humor – Page 37 – Little Fears

Smoking Rocks

May 24, 2018 LittleFears51 Comments

Lost Leads – ep. 4

“What’s that in her hand?” asked Lily.

Sally, diligently reached down and open the body’s closed fist. “It’s a roll-up, ma’am. Smells of weed.”

“Interesting,” pondered Lily, reaching down and bloodied rock. “Where did this come from?”

“The ground I imagine ma’am,” replied Sally. “It’s another potential murder weapon. She has blood on the back of her head, could have been blunt force trauma from the rock.”

“Make a note Sally,” said Lily. “Evidence she was stoned.”

Photo by Aperture Vintage on Unsplash

Feathered Kill

May 23, 2018 LittleFears40 Comments

Lost Leads – ep. 3

“What’s that?” asked Lily.

“Chicken feathers,” replied Sally. “Twenty-six bantam feathers to be exact. All of them piercing the skin around her kidneys.”

“So this could be a ritual murder,” said Lily.

“Certainly murder most fowl,” replied Sally.

Original photo by Timothy Eberly on Unsplash

Bashed Books

May 22, 2018 LittleFears45 Comments

Lost Leads – ep. 2

“Tell me about the body,” asked Lily.

“Well ma’am,” said Sally, “she appears to have received a dozen different injuries.”

“Such as?” asked Lily.

“Well to start with if you look here,” said Sally, “her eyes have been damaged by a blunt object. We suspect this was caused by this big book, found by her feet.”

Lily picked up the text, Chemistry For Beginners. “So, she was blinded by science.”

Original photo by Kiwihug on Unsplash

Cleaned Victim

May 21, 2018 LittleFears52 Comments

Lost Leads – ep. 1

“What have we got?” asked DCI Lily.

“A mass murder,” replied Inspector Sally. “With one victim.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “Go on.”

“Well ma’am,” replied Sally. “We have eight murder weapons with blood on. Six potential motives. A lot of blood on the walls and one body inside this apartment.”

Lily knelt next to the corpse. “What’s this inside her mouth?”

“The coroner believes it’s the contents of a vacuum cleaner bag,” replied Sally. “She’s unsure if that’s what caused her death.”

“Well, we know one thing,” sighed Lily. “She bit the dust.”

New story time! Woot, woot! Gave the video a slight update. Love my new end screen. I don’t mean to sound vain, but it looks awesome.

Look! Down there! New buttons! That’s a pleasant update. Need to clean up the Threadless button, but otherwise, much nicer than the old ones.

Also, I now have a Ko-Fi page instead of a PayPal tip jar. For those that fancy dropping me a few pennies but don’t like Patreon.

Against A Fence

May 16, 2018 LittleFears37 Comments

Grey Moon – Sunday (ep. 82)

“So here we are.”

“Yep.”

“Hang on.”

“There we go.”

“Oooooh!”

“OOOOOOH!”

“OH WOW! OH WOMAN, WOOOOW!”

“Crikey hun! You weren’t that good ten years ago!”

“YeAH aNd thIs feNCe wAsNt EleCtrifIeD TEN YeaRs AgOOoo!”

“Ack…”

Wood Posts

May 15, 2018 LittleFears25 Comments

Grey Moon – Sunday (ep. 81)

“That took some explaining,” laughed Saturn. “Hey look at that! They’ve done some work on the beer garden out back.”

“Yeah, that’s where we first did the business,” grinned Jessie.

“Yep, up against the fence at the back,” said Saturn. “Say. Wanna have a go there again. For old times sake.”

“Sure,” said Jessie. “I’m up for some beer garden nookies!”

“Hey, at least they replaced the rickety old wooden fence with a metal one,” said Saturn. “The splinters I got last time were a planetary pain in the arse!”

“Ah, yes,” laughed Jessie. “I remember you asking on a web forum about the best ways of removing wood splinters from your bum.”

“Yep,” grumbled Saturn. “Bad post…”

Second Time

May 10, 2018 LittleFears16 Comments

Grey Moon – Sunday (ep. 80)

“I always thought our second time together was better,” said Jessie. “Though that phone call we got afterwards was a funny one.”

“The woman who phoned me up screaming about what a dirty girl you were,” laughed Saturn. “How you’d split up her relationship by tempting her partner into bed…”

“I remember,” laughed Jessie. “I said ‘Hey you listen here! If the problem you have with your partner is so bad, you should tell them that!'”

“Yeah,” groaned Saturn. “Then you handed the phone to me…”

Stale Beer

May 9, 2018 LittleFears14 Comments

Grey Moon – Sunday (ep. 79)

“Ah, this place,” said Saturn.

“Yeah I thought you’d recognise it,” said Jessie.

“Our first night when we…” trailed off Saturn.

“Yeah,” grinned Jessie.

“Good call for a date,” said Saturn. “I was only in here the other day.”

“Same,” said Jessie. “I met Fuen and Yuffie here.”

“Odd there’s nobody here,” observed Saturn.

“It’s like the parrot themed club we visited that had no parrots in,” remarked Jessie.

“Yes,” recalled Saturn. “Pollygone.”

Racing Pigeons

May 8, 2018 LittleFears45 Comments

Grey Moon – Sunday (ep. 78)

“Do you fancy knocking off early, Reala?” asked Yuffie.

“Nothing’s going on here,” she replied.

“We’re gonna go watch the pigeon races, have a little flutter,” said Fuen.

“Ah, good,” said Reala, putting on her coat. “My aunt used to race pigeons.”

“Really?” asked Yuffie.

“Yeah,” said Reala. “I don’t know why. She never beat them.”

New Hat

May 7, 2018 LittleFears47 Comments

Capricorn (ep. 83)

“New hat?” asked Winston.

“Yeah,” said Charlie, twiddling his new trilby to the room. “Got it off an eBay house clearance for £1.20! It’s got a name tag for a Michael in it, but otherwise, it’s mint.”

“Reminds me of your old one,” said Winston.

“Yeah, that’s why I got it. Nostalgia grabbed me!” said Charlie. “Can I get you a drink?”

“Any chance I could have a Green Vesper?” asked Winston.

“Yeah sure,” said Charlie. Charlie had no idea how to make cocktails or mix drinks.

Michael did though.