Category: Spiders

“What ya got there?” Spectre asked Sprite.

“My latest Ebay conquest,” said Sprite. “A Buddhist lamp from a 16th-century monastery!”

“Nice,” said Spectre. “I hope it’s enlightening…”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“Oh, shut up,” snapped Spider. “I’m fine!”

“Bugger off then,” replied Fuen.

“Spider, your addiction to drinking brake fluid is getting out of hand!” yelled Yuffie.

“Rubbish!” cried Spider, “I can stop anytime…”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“It’s a UFO!” said Cloud, for the umpteenth time.

“I still don’t see it!” said Sprite. “It’s just a field of wheat!”

“Let me have a look,” said Fuen.

Sprite handed Fuen the photo. Fuen studied the image for a moment. It was a low-resolution photo, depicting a field of wheat.

“Well?” sulked Cloud.

“I can’t make out a UFO,” said Fuen. “It’s too grainy.”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“Good grief Spectre, you stink,” exclaimed Peacock.

“I know,” said Spectre. “Just been sacked from another job.”

“Oh dear,” said Peacock. “What was it this time?”

“Garbage collector,” sighed Spectre. “I was a rubbish driver…”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“That’s an odd-looking jacket,” said Bird.

“Yeah, Spectre got it for me,” replied Sprite.

“It looks like it’s made of flower stems,” said Bird.

“Yes,” said Sprite. “I didn’t like it at first, but then it grew on me…”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

Horse kicked the crumbling wall and gave a snort.

“What’s wrong?” asked Sprite.

“Just lost my new job after two hours as an acupuncturist,” moaned Horse.

“Oh dear,” replied Sprite. “What happened?”

“Eh…” sighed Horse. “I just didn’t get the point…”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“Red has a job?” asked Cloud.

“He’s the local theatre’s chief locksmith,” replied Yuffie.

“I see,” said Cloud, not actually seeing. “Do they need a chief locksmith?”

“Oh yes,” replied Yuffie. “He’s a key employee!”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“That’s a lot of magazines, Flower!” said Yuffie.

“New business venture,” said Flower.

“Oh?” inquired Yuffie.

“Gonna start a gardening magazine delivery service using ex-military flying drones,” said Flower.

“Ooh,” said Yuffie. “That’ll raise some issues…”

~

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless

“Good grief!” said Fuen, “did anybody survive?”

“Not a soul,” said Yuffie, as Cloud floated by.

“What’s ya talking about?” asked Cloud.

“A horror story. Sea monster attacking spirits with a refrigerator,” said Yuffie.

“Gosh,” said Cloud. “Sounds chilling…”

“Looking glum there, Spider,” said Yuffie, “Wos’ up?”

“What is up,” replied Spider calmly.

“OK,” replied Yuffie, “what is up?”

“Swallowed a bottle of Tipp-Ex last night instead of Viagra,” sighed Spider.

“Oh dear!” said Yuffie. “Any side effects?”

“Yes,” whimpered Spider. “I woke up with a massive correction.”

 

~

 

Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare| Threadless