“The eyes have,” cried the speaker. “The eyes have it.”
The members of the house remained quiet, unable to watch as wooden hands emerged from the front bench, dragging her in. She let out a scream, silenced as her throat turned to wood.
The speaker looked to the empty place on the bench where the Prime Minister had sat. The fallen ministers returning his gaze. “The eyes have it,” he sighed.
As with all wee cards this week, The original drawing of The Eyes Have It is available on Etsy for £5. Linky: littlefears.etsy.com
After three years of cocking up and Brexit, the unelected Prime Minister, Theresa May, has finally been forced out by her own party. There are only two good things about her tenure. First, it takes grit to stand up and give speeches with that many knives sticking out of her back. Second, she’s better than Boris Johnson, who’s poised to take her position.
Hmm, that’s not really good things is it? Oh well, another squatter evicted from 10 Downing Street.
For those outside the UK who may not get the ‘eyes have it’ reference. ‘The ayes have it’ is a phrase used by the Speaker, Mr John Bercow, during parliament after vote results.
Aha, those that follow me on social media may have noticed a change this weekend. I have been busy, yo! I’ve doodled up a new avatar for myself. It’s a self-portrait of sorts. Yes, I have small eyes, look generally confused and have a fabulous moustache.
I’ve also changed the header banners on all of my social platforms to Spider lurking behind a rocky outcrop. It’s a bit more ‘me’ than a vanilla ‘Little Fears’ written on a plain white background. I never liked that banner. I was just too lazy to change it.
I’ll be trying a more comic-format this week for the Fears. I’ve tried this before. It’s never quite worked. I got a pile of blank Strathmore ATC’s, and I’d like to do something interesting with them. So this week I’ll be applying my macro doodles to micro cards and giving them the typical Fears tales you all know. Just in an even shorter form.
If you enjoy this week’s panels, please do let me know. If you hate them and want wordier stories back, also let me know. Finally, if you simply want to declare your love of fuzzy llamas with moustaches, please do let me know!
As the fungi continued their tirade of abuse, Poofball did declare, “screw this crap, I ain’t taking yo’ shit any longer.” Forsooth, she did sprout a pair of legs, and she did feck off to a nicer place, with most pleasant mushrooms.
I’m with ya, Poofball. Fo real!
I’m grateful I never have to deal with haters. Arguments online always look so pointless. On the rare occasions that they involve me (three in over 20 years of internet usage), I treat them with utter indifference.
Of my three encounters with drama llamas, one abused me for days before disappearing altogether when he realised I wasn’t the person he thought I was (lol). Another one I saw abusing other people, so I blocked and ignored him. Three months later he realised I blocked him, he kicked off and got himself blocked and ignored by people he was fuming too, about me.
The third one was back when I released Grey Moon. A minor drama where someone assumed the 100% female cast was a parody or satire of lefties. I told him it wasn’t and couldn’t understand how he’d drawn that conclusion. He wrote some negative reviews announcing I’d become too SJW. And that was that. Arguing was not going to change anything, so I ignored him. His blog has since vanished from WordPress.
Side note on that, Grey Moons cast was all female because I wanted to write a story about three characters in a pub. Fuen, Yuffie and Reala felt like perfect characters for that story. The rest of the cast were female by mistake. I just kept writing ‘she’ when referring to the penguins and llama that visited the bar.
The Lost Leeds series was all female thanks to the main characters being based on my two dogs, Lily and Sally. The supporting cast was female thanks to pun names such as Molly Cule the chemist and Robyn Banks the thief.
Brass’ cast was all female because, well, I don’t know. Nor do I care. At no point did I make a casting choice based on the gender of a character. Take any post in all of those stories 300’ish tales, and tell me what difference it would make replacing any character with a male counterpart. I can save you some time there, and say ‘none’.
The point of all that tangent being, even the reason the guy cried “Peter is an SJW,” was misplaced. Not only would me responding to the guy be pointless, but his entire argument with me was irrelevant in the first place.
Internet abuse man, it such a waste of pixels.
With all that said, I do understand some folks cannot ignore the online abuse they take. People, young and old, often don’t know how to deal with digital bullying and women get it at least ten times harder than men.
