Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“What’s that smell?” asked Sally.
“Burning plastic,” replied Lily.
“The keyboards melting!” cried Sally.
“Darn,” grumbled Lily, watching the keys melt together.
“You must have hit a firewall,” moaned Sally.
Photo by Felix Russell-Saw on Unsplash
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“It looks like she’s angered a lot of people on the Internet,” said Sally.
“It seems that way,” said Lily. “Just look at her Twitter profile.”
“My word her spelling and grammar is awful,” noticed Sally.
“Oh, I hate spelling mistakes on social media,” moaned Lily.
“Me too,” replied Sally. “You mix up two letters and your tweet is urined.”
Photo by Andrea Reiman on Unsplash
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“It looks like she was planning a skydiving trip,” observed Lily.
“I’m too scared to go skydiving,” said Sally.
“Worried about the parachute not opening?” asked Lily.
“Definitely!” replied Sally.
“Well if it ever happens,” said Lily, “you’ll have the rest of your life to fix it.”
Photo by Danilo Batista on Unsplash
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“She’s got a few diet subscriptions service emails,” noticed Lily.
“I tried the almond diet recently,” said Sally.
“Oh, aye?” replied Lily. “How did that work out?”
“Eh,” moaned Sally. “It was nuts.”
“Sally, don’t make diet jokes,” sighed Lily.
“Sorry ma’am,” said Sally. “It was in poor taste.”
Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash
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“Let’s check her emails,” said Lily.
“What’s that one?” asked Sally.
“Household complaints,” replied Lily. “Looks like one of her neighbours has been playing loud music.”
“Oh, I had that,” moaned Sally. “Some bugger playing Lionel Ritchie at max volume.”
“I like Lionel,” said Lily.
“So do I,” sighed Sally. “But it was all night long…”
Photo by Jarosław Ceborski on Unsplash
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“Here we go,” said Lily.
“My word, that’s a lot of shopping websites in her history,” noticed Sally.
“Looking at her wish list,” said Lily, “I think she’s trying to build a model of Mt Everest.”
“To scale?” asked Sally.
“Nah, just to look at,” replied Lily.
Photo by samsommer on Unsplash
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June brings new things and exciting projects!
I’ve voiced my issues with the quality of Society6 T-shirts before. The main reason I went to Threadless for my shirts. However, their ancillary stuff is pretty good. Their phone cases are durable and the laptop sleeves are well padded. So I have moved a little to the left and opened a Society6 store. I’ll keep the shirts on Threadless only though as I feel the quality is far superior. You can visit both stores at the links below.
Society6: society6.com/littlefears
Threadless: littlefears.threadless.com
My good friends at Ann-William loved the title of an old post of mine, Villains and Birdsong. So much so, they’re writing a story about it. You can read a snippet HERE, and with a bit of luck, the complete story will be published this year and may eventually be turned into a novel. Nice. Also, they have just released a new book, Krissy’s Notebook, available now on Amazon.
Check them out at https://ann-william.com/
I’ve mentioned a few times I’m trying to get back to collaborating with people after the last few collabs collapsed, but it looks like this one may actually happen. Decided to pull in two people I knew well and narrow down a collab to a phrase. “It arrived.” My partners in crime for this collaboration are Layne and Forrest. If all goes well, we shall be publishing a piece of art or fiction next Sunday to the theme of “it arrived.”
Layne: chewing-on-glass.com
Forrest: forresting365.com
A lot of us blog, write and doodle because it’s what we love doing. But it’s nice to have our creations seen by others on the internet. Getting seen is something a lot of us struggle with. So my suggestion to folk this week who want to be seen is to ignore those articles like, “10 great things you must be doing on social media today”. Instead, grab 2-3 mates in the blogging or social media world. Get together and do a small collaboration.
Pick a theme, like ‘it arrived’ and each of you writes a post on that topic. Beauty blogger? Pick a brand of make-up that you all have and each of you can incorporate it into a look. Lifestyle blogger? Pick a tea brand, Instagram your cups and link to each other. Consider a 3-way interview, run it on Discord and invite people to join.
When you publish your posts, @ each other in your tweets, Instagrams and Facefungi.
I’d wager most of you would benefit more from getting together with fellow humans than reading another “top 10 social media trends” posts.
A helpful link, I wrote a huge post on collaborations a while back. You can read it here: littlefears.co.uk/2017/11/13/blog-collaborations/
And just a wee note, that if you love what I do and want to support the Little Fears, you can buy us a cuppa on ko-fi or pledge as little as $1 through Patreon. It’ll help me, help you, wake each morning with a groan and cry of pain as you read my woeful puns.
I’m not really selling the benefits there am I?…
Little Fears on Ko-Fi: ko-fi.com/littlefears
Little Fears on Patreon: patreon.com/littlefears
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“Is the anti-virus up to date?” asked Sally.
“It seems so,” said Lily.
“Gotta be careful about computer viruses ma’am,” said Sally.
“I know,” replied Lily. “I once had a virus on my desktop PC.”
“What was the cure?” asked Sally.
“An 80’s goth rock band,” replied Lily. “But that’s not important right now.”
Photo by Davids Kokainis on Unsplash
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“I’m in,” announced Lily as the laptop pinged to life.
“We should check her browsing history too, ma’am,” said Sally. “If there are any snake websites we’d know the hissy little git was hers.”
“Good thinking, Sally,” said Lilly. “Hmm, it doesn’t want to load any web pages.”
“Have you tried disabling cookies?” asked Sally.
“Well, I once bit the legs of a gingerbread man,” replied Lily.
Photo by Jordan Sanchez on Unsplash
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“Let me have a look,” said Lily, taking control of the laptop.
“Do you have a background in tech?” asked Sally.
“I once built an automated robot,” replied Lily. “It would talk about the weather while delivering small objects to friends and family.”
“Oh wow,” gasped Sally. “Sounds impressive!”
“Eh, I had to turn it off in the end,” grumbled Lily. “It would drone on and on.”
Photo by Mariano Rossi on Unsplash
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Little Fears 