Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“I tried taking up jogging,” sighed Serpent.
“Oh I use a fit-bit,” said Fuen.
“I got into jogging because of a fitness app,” said Serpent.
“Oh?” asked Fuen.
“Yeah, I entered my diet into a healthy eating app,” sighed Serpent. “It sent an ambulance.”
“I quite like Google,” said Reala.
“I cannot stand it,” replied Fuen.
“Oh?” asked Reala.
“It reminds me of my ex,” sighed Fuen.
“How so?” pushed Reala.
“It won’t let me finish a sentence without making suggestions,” sighed Fuen.
“It is amazing,” said Yuffie, gently breathing out and bending her knees.
“I think it’s the Chi,” said Fuen. “It gives me a warm and tingly feeling.”
“Warm and tingly,” muttered Clouds. “You mean like the warm and tingly you feel when you are in love?”
“Nono,” said Yuffie. “That’s common sense leaving your body.”
“I see Hydra,” said Reala. “You are applying for the job?”
“Yes yes,” said Hydra, handing over the application.
“Hmmm,” mumbled Reala, reading the appalling handwriting. “Whats this?”
“Wossat?” asked Hydra.
“Under the line ‘Incase of emergency, whom should we contact?” said Reala.
Hydra looked at the paper and squinted. “A good doctor,” he replied.
“Oh dear, she’s so funny sometimes,” chuckled Spectre.
“Is it just daft choices she makes?” asked Sprite.
“Yep,” grinned Spectre.
“Ahhh now I wouldn’t do that,” said Yuffie.
“Hmm?” asked Spectre.
“Laugh at your missus choices,” said Yuffie.
“Why not?” asked Spectre.
“Well,” replied Yuffie, “you are one of them…”
“So why did he leave you at the side of the road?” asked Yuffie.
“He said I was a pain,” grumbled Hydra.
“How so?” asked Yuffie.
“Because I couldn’t figure out how to put my seat belt on,” moaned Hydra.
“Well that’s petty,” snorted Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Hydra. “Then it clicked.”
~
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“The hold music was driving me crazy,” said Blue.
“I’m not surprised,” laughed Black.
“They didn’t fix it in the end either,” moaned Blue.
“Did the sea life centre keep a copy of the call?” asked White.
“Oh yes,” replied Blue. “They record all calls for training porpoises.”
~
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“Well I didn’t know,” sighed Black.
“Pretty daft question tho bro,” replied Blue.
“What’s that?” asked White.
“I’d heard of an old film about a whale that swam about with no pants on,” replied Black.
“Aye?” asked White, “what’s it called?”
Blue smirked. “Free Willy.”
~
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“I’m pretty sure my neighbour is stalking me,” said White.
“What makes you say that?” asked Fuen.
“Well I saw him Googling my name on his mobile phone,” said White.
“Oh,” replied Fuen. “Where was that?”
“In his bedroom,” said White. “I saw it with my infrared night sight telescope. At 3 am. It was kinda hard to see through the crack in his curtains…”
~
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“Urgh, I have another session today,” grumped Cloud.
“What with?” asked Cloud.
“My therapist,” sighed Cloud.
“What are you seeing a therapist for?” asked Cloud.
“He says I have a preoccupation with revenge,” said Cloud. “We’ll see about that…”
~
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Little Fears 