Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“It looks like there was a struggle,” observed Lily.
“Aye,” agreed Sally. “There must have been a tussle by the sideboard.”
“A smashed lamp,” noticed Lily. “Change and jewellery tray scattered on the floor. Scraps of a painting.”
“Was the painting in anything?” pondered Sally.
“There are bits of broken wood between here and the body,” said Lily.
“So the victim’s been framed,” replied Sally.
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“Ah,” said Sally, “the pizza expert here.”
“Pan,” she said shaking Sally’s hand. “Deep pan. Pizza crime specialist.”
“Ma’am, we found melted cheese on the victim’s body,” said Sally.
“I see,” said Lily, watching Pan inspect the dairy. “Cant you tell us anything?”
“Well, it’s cheddar,” said Pan. “From a pizzeria. Organic. Pretty fresh. It’s been shredded into little pieces.”
“Sounds grate,” replied Sally.
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“What’s that in her hand?” asked Lily.
Sally, diligently reached down and open the body’s closed fist. “It’s a roll-up, ma’am. Smells of weed.”
“Interesting,” pondered Lily, reaching down and bloodied rock. “Where did this come from?”
“The ground I imagine ma’am,” replied Sally. “It’s another potential murder weapon. She has blood on the back of her head, could have been blunt force trauma from the rock.”
“Make a note Sally,” said Lily. “Evidence she was stoned.”
Photo by Aperture Vintage on Unsplash
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“What’s that?” asked Lily.
“Chicken feathers,” replied Sally. “Twenty-six bantam feathers to be exact. All of them piercing the skin around her kidneys.”
“So this could be a ritual murder,” said Lily.
“Certainly murder most fowl,” replied Sally.
Original photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash
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“Tell me about the body,” asked Lily.
“Well ma’am,” said Sally, “she appears to have received a dozen different injuries.”
“Such as?” asked Lily.
“Well to start with if you look here,” said Sally, “her eyes have been damaged by a blunt object. We suspect this was caused by this big book, found by her feet.”
Lily picked up the text, Chemistry For Beginners. “So, she was blinded by science.”
Original photo by Kiwihug on Unsplash
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“What have we got?” asked DCI Lily.
“A mass murder,” replied Inspector Sally. “With one victim.”
Lily raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”
“Well ma’am,” replied Sally. “We have eight murder weapons with blood on. Six potential motives. A lot of blood on the walls and one body inside this apartment.”
Lily knelt next to the corpse. “What’s this inside her mouth?”
“The coroner believes it’s the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag,” replied Sally. “She’s unsure if that’s what caused her death.”
“Well, we know one thing,” sighed Lily. “She bit the dust.”
New story time! Woot, woot! Gave the video a slight update. Love my new end screen. I don’t mean to sound vain, but it looks awesome.
Look! Down there! New buttons! That’s a pleasant update. Need to clean up the Threadless button, but otherwise, much nicer than the old ones.
Also, I now have a Ko-Fi page instead of a PayPal tip jar. For those that fancy dropping me a few pennies but don’t like Patreon.
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Little Fears 