So if you’re taking abuse online and you don’t know how to deal with it, check out the Cybersmile Foundations website. Their help centre has information on everything from doxing to mental health and even legal perspectives. https://www.cybersmile.org
For parents and children, the NSPCC has some information on cyberbullying and they have people you can talk too. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/
Also, a quick shout out to Julie Reeser. A long time Fears’er who’s hosting a panel later this month on Social Media Gone Wrong. You can see her schedule HERE, her Patreon HERE and her Twitter HERE.
Not sure how to end this post, so a dog-Latin quote from the British Army during World War II.
I’ve often said, it’s hard earning a living from an online blog or business. The real money comes from the real world and paying clients. Earning entirely from the Internet can be done, but it’s something most of us won’t ever achieve.
My art prints for example. I can take them to market stalls with greetings cards and earn more in a day than my Etsy store earns in weeks. That’s partly my fault for not promoting it enough, and, from the feedback I’ve gotten, it’s also the price.
At markets, I sell them for £12. On Etsy, they’re £15. The reason for the price jump is post and packaging. You have to offer free shipping or Etsy dumps you down in search. I have to incorporate a max of £4.20 into every sale. That’s the shipping to the USA cost. I have hard backed envelopes cost, listing fees, print cost and transaction fees on top of that. Expenses stack up quickly selling Etsy. All that compared to a market stall, £10 for a day, sell as much as I can.
But look at my Etsy shop. Two years and thirty’ish sales. Actually, ignore my shop, that says fourteen. There was a digital hiccup and I lost feedback and sales last year. All the same, you get me? My Etsy store is just sitting dormant.
So, with listing fees needing to be renewed for the next three months, I’ve taken a view. Revised things a bit. The prices on all art prints have been dropped from £15 to £12 including free shipping to anywhere in the world. I also need to start working at my Etsy store. Not just dropping links to it in posts, but getting new art things on there. New original art, ACEOs, new prints like the “Drink Tea” design I have on Threadless. Not just more character images, because they just aren’t cutting it online.
This post might read like a bit of a downer, but it isn’t. I have probably broken even between sales, shipping and listing fees over the last couple of years on Etsy. So it’s cost me nothing to find out selling on Etsy doesn’t work unless you work it hard. That’s fine by me. Lessons in life, business and the Internet are rarely free.
If you fancy visiting my now slightly cheaper Etsy store, hit the following link: littlefears.etsy.com
If you want to get into Etsy yourself, I cannot recommend Melanie Greenwoods course on Skillshare enough. It’s three hours long and covers, quite literally, everything.
It is a premium course, but if you click my link to it, I believe you get two free months of Skillshare premium. https://skl.sh/2kvcAJi
I do like to have something playing in the background while I doodle, write and blog. Bonus points for something educational for the grey-matter to absorb.
A browse of Skillshare this week and I found three free courses on freelancing. Figure there’s enough artists, writers and freelancers out there following for them to be a helpful share.
They are all 100% free. Just follow any links to the website, sign up, skip anything that asks you for money, and yay, free courses. If you do subscribe to Skillshare, you can get a two-month trial for $0.99 with no obligation to continue which gives you access to thousands of courses on every subject you could imagine.
Now more than ever, we live in a freelance world. Eager to take the plunge or level up your own freelance game? Join Working Not Working‘s Justin Gignac and Claire Wasserman for a 50-minute dive into the essentials of going it on your own.
Each video lesson shares stories, examples, and tips to spark your thinking about ways to seek out the work you want — and draw work back to you. You’ll leave inspired to:
Develop a strong body of work with a clear mission and side projects
Craft a portfolio that catches a recruiter’s eye
Market yourself on social media
Pitch traditional media
Seize opportunities for authentic networking
Set yourself up for financial success
This class is meant to be an overview, laying the foundation for going freelance and all the things to consider. The goal is to empower, enlighten, educate, and arm everyone with the itch to go freelance!
The secret to becoming a successful freelancer? It all starts with bookkeeping — and it’s easier than you think!
You don’t have to be a math wiz or budding accountant to better understand and manage your business’s revenue and expenses. In this easy-to-follow class, Bench’s Emily Simcox demystifies bookkeeping and provides you with the tools you need to take control of your finances. Emily’s straightforward, step-by-step process will help you understand your options and plan your next steps with ease.
You’ll learn how to:
Choose the right bookkeeping method for your business
Easily categorize and track your expenses
Stay organized throughout the year
Whether you’re a freelancer getting ready to invoice your first client or a small business owner looking to organize your business’s spending and expenses, you’ll gain an arsenal of tools to help you streamline your finances and optimize your bookkeeping. After taking this class, you’ll be better positioned to make decisions with confidence, grow your business, and focus on the work that matters.
