Bubble Wrap

“He’s trying to gather as many bubbles as he can,” sighed Spectre.

“But why?” asked Fuen.

“He thinks if he can gather enough bubbles he can make a giant slab of bubble wrap,” said Spectre.

“Bubble wrap?” asked Fuen.

“Yeah” said Spectre, “he’s pretty stressed.”

“But why bubble wrap?” asked Fuen.

“Bubble wrap is cheap, therapy is expensive,” grinned Spectre.

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Mist

“Red has been out there for ages,” said Fuen.

“He’ll be fine,” replied Yuffie.

“You don’t think he’s gotten lost in the mist, do you?” asked Fuen.

“Nah,” said Yuffie.

“I reckon that mist is due to global warming,” interjected Hydra.

“Now there’s a hot topic,” said Yuffie.

Fuen groaned.

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Patreon

“But when?” asked Hydra.

“Two hours ago,” sighed Yuffie.

“So there is no cat kibble anywhere in the house?” whined Hydra.

“Afraid not,” sighed Yuffie.

“Can’t the illustrator buy me more?” sniffed Hydra.

“He says you’re too expensive to keep,” replied Yuffie. “I have stolen his wallet four times this week and there’s been no money it.”

“Well there’s nothing for it then,” grumbled Hydra. “I shall go to the docks late at night.”

“Good thinking,” replied Yuffie. “We should be able to rob a few drunken sailors aye?”

Illustrator : You know I had been wondering how I kept losing money…

OK, so I am not that hard up, and I have not turned to a life of crime. But we do not yet live in a Utopian society where bills do not need paying and the cost of Hydras kitty litter bill is not prohibitive. If you would like to be super awesome, and help support our Great British groaners and flash fiction on the Internet, please do swing by my Patreon page and drop my some change for kitty litter or cups of tea.

Little Fears Patron Page

The tiers are below with what you get for pledging each month.

$1 per Month – Spook
$1 is a great way to support the Little Fears and the illustrator. Writing flash fiction won’t cover the mortgage or feed the puppies. Partly because Hydra eats everything in the fridge and Yuffie keeps stealing my wallet. But it will help keep the Little Fears feed open with new tales and illustrations daily!

$2 per Month – Fluffy Spook
The $2 tier is more or less the same as the $1 tier. However you get a warm and fluffy feeling as you know you have covered the cost of a cup of tea for the illustrator at the local Wonder Cafe. Thank you! I need that!

$5 per Month – Familiar
Well hey, there’s a Roses! Does anybody say that anymore? In fact has anyone outside the M25 ever said that? You want to give me $5 a month towards Hydras food bill? Well thank you! For that lets get you some early access. How about I post fiction on Patreon, exclusive to you, a day earlier than everywhere else, and you get it first!

Fore

“Don’t do that again,” sighed Spectre, pulling Sprite out of the water.

“Sorry,” said Sprite, “didn’t think it was that deep.”

“I don’t get why you jumped off the jetty,” grumbled Spectre.

“To be honest,” moaned Sprite. “Pier pressure.”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Air

“Do you think the balloonist will mind?” asked Sprite.

“I hope not,” replied Spectre.

“We did launch it before he was ready,” said Sprite.

“Looks like he’s still chasing us on foot,” said Spectre.

“He seems pretty angry,” said Sprite.

“Nah,” said Spectre, “he’s just full of hot air.”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Tennis

“It’s been tried,” sighed White.

“What’s that” asked Fuen.

“We were just discussing fish in sports,” said Black.

“Tried gettin’ a shoal of fish to play tennis,” said White.

“Ah,” said Fuen, “what was the problem?”

“Couldn’t get them near the nets,” sighed White.

 

~

 
Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Mum

“Can we mum?” asked the spiders in unison.

“No,” replied Mum.

“Oooooh, but muuuuuum,” whined the spiders in unison.

“No means no,” said Mum.

“But all our friends have started blogging,” moaned the spiders.

“Listen,” said Mum, “you three spend far too much time on the web already!”

 

~

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Hair

“Smoke, you don’t have any hair,” said Fuen.

“Yes I do,” said Smoke, “look.”

Smoke ruffled the top of his head.

“Yeah, but that ain’t actually hair is it,” stated Fuen.

“Could be,” sighed Smoke.

“A hairdresser would say you are bald, mate,” said Red.

“Oh, now that’s a cutting remark,” replied Smoke.

Fuen winced.

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Ash

“Oh piss off,” said Cigarette.

Ash laughed. “Oh, come on!”

“What’s up?” asked Fuen.

“Cigarette won’t play with me anymore,” said Ash.

“Why not?” asked Fuen.

“Because,” sighed Cigarette, “I’m sick of being the butt of his jokes.”

Ash smirked.

Fuen groaned.

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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Bridges

“I mean that could be a metaphor for life,” said Sprite, watching the fires burning on the bridge.

“Yeah,” sighed Fuen, “burnt a few too many bridges in my time.”

“Regrets?” asked Sprite.

“Many,” replied Fuen.

“How about you Yuffie?” asked Sprite.

“Oh, I don’t regret burning down bridges,” replied Yuffie. “I only regret some people weren’t on them at the time.”

 

~

 

Original photo available on Unsplash. Doodle and tale by Peter Edwards with his Posca Pens.

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