Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Hows the new neighbours?” asked Clouds.
“I baked them a box of skeleton cookies,” said Yuffie.
“And I threw them a house-warming party,” said Lucy.
“No, Lucy, it was arson,” sighed Yuffie.
“That’s just what the police call it,” grumbled Lucy.
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“It’d give me a rush, you know?” lamented Hydra.
“I used to get such a thrill out racing hedgehogs,” sighed Red.
“I used to get a thrill out of stealing kitchen utensils,” sighed Sprite.
Red and Hydra turned to Sprite, awaiting further explanation.
“Tells ya,” said Sprite. “I was a real whisk taker.”
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“New book?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah,” replied Hydra. “Struggling to get into it.”
“What is it?” asked Yuffie.
“Collins Thesaurus,” replied Hydra. “Nothing to write house about.”
Yuffie grimaced.
“I didn’t rate Thesaurus either,” pipped in Red. “I got forty pages in and not one dinosaur.”
“Let’s have a look at that,” said Yuffie, inspecting the bottle’s label.
“Good stuff,” pointed out Marge.
“Jeez, Marge,” gasped Yuffie, “that’s some old whiskey.”
“I know,” replied Marge. “I just like my whiskey like I like my women.”
“Aye?” asked Yuffie.
“Twice my age and from Scotland,” grinned Marge.
“Another text?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah,” grumbled Lucy.
“That must have been twenty in five minutes,” pondered Yuffie. “Who’re they all from?”
“My ex,” sighed Lucy.
Fuen looked over Lucy’s shoulder. “They all say ‘wish you were here…’”
“Yep,” grumbled Lucy. “She always sends them when she’s walking through a graveyard.”
Sprite stepped out of the Posh Nosh restaurant elevator. “Have a good day son,” said the lift operator.
“Don’t call me son,” grumbled Sprite. “You ain’t my dad.”
“Well, no,” pondered the lift operator. “But I brought you up didn’t I?”
“I tell ya, man,” said Sprite, “my new job’s so hard.”
“What is it?” asked Red.
“Professional dog walker,” replied Sprite.
“Ah,” pondered Red. “I would have thought it was a walk in the park.”
“Lucy,” cheered Spiders, “long time no see.”
“Hello, Spiders,” sighed Lucy.
“Oh dear,” said Spiders. “You sound glum. Something up?”
“Just been to the doctor,” grumbled Lucy. “She told me I was going to die soon.”
“My word,” gasped Spider. “Did she say what of?”
“No,” pondered Lucy. “But I think she’s realised I’m sleeping with her wife.”
“I need some further education,” sighed Arya.
“Want to learn anything in particular?” asked Mud.
“A new language, maybe,” replied Arya.
“Oh, I learned sign language a few years ago,” said Mud.
“Ahh, awesome,” said Arya. “Have you ever needed it?”
“Well,” pondered Muck, “it’s come in handy.”
“She called me a cretaceous throwback with a head as bobbly as a Necroraphidia,” moaned Bugly.
“That’s what all this sulking is about?” sighed Sprite.
Buglys eyes widened and his top mandible quivered.
“Ok, listen, don’t worry about what humans think,” said Sprite. “They don’t do it very often.”
~~~
Howdy, all. Trying a new title picture and hopefully image inserts for WordPress reader and email subscription today. Paws crossed. Might make image shares from this page a bit more interesting too.
Planned theme change didn’t happen because a plugin broke my website for four days. Apologies to any deleted comments, I had to cobble together a six week old back up. Thank you, as always, for sticking about everyone.
Little Fears 