Bridge

“I saw a doctor the other week because I thought I was a bridge,” said Whisp.

“Oh aye,” replied Yuffie.

“He said ‘good grief, man what’s come over you?'” said Whisp.

“Oh God,” said Yuffie.

“I said two cars, a truck and a coach,” grinned Whisp.

~

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Dog

“I went to a psychiatrist once,” said Bush.

“Why’s that?” asked Shrub.

“Because I thought I was a dog,” said Bush.

“What happened?” asked Shrub.

“Well I got there, and she told me to sit on the couch so we could talk about it,” said Bush. “I said I couldn’t because I wasn’t allowed on the furniture…”

~

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Butchers

Butcher slammed his cleaver into the board.

“I understand,” he rasped. “I was never meant to see inside.”

Deliveryman nodded. “Well, I’m sorry you did.”

Butcher handed Deliveryman the scissors.

Deliveryman grinned. Tongue on sale tomorrow.

~

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Trick or Treat

“It’s odd though,” said Stephi. “Not one other child.”

“Maybe trick or treat just isn’t a thing in English villages,” replied Dean.

They ushered their offspring to the next house. Knocking on the door, calling a cheerful “trick or treat!”

The door creaked open, revealing a trail of blood to a pile of empty sweet wrappers, waiting to be filled.

~

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