Category: Fears

Shepards Bush

LittleFears21 Comments

Capricorn (ep. 64)

He dragged her along the floor by her neck with his crook. Down the stairs now, her head banging against each step. Cold stone. She felt dizzy.

A heavy wooden door at the bottom. They went through it into a dark room. He released her. The door slammed shut.

Tilting her head to the side, she felt blood against her face. It was probably hers. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Two more men were here. Both with crooks. In the centre of the room seemed to be a twelve-foot-tall topiary sheep. Its eyes were red. It looked down at her.

‘Shepard’s Bush’ she thought to herself. She’d always wondered where this place had gotten its name.

~~~

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Arctic Desert

LittleFears34 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 29)

https://youtu.be/WyhgdaNKwA4
“Are you finding life inland enjoyable?” asked Reala.

“Not bad,” replied a penguin. “You know, this pub reminds me of the dive we visited when we walked across the Sahara with that nameless arctic fox.”

“Yeah it does a bit,” said the second penguin. “Proper dump!”

“A nameless arctic fox in the desert,” pondered Reala. “What did you call her?”

“Lost,” snickered the penguins.

~~~

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Chilly Meat

LittleFears27 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 28)

https://youtu.be/Z_6cYw5OegM
“I wonder where Sandra ended up,” wondered one penguin out loud.

“Who’s Sandra?” asked Reala

“The fourth penguin in our troupe,” replied the penguin. “She left us early on due to a disagreement in the chilly northern forests over meat.”

“Oh dear,” said Reala, “what happened?”

“Nothing really,” replied the penguin, “she just got the cold shoulder.”

~~~

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Moving Inland

LittleFears49 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 27)

“OK,” sighed Reala. “Why are you here?”

“We have told the sea we are leaving, and are moving inland,” announced a penguin.

“I see,” said Reala. “What did the sea say about that?”

“Nothing,” replied the penguin. “She just waved”.

The penguins snickered.

~~~

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Fortune Machines

LittleFears44 Comments

Capricorn (ep. 63)

The card read: ‘You will find another man’.

She turned it over in her hand, looking to David.

“You take this stuff seriously?” he laughed. “It’s so dumb.”

He whacked the machine. A card slid out. ‘She will find another man’.

“Feckin’ machine,” he spat, whacking it again.

A third card. ‘You’re dead Dave’.

He reached back to punch the glass just as the machine toppled forward onto him.

~~~

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Yodelling Penguins

LittleFears59 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 26)

Three penguins shuffled into the bar. They stood in such a tightly formed line that when Reala looked at them from the front, it seemed like they were just one penguin.

“Erm,” started Reala, “hello?”

“‘Allo darling,” squeaked the first penguin. “We’re here for a yodelling lesson.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know of any yodelling lessons taught around here,” replied Reala.

“Darn,” said the penguin. “Then we formed an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue for nothing.”

~~~

How does a boomtish sound if performed in the key of yodel?

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D’Jinns Gift

LittleFears37 Comments

Capricorn (ep. 62)

“Well, it is what you asked for,” replied D’Jinn.

“No,” he whimpered. “You tricked me.”

“I gave you exactly what you wanted,” laughed D’Jinn. “To be in power for the rest of your lifetime.”

He looked at his reflection in the car window. His reflection. Gaddafi’s reflection.

~~~

If there’s one thing horror films have taught me, it’s don’t make wishes!

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Snow Slides

LittleFears36 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 25)

Reala was freezing. She was sat peering out of the window at three penguins on opposite side of the road.

The penguins then industriously made a snow slide and tried sliding down it. Being made of snow, it fell apart.

They then crossed the road and tried the slide in the Grey Moon beer garden.

Reala caught her breath. There was a punchline there.

~~~

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. There are no depths I will not plumb for a groan!

Also, these penguins turn up in quite a few tales. My editor has declared them her spirit animals. I think I understand…

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Walks into a Bar

LittleFears32 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 24)

“I do have a concern,” said Reala.

“What’s that?” asked Yuffie.

“Yesterday an Englishwoman, Irishwoman and Scotswoman came in. Followed by a horse, a blonde, a priest and a rabbi,” said Reala. “I am very concerned…”

“With what?” asked Yuffie.

“That my life’s a joke…”

~~~

Oh my days, Reala, I feel ya!

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Giving Up

LittleFears41 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 23)

“Do any religious figures come through here?” asked Reala.

“Some, but we rarely speak to them,” said Yuffie.

“Have you ever given anything up for religion?” asked Fuen.

“Never,” replied Yuffie.

“I did once,” said Reala.

“Oh?” asked Jessie.

“Yeah,” said Reala. “I once gave up plucking my belly button for lint…”

~~~

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