fiction – Page 39 – Little Fears

Egypt Kitty

July 11, 2018 LittleFears43 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 3

“She’s tried building piles of cat soft toys before ma’am,” said Sally.

“I see,” replied Lily. “How big has she made them in the past?”

“One hundred metres tall. I have a photo of the last one from her case file,” said Sally, handing Lily the photo.

“You see this?” asked Lily. “This pile has four flat sides getting smaller the higher the pile goes. See? A sharp point at the top.”

“What does that mean?” asked Sally.

“Looks like a purramid to me,” replied Lily.

Photo by Billy Pasco on Unsplash

Thank you for joining me for today’s tale. We have a new t-shirt in our Threadless store this week as Botanica arrived. I can say for certain that Threadless provide top quality shirts, but I cannot guarantee she’s not going to plant killer carnivorous plants in your garden if you wear her while digging up weeds. Sorry about that.

https://littlefears.threadless.com/

Soft Toys

July 10, 2018 LittleFears39 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 2

“A cat burglar aye?” asked Lily. “Are banks her usual M.O?”

“Not usually ma’am,” replied Sally. “But she’s trying to either buy or steal every soft cat toy in these lands.”

“Cat soft toys?” asked Lily, grabbing her car keys. “Too what end?”

“Word on the street says shes wants the biggest pile of cat toys the world has ever seen,” said Sally. “She’s a sick deviant that should be locked up for life if you ask me.”

“Now, now,” said Lily. “There’s no need to make a meowtain out of a molehill.”

Photo by Patrick König on Unsplash

Thank you for joining me for today’s tale. If you love the Little Fears waking you with a daily groan, please consider buying us a cuppa over at Ko-Fi. It takes copious amounts of tea to maintain this level of cheap humour and doodles. Thank you.

https://ko-fi.com/littlefears

Cracked Vault

July 9, 2018 LittleFears41 Comments

Chasing Leads – ep. 1

“Ma’am,” said Sally, as she entered DCI Lily’s office.

“Inspector,” replied Lily looking up from her desk.

“A call has come in ma’am,” said Sally. “First Account, our local high street building society, has had its vault cracked and cleaned out.”

“Any suspects?” asked Lily, reaching for her coat.

“It has the hallmarks of the famous cat burglar of South London,” said Sally. “Robyn Banks.”

Photo by Alesia Kazantceva on Unsplash

A new story, a new crime, a new villain and the return of DCI Lily and Inspector Sally!

Living Cars

July 6, 2018 LittleFears57 Comments

Living Cars

Life (Ep. 0 of -1)

“It’s not alive,” she grumbled.

“It is,” claimed the Illustrator. “Look, see, two eyes and a mouth. It’s smiling at us.”

“Clouds don’t wave at us, bulldog clips don’t bite us and that car has no emotions. Inanimate objects can’t smile,” she moaned.

The illustrator furrowed his brow.

She threw her hands up. “I give up. How do you do it?” she asked walking away. “How do you anthropomorphize everything you see into a stupid doodle or story?”

The illustrator looked at the car.

The car looked back.

“How do you not?” sighed the illustrator.

Heading Home

July 5, 2018 LittleFears42 Comments

Heading Home

Social Fears (Ep. 4 of 4)

“Gonna fly home mate,” said Fuen.

“It’s been a long month,” sighed Yuffie.

“With no internet,” noted Fuen. “Can’t wait to get in and check my email.”

“Yeah, and I need to upload these snaps to Ello,” said Yuffie.

“You know you’re home,” pondered Fuen, “when the Wi-Fi connects automatically.”

Get Fit

July 4, 2018 LittleFears46 Comments

Get Fit

Social Fears (Ep. 3 of 4)

“Brah,” said Spectre, “what a run!”

“I know right,” said Sprite. “I’m knackered.”

“Taking a selfie?” asked Spectre.

“Oh yes,” replied Sprite. “Gotta tweet goals, man.”

“Innit,” replied Spectre. “All this working out would be such a waste of time if we didn’t tell internet strangers we were doing it.”

Apologies for this coming stupendously late today. Having to do some in-house work this week to keep the cash flow moving.

Following Reala

July 3, 2018 LittleFears38 Comments

Following Reala

Social Fears (Ep. 2 of 4)

“Grey Moon pub,” said Reala, answering the phone.

“Hello Reala,” said Bug.

“Ahh, Bug,” said Reala. “My biggest fan on social media.”

“Yep,” said Bug. “It’s me. Listen, I’m calling because Instagram’s down today.”

“And I can help, how?” asked Reala.

“Well,” sighed Bug, “I just can’t start my day without knowing what you had for breakfast this morning…”

Ello Ello

July 2, 2018 LittleFears13 Comments

Ello Ello

Social Fears (Ep. 1 of 4)

“Have you heard about these influencer humans?” asked Ello.

“I have,” replied Fuen.

“Did you know,” pondered Ello, “some of them get paid sponsorship fees upwards of five hundred pounds to mention brands in their posts?”

“Wow,” said Fuen. “That’s almost as crazy as the prices in the DFS summer sale.”

This post is not sponsored. Though if Ello or DFS want to contact me, leave a comment?

A wee break from Lily and Sally this week. Thoroughly enjoyed posting the first 30 tales long story. Six weeks of the intrepid duo already! They’ll be back for their second case next week when a cat burglar comes to town. The first storyline was inspired by murder mysteries in the vein of Poirot. The next story takes after buddy cop TV shows. Gotta love the Sweeney. “You’re nicked, mate!” BOSH! Shaking down suspects, fast cars, plot twists and surly witnesses.

While I prepare the next set of videos and get things scheduled, I have four tales of interwebs related humour followed by a tale of ponderance from the illustrator. I do hope you enjoy.