Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“A what ‘thon’?” asked Sally.
“Sally, are you going deaf?” asked Lily.
“A little,” sighed Sally. “But only in one ear, ma’am.”
“What ear is it?” asked Lily.
“2018,” replied Sally.
Photo by Florencia Potter on Unsplash
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
‘As the mayor’s skin turned to seed, he pleaded, one last time. The pigeon shaman ignored his cries. The flock arrived. Hungry.’
The pigeon shaman, the avian avenger, taking out her fury on the poor fella for his anti-pigeon measures. She’s also taking her Fears to both a Threadless and Etsy store near you!
Little Fears on Etsy: etsy.com/uk/shop/LittleFears
Little Fears on Threadless: littlefears.threadless.com
As she’s a new release, and I adore her, you can message me below or email me at fears@gmx.co.uk to get her A4 print for just £8 + P&P. Offer ends Saturday, June 9th.
You may also know that Seeking Hydras cover has returned to my Etsy store this week.
And do you know what? As I’m using up my entire year’s marketing quota in just one post, I’m also going to link to the book this image came from. Seeking Hydra.
Seeking Hydra is available on Amazon for £4.99 for an ebook or £12 in print. And gosh darn it, does it have a sexy cover. Feel free to judge.
Amazon link: amzn.to/2xu57T0
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
A return to the astrological characters this week for #Colour_Collective. Aries the ram. She’s a colourful lil Fear, and I always wanted to return to her and re-shape her body.
Ooo, yes! And speaking of astrological signs, Virgo is now available on my Etsy store.
Grrr! Lookin pretty villainous there, missy!
Etsy link: etsy.com/uk/shop/LittleFears
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
Lily cocked her head, “did you hear that?”
“A hissing,” replied Sally, “where’s it coming from?”
Lily opened the cupboard. “Cripes, a snake!”
Sally grabbed a broom for protection. “Is it a dangerous breed?”
“Well,” said Lily, “it looks like the snake is exactly 3.14 metres long.”
“What’s that mean?” asked Sally.
“It’s a pi-thon,” replied Lily.
Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“What else have the team found?” asked Lily.
“There’s a body in the freezer ma’am,” replied Sally, leading Lily through to the kitchen.
“My word,” said Lily. “She’s crammed in there. Any signs of what killed her?”
“Not that we can easily see,” replied Sally. “She’s been in there a while. Frozen solid.”
“Well I guess,” sighed Lily, “this is a cold case.”
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“Is there anything missing?” asked Lily.
“We’re not sure,” replied Sally. “We found some empty boxes in her bedroom.”
“I see,” said Lily, wandering through to the bedroom.
“Small jewellery boxes on the dresser ma’am,” said Sally. “H. R. Maguffin Jewelers. A diamond specialist if I recall the name correctly. All boxes are empty.”
“Seems the motive is crystal clear,” pondered Lily.
Photo by Cheryl Winn-Boujnida on Unsplash
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“The window,” said Lily. “Was it open when you arrived?”
“Yes it was,” replied Sally.
“I see there are policemen fishing something out of the pool below,” observed Lily.
“Shares ma’am,” stated Sally, thumbing through her notes. “She’d invested heavily in swimming pool manufacturers.”
“Well it would appear,” said Lily, “her stocks dived.”
Photo by Adrien Siami on Unsplash
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“It looks like there was a struggle,” observed Lily.
“Aye,” agreed Sally. “There must have been a tussle by the sideboard.”
“A smashed lamp,” noticed Lily. “Change and jewellery tray scattered on the floor. Scraps of a painting.”
“Was the painting in anything?” pondered Sally.
“There are bits of broken wood between here and the body,” said Lily.
“So the victim’s been framed,” replied Sally.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
For this weeks colour collective, I really wanted to use my orange bug. It didn’t work in my portrait format though. So we get creative! I double up on his legs so they look like little tentacles and gave him a standing body. A little unnerving, but my bright orange bug works well as a head…
A quick shout out to my friend Rose, over at Magpie at Midnight, who has just signed up to support my over on Patreon.
If you love the Little Fears and you have a few pennies to buy me a coffee, you can hit the buttons below to sponsor me on Patreon or tip me on Ko-Fi. Donations are currently going towards paying off Yuffies bail after she was arrested for raising the dead and making them dance to 80s pop songs.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“Ah,” said Sally, “the pizza expert here.”
“Pan,” she said shaking Sally’s hand. “Deep pan. Pizza crime specialist.”
“Ma’am, we found melted cheese on the victim’s body,” said Sally.
“I see,” said Lily, watching Pan inspect the dairy. “Cant you tell us anything?”
“Well, it’s cheddar,” said Pan. “From a pizzeria. Organic. Pretty fresh. It’s been shredded into little pieces.”
“Sounds grate,” replied Sally.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
Little Fears 