Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
Brass Ep. 25
The tail straightened with ease. She replaced its bulbs, cleared its nose and emptied the soil from its mouth.
She grabbed a jar of compressed air off the shelf and blew the last of the dirt out of its head. She’d gotten over a hundred jars of compressed air when she visited the Air and Space Museum. It was a let-down.
There was nothing there.
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By Silk Cords
Brass decided to stay grounded after her failure at electrical work. She decided to try her hand at cooking, recalling several TV shows she’d watched.
Brass went to the local chef’s college and found out there was an entrance exam. The exam consisted of several tests of knife skills such as julienne slicing carrots. After failing to even sharpen her knives properly, the instructor was blunt with Brass…
Her knife skills just didn’t make the cut.
Well, at least I took a stab at it, Brass thought as she left.
Story by Silk Cords of http://silkcordsblog.wordpress.com/. Check out her blog for saucy tales. Thanks for the funnies Silk!
Also thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.
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Brass Ep. 24
Home, at last, Copper pulled a tin of WD-40 off the shelf and started giving the creature a clean. Wondering what this robot was for in a previous life. A faded red rectangle with an indigo cross suggested it was built in Norway. Although its front legs were burnt black, she could make out bird decorations on them.
Copper slid the creature into a bathtub filled with oil and let it soak. She figured this Norwegian robot could have been created to study remote bird life. So it Scandinavian.
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Brass Ep. 23
Copper needed a rest and a drink of oil. She couldn’t carry this creature the whole way home. She could see a row of shopping trolleys across the street. Further up the road, Copper could see 4-stroke motor oil stacked into a tidy pile.
“This isn’t a date or anything,” she said to her new silent friend. “But I’m about to take you somewhere very expensive.”
Copper eased the creature into a shopping trolley and wheeled her into the petrol stations forecourt.
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Fear of Ink (ep. 2)
“Wimmin, huh?” laughed Sprite.
Cloud dropped a few raindrops on Sprite. “So what happened?”
“I told her she should embrace her mistakes,” replied Morph.
“And then?” asked Sprite.
“Well, nothing,” replied Morph. “She just hugged me.”
Cloud held it in as she drifted off on the breeze.
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Brass Ep. 22
She tried a switch to turn it on. Aside from a click, there were no signs of life. The metal creatures appearance pleased Copper. She wasn’t sure why. She dragged it out of the earth and gave it a brush, removing the loose soil.
Copper noticed the creature contained magnets as she struggled to release her grip of it. Despite the rust, it looked to be in good condition. A few minor repairs and a battery charge might have it working again. She knew better than to get her hopes up. But she found the idea of a new magnetic friend in these decaying lands quite attractive.
Photo by Caylee Betts on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.
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Brass Ep. 21
Copper reached down and clawed at the dirt around the metal lump. The soil around it was dark, both burned and stained with oil.
Stones came up in her claw. Underneath, a cracked bulb glinted up at her. She dug her talons in around the metal casing and lifted it out. A long and narrow head, similar to her own emerged. A rigid body and four legs followed. Its stiff tail coiled like a spring. A rusted patina browned with age and dirt.
Who or what-ever this was, she knew it wasn’t evil. After all, there’s no rust for the wicked.
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Brass Ep. 20
Copper darted outside when she heard a rumbling from up the road. She could see the supermarket had collapsed in the distance. The rot of this human-made world was decaying faster by the day. No change there.
As she started the long walk home, she noticed the storefronts had rotted in the short time she’d been in the hardware store. Buildings creaked as the timber frames gave.
A clunk came from below her, as she stubbed her toe on a lump of metal protruding from the ground. Something was afoot.
Photo by Andrew Amistad on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.
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Brass Ep. 19
Next to the exit were the pet and bird foods. She’d always filled the bird tables despite the seed never being eaten. The wind would always take it eventually.
The only seed that hadn’t blown away was David Elms heavy bird food. A five-kilo bag was only the size of a one-kilo bag of flour. Also, the poshest bird food Copper had seen. The seeds wore tiny tuxedoes. The birds still didn’t eat it.
Copper figured it was un-peckable.
Photo by Jacek Dylag on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the $10 Patronage.
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Brass Ep. 18
She hurried up the aisle of the hardware store, emptying the shelves of various oils into her trolley.
She rounded a corner and saw clamp attached to a workbench. Beside it laid seven decks of playing cards, a pile of £20 notes and a handful of casino chips.
She knew the shopkeepers only vice was gambling.
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Little Fears 