Join ANDCo’s Oliver Ginsburg for a step-by-step guide to the logistics of freelancing. Whether you’re new to freelance or have years of experience, you’ll learn essential tips and tricks to help you run the behind-the-scenes aspects of your business. From writing legally binding contracts to navigating your taxes, discover the tips, tools, and techniques that will take your freelance work to new heights.
Key lessons include:
Taking your first steps: Choosing your business entity and picking a name
Writing legally binding contracts
How (and when) to find professional help
Pricing your work & getting paid
Understanding expenses and write-offs
Paying your taxes
Every lesson is packed with facts, resources, and expertise compiled from the experts at ANDCo. Whether you’re a side-hustler for life or a full-time freelancer, these lessons will help you build a solid business from the ground up, allowing you to be your own boss, create your own path, and focus on the work you love.
Some further lessons, thoughts and misc wotsits on the Little Fears Sunday collabs. It’s a long, but maybe an educational post for any bloggers wanting to collaborate with each other. Some links to start with, for reference.
Straight up, I screwed this up so badly. On the initial posting, I had over 100 people email me. I reckon about 20 will follow through, but I got lost in the first barrages of emails. I know of at least three people that I’ve left hanging that I need to speak too. Liz, I was meant to send a story. Anonyole and Willow I was meant to send an image for approval. One of them has been waiting for two weeks. I just keep forgetting to do it because my I took on too much. I tried noting names on pen and paper. That only worked for so long.
This was confounded because I initially said, hit me up on social media or email. So I had messages coming from every direction. It wasn’t like I could just search my emails because I had DMs everywhere. Doh!
I’ve come to the conclusion I should use a spreadsheet. Four columns, name, email, website and collab progress. I can’t do that on previous collab contacts because then I’m collecting data. To do that I’d have to include a GDPR notice in the initial email stating what data I’m collecting, what I will do with it and how will I protect it. That’s something I’ll definitely do going forward.
Usernames, pen names and real names
My focus on always referring to peoples pen names has confused a few folks. It’s another thing I need to add to the initial email.
People post under pen names for a variety of reasons. The embarrassment that they write fan-fics. Not wanting family or friends to see their art. Hiding from a nutty ex-partner. Or sometimes, they just want to be identified as someone else. An imaginary online-persona. All valid reasons to respect someone’s username.
Privacy is darn near non-existent, online and real life, nowadays. What little control we have over privacy we should try to respect.
So if someone leaves comments on my website under the username AlphaDog345 but emails me under the name Robert, I’ll do my best to refer to them as AlphaDog345 unless corrected.
WordPress scheduling
I was asked by Nobbin how we could synchronize posts and link to each other’s stories ahead of time. Well, in WordPress Gutenberg, when you make a post you get a little link icon next to the post name. Click on that, and you can copy the URL of scheduled posts.
Videos pre-schedule
I’ve explained why I’m sticking with WordPress Gutenberg before, despite my straight up hate for it. But one issue that’s been noticed is that I can’t schedule videos that haven’t been published on YouTube already without resorting to classic blocks. There is no workaround in current Gutenberg because it’s crap. So I end up with classic blocks in my HTML or I leave it until 9 am, then post everything.
This has meant, when one collaborator copy pasted my entire post it came out janky as heck on their own site. It’s also meant most of my posts are never bang on 9 am.
#PeterHatesWordPress5.0GutenbergEditor
I think in future I’ll change my initial email to read “around 9 am,” unless someone wants to sync posts. Then I’ll pre-post the video so the URL is usable in WordPress.
Story length
Oh man, haha. Yeah. We had a laugh there. I’m flexible on the 512 character limit. I just didn’t want people writing essay-length stories. Not only would they not fit or work on the Little Fears, but I want the collaborations to be fast and fun. Not tireless hours of work.
This was taken to an extreme by an ex-subscriber, who sent me a chapter of a book he claimed was a short story. Some back and forth and he ended up saying he was trialling me to narrate his entire novel. For free. In the spirit of collaboration.
Yeah… No…
Got a bit pissy when I said I’d have to charge for that amount of work. Anyone who’s ever done audio work will tell you, it takes a staggering amount of time to record, edit, re-record and check through even short stories. A novel would take me a full working week. At least!
