Tag: writing

Yodelling Penguins

LittleFears59 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 26)

Three penguins shuffled into the bar. They stood in such a tightly formed line that when Reala looked at them from the front, it seemed like they were just one penguin.

“Erm,” started Reala, “hello?”

“‘Allo darling,” squeaked the first penguin. “We’re here for a yodelling lesson.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know of any yodelling lessons taught around here,” replied Reala.

“Darn,” said the penguin. “Then we formed an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue for nothing.”

~~~

How does a boomtish sound if performed in the key of yodel?

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Snow Slides

LittleFears36 Comments

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 25)

Reala was freezing. She was sat peering out of the window at three penguins on opposite side of the road.

The penguins then industriously made a snow slide and tried sliding down it. Being made of snow, it fell apart.

They then crossed the road and tried the slide in the Grey Moon beer garden.

Reala caught her breath. There was a punchline there.

~~~

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again. There are no depths I will not plumb for a groan!

Also, these penguins turn up in quite a few tales. My editor has declared them her spirit animals. I think I understand…

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Walks into a Bar

LittleFears32 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 24)

“I do have a concern,” said Reala.

“What’s that?” asked Yuffie.

“Yesterday an Englishwoman, Irishwoman and Scotswoman came in. Followed by a horse, a blonde, a priest and a rabbi,” said Reala. “I am very concerned…”

“With what?” asked Yuffie.

“That my life’s a joke…”

~~~

Oh my days, Reala, I feel ya!

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Giving Up

LittleFears41 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 23)

“Do any religious figures come through here?” asked Reala.

“Some, but we rarely speak to them,” said Yuffie.

“Have you ever given anything up for religion?” asked Fuen.

“Never,” replied Yuffie.

“I did once,” said Reala.

“Oh?” asked Jessie.

“Yeah,” said Reala. “I once gave up plucking my belly button for lint…”

~~~

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Fishing Woman

LittleFears28 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 22)

https://youtu.be/CzEtMaRnw2g
“How about the fisherwoman?” said Yuffie. “The one hunting Moby Dick.”

“Oh that poor gal,” said Fuen.

“What happened to her?” asked Reala.

“Died at the wailing wall,” said Fuen.

“Daft mistakes,” said Jessie. “I bet she felt like a right moron, standing there with her harpoon.”

~~~

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Closed Doors

LittleFears30 Comments

Capricorn – Little Horror (ep. 61)

He slams his fists on the door.

“Let me out ya’ wankers!” he screams.

The bulb swings gently above his head. His shadow shifts.

“At least gimme a room with a window!” he yells, giving the door a final bang.

The door gently opens into the cell. He steps back blinking back the tears. He breaks down, slamming his fist on the wall built behind the doorway.

~~~

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Gamer Girl

LittleFears36 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 21)

“I do remember the Buddhist IT manager,” said Fuen.

“Oh yeah,” said Yuffie. “The gamer girl right?”

“That’s the one,” said Fuen. “She died at the end of a 97-day online gaming spree when an 18 foot Mario and Luigi statue fell on top of her.”

“That’s a shame,” said Reala.

“She didn’t seem to mind,” said Jessie. “She had entered Nerdvana.”

~~~

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Elvis Lives

LittleFears33 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 20)

“Hey,” laughed Yuffie. “Do you remember the Elvis impersonator that came through a few months back?”

“The Arabian one?” asked Fuen.

“Yep,” replied Yuffie.

“She was pretty good,” said Fuen.

“What was she called?” asked Reala.

“Amal Shookup,” replied Yuffie.

~~~

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Damp Hands

LittleFears24 Comments

Capricorn (ep. 64)

She pressed the gun against his forehead and fired again. She had to be sure. She stood crying, sinking into the jacket she wore. It was his. It still had the smell of coconut hair pomade on the collar. She pressed the gun into the roof of her mouth. She took her eyes off the bite marks on his shoulder and arm. The boat tipped, rotten, bloated hands emerging from the water. A last shot.

~~~

Raaaawr! Zombies and boats! Oh hey, if death out at sea by giant intelligent sharks is your thing, Layne, Alex and I will be Twittering Deep Blue Sea this Saturday at 9 pm UK time. Fancy joining us? Grab a copy on your fave streaming service and hit us up on Twatter.

Alex @SynBoomstick 
Layne @Chew_On_Glass 
Peter @TheLittleFears

~~~

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Returning Humans

LittleFears19 Comments

Grey Moon – Tuesday (ep. 19)

“Have you ever had any humans go back?” asked Reala.

Yuffie and Fuen shifted uneasily.

“It has happened,” sighed Yuffie. “Sometimes an individual’s reputation is so powerful they never walk up the road.”

Reala nodded. “Anyone I may have heard of?”

“Maybe,” replied Yuffie. “Jack the Ripper. When Edmond Reid came through, he dragged Jack up the road. Even then some of his deeds live on as legends.”

“They linger here,” said Fuen. “Dead, unwanted and past their useful existence.”

“Like a career politician voted out of office,” sighed Jessie.

~~~

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