Wire

Another Spectre stepped out of the ocean, screamed, then sunk into the sand.

“This is Sprites doing,” sighed Lucy. “I just know it is.”

“He’s obsessed with getting Spectre back, aye?” asked Jelly.

“Yeah,” grumbled Lucy. “He should have left it alone and gone back to his wife. She’s just come home from working in an internet cafe in Australia.”

“I see,” remarked Cuttle. “She comes from a LAN down under…”

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Gym

“I’ve just broken up with Desmond,” sighed Jelly.

“The gym trainer?” asked Lucy. “What happened?”

“Oh, you know,” sighed Jelly. “We just weren’t working out.”

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Spectres

Spectres began stepping out of the ocean. They’d cry out for help before sinking into the sand.

“Well, that’s not good,” said Jelly.

“No, it’s not,” sighed Cuttle. “But do you know what is good? The new machine they have at the gym.”

“I’ve heard it does everything,” interrupted Lucy.

“Oh, it does,” said Cuttle. “Snickers, Mars, Dairy Milks, the lot!”

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Pint

“When was the last time you saw her?” asked Jelly.

“When I took her to the pub,” replied Lucy. “The barman asked I wanted a beer for my wife.”

“That doesn’t sound like a fair swap,” pondered Parrotfish.

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Oasis

“Are you ever going back to your wife?” asked Cuttle. “Or are you going just going to avoid her forever?”

“I tried calling her,” sighed Lucy. “I made things worse by singing Oasis songs to her, though.”

“She asked you to stop, and I bet you didn’t,” said Jelly.

“Well,” said Lucy. “I said maybe…”

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Veg

“She’s not vegetarian is she?” asked Jelly.

“I don’t think so,” pondered Lucy. “I had to cook for a vegan martial arts film star once.”

“I might know the guy,” said Jelly. “Broco Lee?”

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Meals

“Nice,” said Lucy. “When I return home, I’m hoping to cook my missus a special meal.”

“I see,” said Jelly. “Is that what’s in the bag?”

“Yeah,” replied Lucy. “I just bought eight legs of venison for £120.”

“I think that’s two deer,” replied Jelly.

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