Fears – Page 14 – Little Fears

Break Up

July 18, 2018 LittleFears46 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 8

“We broke up eventually on her birthday,” said Lily.

“Oh dear,” said Sally.

“Bad day for it aye,” sighed Lily.

“Yes ma’am,” replied Sally. “May I ask, why on her birthday?”

“She kept asking me to get her something with diamonds in,” moaned Lily.

“What did you get her?” asked Sally.

“A pack of playing cards,” replied Lily.

Photo by Alex Lopez on Unsplash

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Empty Drawers

July 17, 2018 LittleFears36 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 7

“Didn’t you used to date Poppy ma’am?” asked Sally.

“For a while,” sighed Lily. “She drove me mad about the usage of furniture.”

“How so?” asked Sally.

“Well,” grumbled Lily, “we used to have an empty drawer in the bedroom. She would say ‘we need to use that drawer’ every single time we were in the room together.”

“Blimey,” replied Sally. “I would have told her to put a sock in it.”

Photo by Patrick König on Unsplash

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Apple Love

July 16, 2018 LittleFears24 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 6

“Where are we going ma’am?” asked Sally.

“I know a lady,” said Lily. “She may have a lead for us on Robyn’s location.”

“You’re so well connected,” sighed Sally in awe. “May I ask who your contact is?”

“You’ve met her,” replied Lily. “She’s the flower growing, apple eating liar of East Croydon.”

“Ah, yes,” said Sally. “Poppy Cox.”

Photo by superloop on Unsplash

Boys Lizard

July 13, 2018 LittleFears47 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 5

“This isn’t my first animal case,” said Sally, clipping in her seatbelt. “I worked on the infamous reptile case of 2023.”

“Ahh, the rampaging lizard on Clapham Common?” asked Lily, flicking on the blues and twos.

“Yes ma’am,” replied Sally. “It attacked nineteen people, leaving four of them in intensive care.”

“If I have my police history correct, didn’t the lizard belong to Boy George?” asked Lily.

“Yes ma’am,” replied Sally. “I wish he’d had a calmer chameleon…”

Photo by Olesya Grichina on Unsplash

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Kitten Movie

July 12, 2018 LittleFears35 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 4

“She has real cats too,” said Sally, opening the car door.

“Yes, I recall her name in a case I was once involved in,” replied Lily.

“Oh?” asked Sally.

“Some years ago, one of her french cats attacked a famous Belgian, Hollywood film star,” said Lily. “A Mr Damne if my memory serves me well.”

“Oh dear!” gasped Sally. “Was he OK?”

“He survived,” replied Lily. “Jean clawed Van Damne.”

Photo by Reuben Mcfeeters on Unsplash

Thank you for joining for today’s tale. If you need more Little Fears groaners, or even horrors, in your life, check out our books on Amazon. There’s no chronology to them and they are all completely separate books so you can start wherever and however you fancy. Unlike a delicate cake in a fancy restaurant. I don’t care how many stars you have, that chocolate cake is going into my mouth via hands. Feck the fork! Omnom!

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Egypt Kitty

July 11, 2018 LittleFears43 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 3

“She’s tried building piles of cat soft toys before ma’am,” said Sally.

“I see,” replied Lily. “How big has she made them in the past?”

“One hundred metres tall. I have a photo of the last one from her case file,” said Sally, handing Lily the photo.

“You see this?” asked Lily. “This pile has four flat sides getting smaller the higher the pile goes. See? A sharp point at the top.”

“What does that mean?” asked Sally.

“Looks like a purramid to me,” replied Lily.

Photo by Billy Pasco on Unsplash

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Soft Toys

July 10, 2018 LittleFears39 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 2

“A cat burglar aye?” asked Lily. “Are banks her usual M.O?”

“Not usually ma’am,” replied Sally. “But she’s trying to either buy or steal every soft cat toy in these lands.”

“Cat soft toys?” asked Lily, grabbing her car keys. “Too what end?”

“Word on the street says shes wants the biggest pile of cat toys the world has ever seen,” said Sally. “She’s a sick deviant that should be locked up for life if you ask me.”

“Now, now,” said Lily. “There’s no need to make a meowtain out of a molehill.”

Photo by Patrick König on Unsplash

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Cracked Vault

July 9, 2018 LittleFears41 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 1

“Ma’am,” said Sally, as she entered DCI Lily’s office.

“Inspector,” replied Lily looking up from her desk.

“A call has come in ma’am,” said Sally. “First Account, our local high street building society, has had its vault cracked and cleaned out.”

“Any suspects?” asked Lily, reaching for her coat.

“It has the hallmarks of the famous cat burglar of South London,” said Sally. “Robyn Banks.”

Photo by Alesia Kazantceva on Unsplash

A new story, a new crime, a new villain and the return of DCI Lily and Inspector Sally!

Living Cars

July 6, 2018 LittleFears57 Comments

Living Cars

Life (Ep. 0 of -1)

“It’s not alive,” she grumbled.

“It is,” claimed the Illustrator. “Look, see, two eyes and a mouth. It’s smiling at us.”

“Clouds don’t wave at us, bulldog clips don’t bite us and that car has no emotions. Inanimate objects can’t smile,” she moaned.

The illustrator furrowed his brow.

She threw her hands up. “I give up. How do you do it?” she asked walking away. “How do you anthropomorphize everything you see into a stupid doodle or story?”

The illustrator looked at the car.

The car looked back.

“How do you not?” sighed the illustrator.

Heading Home

July 5, 2018 LittleFears42 Comments

Heading Home

Social Fears (Ep. 4 of 4)

“Gonna fly home mate,” said Fuen.

“It’s been a long month,” sighed Yuffie.

“With no internet,” noted Fuen. “Can’t wait to get in and check my email.”

“Yeah, and I need to upload these snaps to Ello,” said Yuffie.

“You know you’re home,” pondered Fuen, “when the Wi-Fi connects automatically.”