
“So weak I can’t pull up an ear of corn, eh?” he sighed.
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Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes

“So weak I can’t pull up an ear of corn, eh?” he sighed.
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She watched the grains drop. Hoping for a blockage that never came. Knowing that when her time was up, she’d be in there with them.
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“She might look a bit funny, but trust me,” he sighed, “if your name ain’t down, you ain’t getting in.”
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“Hey dad,” said the child, “look at the size of them!”
“I know,” replied the father. “Tiny, aren’t they?”

Suspended in the air, Sprite looked down and sighed as history repeated itself. This was exactly how his last relationship had ended.
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“Human life is precious,” she argued. “Besides which, they taste nicer than other farm animals.”
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As the star loomed closer, astronomers agreed, there could be worse fates than worlds colliding.
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The worst thing about insomnia is facing the night terrors while awake.
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“You’re not what I meant to summon,” she sighed. “But if you can make him disappear, you’ll do.”
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Over the screams of terrified sprites, the beast did growl, “excuse me bruv, may I have a roast chestnut?”
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