I find a lot of folks are up collaborations when asked. But try to be respectful of others time, aye?
Already published stories
I was asked by Ederren on the briefs post if I’d do stories that were already published. Eventually, yes. I’d love to narrate some of the funny stories and creepypastas I’ve read. Especially if they fit well.
Right now though, I’m getting my feet with collaborations. As you can see from this post, I still have refining to do. The initial email explosions died down now, but I got a lot of people submitting any old random story. Out of 40 stories sent to me without an email convo/brief first, maybe 5 worked for the Fears.
Taking submissions for pre-written poetry and fiction is something I need to work into the initial email. It all comes down being specific from the start. Otherwise, writers sending submissions and I are just wasting each others time.
So, pre-written stories. In the future, yes, but not yet.
As you can see, I’m still refining my process. If you’re interested in collaborating with me, drop me an email to Peter at fears@gmx.co.uk
Want to support me in some way?
In the mean tie, if you love what I do, and fancy supporting me in some way, you can buy me a cuppa on Ko-Fi. Nobble one of my tees on Threadless. Buy one of my books on Amazon. Grab an original art or a print on my Etsy. Or, hit me up on Patreon for as little as $1 a month.
Tomorrow, we pun again. It didn’t quite feel right posting puns immediately after yesterdays retrospective on Brass, age-related memory changes and dementia.
Copper and Iron will return in future stories. I haven’t written them into any more tales yet. It wouldn’t be right to forget the duo when the focus of their story was on remembering lost loved ones.
For anyone that’s subscribed to my website, I’ll be reworking my front page this week. I’ll be adding posts linking to each complete series. There’ll be a single post for each of the 7 series so far. I haven’t figured out a way to publish a post without it going to all subscribers yet. I shall Google before I do. Sorry in advance if you get a few posts in a day linking to older stories.
In the mean tie, if you love what I do, and fancy supporting me in some way, you can buy me a cuppa on Ko-Fi. Nobble one of my tees on Threadless. Buy one of my books on Amazon. Grab an original art or a print on my Etsy. Or, hit me up on Patreon for as little as $1 a month.
Wobbly and ambiguous. I’d say that describes the Brass story. It’s a story that would suffer from over-explanation or specifics.
I’ve witnessed three people losing themselves in their final days. It’s hard on everyone. Not remembering a 16-week long hospital visit or asking when we hung a painting that’s lived on the same wall in their house for 30+ years. Picking them up when they’ve gotten lost in the 1/2 mile long high street they’ve lived next to their entire lives. Sitting in the back seat of our Volvo and asking why there’s no steering wheel in the car.
I do firmly believe, sometimes the best we can do is keep everyone laughing. Laughter is often all that keeps us going in our darkest hours. It’s a coping mechanism with no equal. When our loved ones do finally pass on, remember the best of them. Keep their ideas, hopes and dreams alive just that little bit longer.
Also, keep telling their favourite jokes. I’ve told you about my mate Sid, right? He was the victim of ID theft. He’s now just called S.
If you’re supporting someone, or know anyone, suffering from age-related memory changes or dementia, there are good charities out there who can help.
I love crows. I love Fuen. Everyone loves crows. Everyone loves Fuen.
So, who wouldn’t want to be raised by crows?
A new addition to the Little Fears Threadless store. Linky: bit.ly/2tNCsUf
She’s available on tees, tanks and hoodies and as always, Fuen and the chicklets are on art prints available from my Etsy store. Linky: etsy.me/2sHiY3a
Looking at my calendar and having a ponder on my desire to move onto new projects (ref, online serialized fiction). I think I’m going to post the last thirty’ish tales, two per day.
Not only am I eager to move onto new projects, but the serial has also become more of a continuous story. It makes a bit more sense to bunch it up when I’m asking people to come back continuously for each new episode. I’m neither Netflix or a TV station. Dragging the story out now is more frustrating than engaging.
The bonus to you, my good ladies, fellows and others, is that you get double the groaners every single day. Heck, Saturday and Sunday you’ll be getting three stories a day as I’m still collaborating and doing the Colour Collective portraits.
Double bonus to anyone who buys me a cuppa this next two weeks on Ko-Fi. I always give cuppa buyers a shout out with a link to their own site in the next days’ posts. So for the next two weeks, you’ll get at least two shout outs the following day.
Little Fears 