funny – Page 20 – Little Fears

Lineage Dwarves

February 20, 2019 LittleFears30 Comments

“So she plays a dwarf?” asked Fuen.

“Yep,” replied Yuffie. “She’s trying to gather a hunting group of us, all under four foot tall.”

“I see,” replied Fuen. “That’ll be a little party.”

HAH! Boom! Fantasy race puns to the face! Take that, readers!

Awful game. Repetitive grind, all female characters in high heels, all male characters in OTT spikey armour. But, eh, we all have a guilty games pleasure on tablets now, right? Could be worse. Could be Candy Crush or Farmsville…

Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Ladder Climb

February 20, 2019 LittleFears15 Comments

Brass Ep. 32

As Copper and Iron left the house, it began sinking into the ground. Copper gasped when she realised it was going to take her vintage ladder collection with it.

Iron placed a consolatory claw on Copper’s leg. Her new friend may be a mute, but Copper was glad she wasn’t facing this alone. She knew when this was over she’d be able to rebuild her life and ladder collection.

Step by step.

Photo by Biao Xie on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Music Machines

February 19, 2019 LittleFears24 Comments

Brass Ep. 31

“You can’t talk, can you?” sighed Copper as they headed towards the exit. Irons silence offered a reply.

Copper grabbed her Hi-Fi’s keyboard as she left the house. She’d heard voiceless robots would only communicate with keyboards synchronized to musical devices.

She immediately chastised herself. Clearly, that was stereotyping.

Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Sat Nav

February 18, 2019 LittleFears17 Comments

Brass Ep. 30

Iron stepped out of the bath and shook herself off. “We need to leave,” said Copper, filling her bag once again with supplies. The rumble of buildings collapsing up the road urged them into action.

Copper grabbed the map and looked for her sat-nav. She darted into the kitchen where she’d left it plugged in to charge and update.

Cursing herself for a silly mistake, as it was now in sync.

Ooo, now that’s one that works better over voice!

Shout out to Dee who bought me a Ko-Fi the other day (Jenny Haynes and DeesDaily). Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Iron Nick

February 17, 2019 LittleFears44 Comments

Iron Nick

By Peter Matthews

Iron Nick was really quite cheesed off. His boss kept badgering him to work harder. He was getting pretty steamed up about it all.

Lucy, meanwhile, was egging Nick on. She advised him to tell the boss where to stick his lousy job.

It became so heated that the three of them got together to sort things out once and for all. If we can’t agree, the boss said, I’ll have to get the board to make a decision. Really, it’s Iron Nick. He must decide.

Sorry boss, Nick said, I quit. I have more pressing matters to attend to!

Story by Peter Matthews of pollymermaid.wordpress.com. Check out his blog for more of Peters ponderings. Thanks for the tale, Peter!

Different Levels

February 15, 2019 LittleFears21 Comments

Brass Ep. 29

Copper awoke to the sound of the houses over the road collapsing. She peeked outside. A dim pre-dawn light revealed the entire terrace was gone.

She grabbed a freshly charged battery and hooked up the mechanical creature. “I remember now. You’re Iron,” gasped Copper.

Flicking a switch, Iron’s eyes lit up red. “I hope you remember, we built an extra floor of a house together,” sighed Copper.

That was another story.

Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Politics Puns

February 14, 2019 LittleFears30 Comments

Brass Ep. 28

The mechanical creature in Coppers oil bath needed an overnight soak. She hooked a battery up to her charger and stroked its face.

“I know you,” said Copper. “I just can’t remember where from.” Punchlines about vague memories of ambiguous election promises filled her mind.

Copper didn’t approve of political jokes. She knew too many of them got elected.

Photo by Aron Van de Pol on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Magica

February 13, 2019 LittleFears11 Comments

“A magic dog?” gasped Sprite. “What breed is it?”

“A labracadabrador,” grinned Fluffeh.

Boom! Hah! Take that to the face, readers!

So, that right there is an ACEO. ACEO stands for Art Card Originals and Editions. They are sisters-in-law of ATC’s or Art Trading Cards.

They are diddy. 2.5 by 3.5 inches. Credit card sized art you can carry in your wallet. It’s a compact and affordable art form for artists and anyone who enjoys their art.

Fluffeh here is currently on my Etsy store £6. She’s got free global delivery and even comes in a wee plastic sleeve. She doesn’t come with a magic dog. Sorry about that.

Little Fears Etsy store link: etsy.me/2sHiY3a

Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Remote Control

February 13, 2019 LittleFears21 Comments

Brass Ep. 27

She turned her bag out. A collection of parts and oils salvaged from the day. Items fell out that she didn’t recall picking up. A universal remote tumbled out of the backpack and bounced across the floor.

Copper picked it up and gasped. This changes everything.

Photo by Loewe Technologies on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.

Battery Power

February 12, 2019 LittleFears29 Comments

Copper rummaged around a table. She knew she had at least one half-full battery remaining. Though, most of them were empty.

She’d drained and used the deionized water from all of the cells. The empty batteries she’d leave on her brick-a-brak table, outside of her front door. Giving them away to passing strangers.

Free of charge, of course.

Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.