Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“What else have the team found?” asked Lily.
“There’s a body in the freezer ma’am,” replied Sally, leading Lily through to the kitchen.
“My word,” said Lily. “She’s crammed in there. Any signs of what killed her?”
“Not that we can easily see,” replied Sally. “She’s been in there a while. Frozen solid.”
“Well I guess,” sighed Lily, “this is a cold case.”
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“Is there anything missing?” asked Lily.
“We’re not sure,” replied Sally. “We found some empty boxes in her bedroom.”
“I see,” said Lily, wandering through to the bedroom.
“Small jewellery boxes on the dresser ma’am,” said Sally. “H. R. Maguffin Jewelers. A diamond specialist if I recall the name correctly. All boxes are empty.”
“Seems the motive is crystal clear,” pondered Lily.
Photo by Cheryl Winn-Boujnida on Unsplash
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“The window,” said Lily. “Was it open when you arrived?”
“Yes it was,” replied Sally.
“I see there are policemen fishing something out of the pool below,” observed Lily.
“Shares ma’am,” stated Sally, thumbing through her notes. “She’d invested heavily in swimming pool manufacturers.”
“Well it would appear,” said Lily, “her stocks dived.”
Photo by Adrien Siami on Unsplash
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“It looks like there was a struggle,” observed Lily.
“Aye,” agreed Sally. “There must have been a tussle by the sideboard.”
“A smashed lamp,” noticed Lily. “Change and jewellery tray scattered on the floor. Scraps of a painting.”
“Was the painting in anything?” pondered Sally.
“There are bits of broken wood between here and the body,” said Lily.
“So the victim’s been framed,” replied Sally.
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“Ah,” said Sally, “the pizza expert here.”
“Pan,” she said shaking Sally’s hand. “Deep pan. Pizza crime specialist.”
“Ma’am, we found melted cheese on the victim’s body,” said Sally.
“I see,” said Lily, watching Pan inspect the dairy. “Cant you tell us anything?”
“Well, it’s cheddar,” said Pan. “From a pizzeria. Organic. Pretty fresh. It’s been shredded into little pieces.”
“Sounds grate,” replied Sally.
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“What’s that in her hand?” asked Lily.
Sally, diligently reached down and open the body’s closed fist. “It’s a roll-up, ma’am. Smells of weed.”
“Interesting,” pondered Lily, reaching down and bloodied rock. “Where did this come from?”
“The ground I imagine ma’am,” replied Sally. “It’s another potential murder weapon. She has blood on the back of her head, could have been blunt force trauma from the rock.”
“Make a note Sally,” said Lily. “Evidence she was stoned.”
Photo by Aperture Vintage on Unsplash
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“What’s that?” asked Lily.
“Chicken feathers,” replied Sally. “Twenty-six bantam feathers to be exact. All of them piercing the skin around her kidneys.”
“So this could be a ritual murder,” said Lily.
“Certainly murder most fowl,” replied Sally.
Original photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash
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“Tell me about the body,” asked Lily.
“Well ma’am,” said Sally, “she appears to have received a dozen different injuries.”
“Such as?” asked Lily.
“Well to start with if you look here,” said Sally, “her eyes have been damaged by a blunt object. We suspect this was caused by this big book, found by her feet.”
Lily picked up the text, Chemistry For Beginners. “So, she was blinded by science.”
Original photo by Kiwihug on Unsplash
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“What have we got?” asked DCI Lily.
“A mass murder,” replied Inspector Sally. “With one victim.”
Lily raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”
“Well ma’am,” replied Sally. “We have eight murder weapons with blood on. Six potential motives. A lot of blood on the walls and one body inside this apartment.”
Lily knelt next to the corpse. “What’s this inside her mouth?”
“The coroner believes it’s the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag,” replied Sally. “She’s unsure if that’s what caused her death.”
“Well, we know one thing,” sighed Lily. “She bit the dust.”
New story time! Woot, woot! Gave the video a slight update. Love my new end screen. I don’t mean to sound vain, but it looks awesome.
Look! Down there! New buttons! That’s a pleasant update. Need to clean up the Threadless button, but otherwise, much nicer than the old ones.
Also, I now have a Ko-Fi page instead of a PayPal tip jar. For those that fancy dropping me a few pennies but don’t like Patreon.
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As I mentioned yesterday, Grey Moons last story was published on the Little Fears website this week. Along with Capricorns final page. A letter to the illustrator.
I’m afraid I lack good photos of the book. Both my copies were sent up to Scotland a year ago where I was meant to follow two to three months later. A year later… Life aye? Still, it looks like my two years bad luck run with the flat may be coming to an end. Some progress has been made on the sale. If it happens in June I’ll be homeless for a few months until I’m able to buy a new house. So darned happy today.
Capricorns horror stories were about the best thing I did early on in the Little Fears life. By establishing horror and weird fiction alongside the humour, I gave myself a huge amount of flexibility in what I can draw and write here. I love telling Little Fears groaners, but if that’s all this website was, I think it would be a bit poorer.
The horror shorts came about from a deep love of the old British horror and sci-fi radio shows along with theTwilight Zones and Outer Limits.
Capricorns horror shorts are available as an ebook and a paperback. I’d usually say something piffy about sniffing books, but in this case, I’d sniff with caution. You don’t know if she’s going to reach off the cover and drag you into one of her horrors within.
Fancy the risk? Well OK, I did warn you. She’s available on Amazon from the links below.
She’s also available on my Etsy store.
My good friend Joseph from WikiPoem recently asked about getting a tattoo of Capricorn. Brave man! I’ve never heard of a tattoo dragging its bearer into the pits of horror, but it sure sounds possible!
Finally, if you have a custom request for an illustration, doodle or fear you have seen here, just let me know in comments. Another good friend from WordPress, Eric of Dogtown (who I feel like I’ve known forever!), put in a request the other day. I’m quite happy to offer reprints of older illustrations.
Little Fears sales posts are like a British bus service. Nothing for ages, then two come along at once…
Little Fears 