Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Here we go,” said Lily.
“My word, that’s a lot of shopping websites in her history,” noticed Sally.
“Looking at her wish list,” said Lily, “I think she’s trying to build a model of Mt Everest.”
“To scale?” asked Sally.
“Nah, just to look at,” replied Lily.
Photo by samsommer on Unsplash
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June brings new things and exciting projects!
I’ve voiced my issues with the quality of Society6 T-shirts before. The main reason I went to Threadless for my shirts. However, their ancillary stuff is pretty good. Their phone cases are durable and the laptop sleeves are well padded. So I have moved a little to the left and opened a Society6 store. I’ll keep the shirts on Threadless only though as I feel the quality is far superior. You can visit both stores at the links below.
Society6: society6.com/littlefears
Threadless: littlefears.threadless.com
My good friends at Ann-William loved the title of an old post of mine, Villains and Birdsong. So much so, they’re writing a story about it. You can read a snippet HERE, and with a bit of luck, the complete story will be published this year and may eventually be turned into a novel. Nice. Also, they have just released a new book, Krissy’s Notebook, available now on Amazon.
Check them out at https://ann-william.com/
I’ve mentioned a few times I’m trying to get back to collaborating with people after the last few collabs collapsed, but it looks like this one may actually happen. Decided to pull in two people I knew well and narrow down a collab to a phrase. “It arrived.” My partners in crime for this collaboration are Layne and Forrest. If all goes well, we shall be publishing a piece of art or fiction next Sunday to the theme of “it arrived.”
Layne: chewing-on-glass.com
Forrest: forresting365.com
A lot of us blog, write and doodle because it’s what we love doing. But it’s nice to have our creations seen by others on the internet. Getting seen is something a lot of us struggle with. So my suggestion to folk this week who want to be seen is to ignore those articles like, “10 great things you must be doing on social media today”. Instead, grab 2-3 mates in the blogging or social media world. Get together and do a small collaboration.
Pick a theme, like ‘it arrived’ and each of you writes a post on that topic. Beauty blogger? Pick a brand of make-up that you all have and each of you can incorporate it into a look. Lifestyle blogger? Pick a tea brand, Instagram your cups and link to each other. Consider a 3-way interview, run it on Discord and invite people to join.
When you publish your posts, @ each other in your tweets, Instagrams and Facefungi.
I’d wager most of you would benefit more from getting together with fellow humans than reading another “top 10 social media trends” posts.
A helpful link, I wrote a huge post on collaborations a while back. You can read it here: littlefears.co.uk/2017/11/13/blog-collaborations/
And just a wee note, that if you love what I do and want to support the Little Fears, you can buy us a cuppa on ko-fi or pledge as little as $1 through Patreon. It’ll help me, help you, wake each morning with a groan and cry of pain as you read my woeful puns.
I’m not really selling the benefits there am I?…
Little Fears on Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/littlefears
Little Fears on Patreon: patreon.com/littlefears
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“Is the anti-virus up to date?” asked Sally.
“It seems so,” said Lily.
“Gotta be careful about computer viruses ma’am,” said Sally.
“I know,” replied Lily. “I once had a virus on my desktop PC.”
“What was the cure?” asked Sally.
“An 80’s goth rock band,” replied Lily. “But that’s not important right now.”
Photo by Davids Kokainis on Unsplash
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“I’m in,” announced Lily as the laptop pinged to life.
“We should check her browsing history too, ma’am,” said Sally. “If there are any snake websites we’d know the hissy little git was hers.”
“Good thinking, Sally,” said Lilly. “Hmm, it doesn’t want to load any web pages.”
“Have you tried disabling cookies?” asked Sally.
“Well, I once bit the legs of a gingerbread man,” replied Lily.
Photo by Jordan Sanchez on Unsplash
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“Let me have a look,” said Lily, taking control of the laptop.
“Do you have a background in tech?” asked Sally.
“I once built an automated robot,” replied Lily. “It would talk about the weather while delivering small objects to friends and family.”
“Oh wow,” gasped Sally. “Sounds impressive!”
“Eh, I had to turn it off in the end,” grumbled Lily. “It would drone on and on.”
Photo by Mariano Rossi on Unsplash
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“Her laptop’s on,” noticed Lily.
“So it is,” said Sally.
“We should check her emails for clues,” said Lily.
“It’s password protected, ma’am,” sighed Sally. “We may need to call the police dog tech team.”
“Oh don’t bother with them,” grumbled Lily. “Their bark is worse than their byte.”
Photo by Yiqun Tang on Unsplash
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“A what ‘thon’?” asked Sally.
“Sally, are you going deaf?” asked Lily.
“A little,” sighed Sally. “But only in one ear, ma’am.”
“What ear is it?” asked Lily.
“2018,” replied Sally.
Photo by Florencia Potter on Unsplash
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Lily cocked her head, “did you hear that?”
“A hissing,” replied Sally, “where’s it coming from?”
Lily opened the cupboard. “Cripes, a snake!”
Sally grabbed a broom for protection. “Is it a dangerous breed?”
“Well,” said Lily, “it looks like the snake is exactly 3.14 metres long.”
“What’s that mean?” asked Sally.
“It’s a pi-thon,” replied Lily.
Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash
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“What else have the team found?” asked Lily.
“There’s a body in the freezer ma’am,” replied Sally, leading Lily through to the kitchen.
“My word,” said Lily. “She’s crammed in there. Any signs of what killed her?”
“Not that we can easily see,” replied Sally. “She’s been in there a while. Frozen solid.”
“Well I guess,” sighed Lily, “this is a cold case.”
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“Is there anything missing?” asked Lily.
“We’re not sure,” replied Sally. “We found some empty boxes in her bedroom.”
“I see,” said Lily, wandering through to the bedroom.
“Small jewellery boxes on the dresser ma’am,” said Sally. “H. R. Maguffin Jewelers. A diamond specialist if I recall the name correctly. All boxes are empty.”
“Seems the motive is crystal clear,” pondered Lily.
Photo by Cheryl Winn-Boujnida on Unsplash
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Little Fears 