell what the weather’s like!”
“Oh?” asked Fuen, awaiting the explanation.
“Look,” said Spectre, “if Sprite is out there in a bikini, it means it’s hot.”
“Right,” said Fuen.
“If Sprite looks wet, it means it’s raining,” said Spectre.
“Ah,” said Fuen. “I know this gag. If Sprite is gone, that means it’s windy right?”
“No,” said Spectre, “it means the pub’s open.”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“So, he was juggling you?” asked Cloud.
“Yeah,” said Spectre. “Your brother juggled me and four other Little Fears.”
“Oh dear,” said Cloud. “You know, in our old life, he was going to join a circus and be a world-famous juggler.”
“Oh aye?” asked Spectre. “Never did it though, right?”
“Afraid not,” said Cloud. “He didn’t have the balls.”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“Was that a TV?” asked Sprite.
“Yeah,” sighed Spectre.
“It’s massive,” said Sprite, looking down at the wreckage.
“Was massive,” sighed Spectre.
“Why were you even trying to get a TV that big upstairs?” asked Sprite.
“Got it cheap online,” said Spectre. “700 channels, no subscriptions, 128 inch, full 4k definition, – for £1. Had a faulty volume button.”
“Ah,” said Sprite. “Couldn’t turn it down?”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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Spectre gave a deep sigh.
“What’s wrong?” asked Fuen.
“Been diagnosed with multiple personality disorder,” said Spectre. “So I phoned my boss to tell him I’d need some time off.”
“And?” inquired Fuen.
Spectre sighed again. “I said you’re self-employed, you silly sod.”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“Fern took going to jail really badly,” sighed Fuen.
“Oh dear!” said Yuffie, “what happened?”
“Well,” pushed in Sprite, “he refused food and drink, swore, growled and spat at anyone that came near him, then wiped sap on the walls!”
“Oh no!” said Yuffie, holding her head.
“Yeah,” said Fuen sighing. “We are never going to play Monopoly with him again!”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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Flower put down the phone with a sigh.
“What’s up?” asked Fuen.
“Lilypad called me three hours ago from work, saying he had forgotten his glasses,” said Flower. “So I told him to use his contacts.”
“Right,” said Fuen.
“He just called me back,” sighed Flower. “Said he’d called everyone on his phone, and they didn’t know where his glasses were either.”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“Oh, good lord,” sighed Yuffie.
“What’s up?” asked Spectre.
“There has been a thief stealing the Little Fears women’s clothing,” sighed Fuen.
“In size order,” added Yuffie. “Must be OCD.”
“Oh dear,” said Spectre. “Have the police caught them yet?”
“No,” said Yuffie, “they’re still at large.”
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“Haaarruuumph” said Yuffie sulking and kicking a cup around the hill.
“What’s up?” asked Spectre.
“The illustrator just threw me out of the class he was teaching,” replied Yuffie.
“Oh dear, Yuffie,” sighed Spectre, “what was the class about?”
“The illustrator was teaching us how to write stories and bad jokes in 512 characters or less to fit in as flash fiction,” stated Yuffie. ”He went mad when I said a really rude word startin’ with C.”
“Well that wasn’t clever was it?” said Spectre.
“No,” replied Yuffie, “it was cu
~
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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Little Fears 