Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Why so glum?” asked Rice.
“I have Deaficus-Maximus,” sighed Red.
“What’s that?” enquired Rice.
“Means I’m going deaf,” replied Red.
“Oh dear!” exclaimed Rice. “Can you describe the symptoms?”
“Sure,” said Red. “Homer is fat and yellow, and Marge has blue hair.”
~
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“Ah,” said Algae, “but it was a good film.”
“Not sure I agree,” replied Aqua.
“It had a dinosaur and a spaceship,” said Algae.
“True,” said Aqua, “but I prefer ‘The Beavers in the Mist’.”
“Ahh,” agreed Algae. “Best dam movie we ever saw.”
~
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He knew what a woodlouse was. They were crustaceans. They were brown in colour. They ate dead plant matter. He thought they may like wood, but he’d never seen a wood louse eating wood. He knew they had a hard exoskeleton and he knew they were more active during the night.
What he didn’t know was why so many of them were crawling out from under his fingernails.
~
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“How do I get to the beach?” asked Horror.
“Take the elevator,” replied Hill.
“Elevator?” asked Horror. “Very disappointing.”
“How so?” asked Hill.
“I always find they let me down,” sighed Horror.
“Funny,” said Hill. “I find them quite uplifting.”
~
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“I am afraid to say,” said Spider, “I think your father ran off to join a cult.”
“Not Dad,” said Blue, “he only believes in atheism.”
“What’s atheism?” asked Yellow.
“A non-prophet organisation,” replied Pink.
~
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“Funny ‘ole fella Red,” said Merman.
“He’s like a fine wine,” replied Serpent.
“You mean he gets better as he gets older?” asked Merman.
“No…” sighed Serpent. “He’s like the sour grapes you had to stomp the crap out of until you had something acceptable to have dinner with…”
~
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The crocodile rolled, the smell of blood and fear hung heavily in the water.
He felt the tug as his leg ripped from his body. He stared up at the surface for an eternity.
Another bite. The remaining leg. Tumble, rip, spin.
The crocodile knew letting humans evolve this far had been a mistake.
~
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As many of you know, I’m planning a house move in the coming months. I got offered a few weeks consultancy at my old firm and took the opportunity to boost my income for a few weeks. I’m actually enjoying it. With the knowledge that it’s temporary, I can relax more about my commute. I don’t start until 10 am and I leave at 5 pm. My relationship has changed with everyone there too. It’s easier stepping back in 6 months after leaving for a couple of weeks than it was seeing the same people in the daily grind.
Attack of the killer day job. A short life event where the hero will survive.
In the meantime, I have stopped pushing the Little Fears a touch and gone looking on Skillshare for some marketing courses to use a lil info from when I finish at the day job and get back into writing.
Storytelling Basics: How Creatives and Brands Can Build a Following
The first one I tried was a course by Stephanie Pereira from Kickstarter. This is a free course and it’s not bad. She discusses defining your audience and finding them on the net. Something I often forget. I certainly need to look out for reading and writing communities other than those on WordPress.
Instagram Best Practices: Grow Your Community, Work with Brands
The second course I watched was by Tyson Wheatley, a well-known photographer on Instagram. It’s premium, but if you pay as little as $0.99 you get 3 months full access to every course on Skillshare. The guy knows his stuff. He covers apps to use to edit photos, creating a synergy between your images and growing your following.
Instagram is a bit of a sticking point for me. I have nearly 1300 followers there, but I do not post daily and I am always unsure of the best way to link posts there back to the LittleFears.co.uk home. Growing the community isn’t the problem for me there, it’s what to do with it when I have it. I shall be trying a few more courses before the week is out. Would be nice to have a fresh plan for when I return to the Fears next week.
“What’s that Aqua?” asked Girl.
“New joke,” replied Aqua.
“Oh god,” whimpered Girl.
“It’s got a punchline about chemistry,” said Aqua.
“May I hear it?” asked Girl, for reasons unknown.
“Nah,” said Aqua, “it won’t get a reaction.”
~
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“Well he was a bit odd,” said Fuen.
“In what way?” asked Yuffie.
“When I said I was in the mood for chicken, he gave me an origami bird made from paper,” sighed Fuen.
“Ah,” replied Yuffie. “Well, Red once gave me a statue made entirely of gaffer tape.”
“Blimey!” said Fuen.
“I didn’t like it at first,” said Yuffie, “but then I got attached to it…”
~
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Little Fears 