Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“It’s quite alright,” said Dami.
“So what actually happened?” asked Fuen.
“Well,” started Dami, “a farmer drove past on a tractor, screaming that he’d just fulfilled a prophecy and that the end of the world was nigh.”
“Blimey!” said Fuen. “Strong stuff.”
“Do you know who it was?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah, he’s a local,” sighed Dami. “Farmer Geddon.”
Fuen grimaced.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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Red had been staring at the stone for almost an hour before Serpent finally approached him.
“Red,” she said, “what are you looking at?”
“That rock is huge,” said Red.
Serpent looked at the stone. “Boulder” she said.
“THAT ROCK IS HUGE,” he emphasized.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“So, what happened?” asked the policeman.
“Well,” sighed Yuffie, “Spectre came to me about his latest break up.”
“Right,” said the policeman.
“I gave up with his crying and asked him what he wanted from me,” grumbled Yuffie.
“Go on,” said the policeman.
“Well, he said he wanted me to console him,” moaned Yuffie.
“And?” asked the policeman.
“So I smacked him with a Nintendo,” sighed Yuffie.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“Do you know,” said Sprite, “I was certain there used to be two antennae up here.”
“Oh, there were,” replied Spectre.
“Oh,” pondered Sprite. “What happened to them?”
“The pair of them ran off and got married,” sighed Spectre, hauling himself up.
“Two antennae got married?” mused Sprite.
“Yeah,” replied Spectre. “The service was crap, but the reception was excellent.”
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“No,” said Spectre, “I only imagined I was being attacked by snow spiders.”
“Oh dear,” said Fuen. “Any history of mental health issues?”
“Some,” sighed Spectre. “Doctor says I have 70’s Fever.”
Fuen gave a pre-emptive wince. “What does that entail?”
“Oh, you know,” said Spectre, “short obsessions with Abba, T Rex and The Who.”
“Doesn’t sound too bad,” replied Fuen.
“It’s not,” said Spectre. “It only flares up now and again.”
A pause was followed by Fuen retroactively wincing.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“What’s up?” asked Sprite.
“Oh, it’s my missus,” replied Spectre. “She keeps asking me to dress up as a character from Alice in Wonderland.”
“Are you mad at her?” asked Sprite.
“Oh, don’t you start,” grumbled Spectre.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“I’m telling you,” said Sprite, “those eyes again!”
“It sounds like you’ve been watching too many horror movies,” said Fuen.
“I never got that about horror movies,” pondered Yuffie.
“What’s that?” asked Fuen.
“So, the killer’s on the loose, and the teenager is in the house, and they start calling out ‘hello’ and ‘is anybody there?’” replied Yuffie.
Fuen and Sprite waited through a pause.
“I mean what do they expect?” asked Yuffie. “The killer to call back ‘yeah I’m in the kitchen, fancy a sammich?’”
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“Well, the news says it’s a terrorist,” said Serpent.
“Oh dear,” sighed Fuen. “Never had one of them around here before.”
“What did he do?” asked Sprite.
“Well first he blew down a straw cabin, then a wood cabin,” said Serpent.
“Good grief!” exclaimed Sprite. “Sounds like a lone wolf…”
Serpent winced.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“It wasn’t good,” sighed Serpent.
“I don’t doubt that,” sighed Fuen.
“What’s that?” asked Spectre.
“Red put Red Bull in his coffee this morning instead of water,” sighed Serpent.
“Oh dear!” squeaked Spectre, “is he OK?”
“Oh, he’s fine now,” said Serpent.
“Any major effects?” asked Spectre.
“He drove 12 miles to work,” sighed Serpent, “then realized he’d left the car at home…”
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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“They flashed red I’m sure,” said Sprite.
“They just vanished into the bush then?” asked Fuen.
“Yes!” cried Sprite. “It reminds me of the time I was attacked by a monster wielding a camera.”
“You what?” asked Fuen.
“Oh yes,” said Sprite, “I still have flashbacks.”
Fuen grimaced.
~
Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.
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Little Fears 