
“Well,” said Sprite, “that wasn’t very polite!”
Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes

“Well,” said Sprite, “that wasn’t very polite!”

She was glad whatever was holding her ankle had let go. Her concern over the mud rising up and covering her body was still present though.

Lucy figured it was nice humankind had never realized the true value of diamonds.

“Plumber cleared the blockage in septic tank then left without saying a word. Didn’t take payment and won’t answer emails, texts or DMs on Twitter. Whistling noise now coming from pipes. Eight of ten I guess. Did the job, but I wouldn’t recommend.”
– Desmond’s Drains. Avg rating 7/10.

She watched the grains drop. Hoping for a blockage that never came. Knowing that when her time was up, she’d be in there with them.
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“Human life is precious,” she argued. “Besides which, they taste nicer than other farm animals.”
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As the star loomed closer, astronomers agreed, there could be worse fates than worlds colliding.
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The worst thing about insomnia is facing the night terrors while awake.
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“You’re not what I meant to summon,” she sighed. “But if you can make him disappear, you’ll do.”
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“I love you,” she said.
“Step closer,” it replied.
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