Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Seeking a joke,” sighed Reala.
“All those boxers though?” asked Fuen.
“Yeah, eighty-six of them, standing in single-file, all looking at the floor,” replied Reala.
“I wonder what exactly they’re looking for,” pondered Fuen.
“A punch line,” smirked Reala.
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“Dammit,” said Emu.
“What’s up?” asked Fuen.
“I just got kicked out of a club for being too tall,” grumbled Emu.
“Oh dear,” gasped Fuen. “You must feel awful.”
“I do,” said Emu. “I feel ostrich-sized.”
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“I think I have to face facts,” sighed Sprite.
“Oh dear,” said Serpent. “What’s up?”
“I think,” said Sprite, “I may be a heroine addict.”
“A heroine addict?” quizzed Serpent.
“Yeah,” sighed Sprite. “I have 2,356 Wonder Woman figurines and counting.”
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“Do you know what you are, Sheep?” asked Red.
“Not really,” sighed Sheep. “I’ve been here for 15 years and never seen anything to suggest what I am.”
“Hydras got me thinking we are thoughtforms. Things summoned by what living creatures are thinking about,” said Red.
“Interesting,” said Sheep. “Hey, I could be a cloud! Or a balloon animal of a sheep! Or a ball of wool!”
“I guess some of us will never figure out what we are,” sighed Red.
“Oh, look! A little blue bird!” cried Sheep, before following the blue bird into the sunset.
Red rubbed his chin. “Right…”
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“So, what happened?” asked Flower.
“He got nicked for shoplifting,” said Fuen. “Left a trail of ice cream claw prints behind him.”
“Really? Claws?” sighed Flower.
“Yep,” replied Fuen. “And he stole George Foreman from the kitchen appliances section.”
“Well,” said Flower, “I hope the police give him a grilling.”
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“Do you know what I miss about the Internet?” asked Red.
“Not a clue,” replied Serpent.
“Old school message boards,” said Red.
“Oh they were awful,” cried Serpent. “So many bad designs and layouts. The nasty trolls. Nobody could miss them!”
“Oh, I don’t know,” said Red. “I’m all forum.”
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“Where have you been this morning?” asked Blue.
“Just went to a P.A. meeting,” sighed Black.
“P.A. meeting?” asked Blue.
“Pessimists Anonymous,” replied Black.
“Oh,” said Hydra. “How did that go?”
“The turnout wasn’t great,” grumbled Black. “The room was half empty.”
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“Well, that’s stupid,” moaned Flower.
“What is?” asked Hill.
“Just bought a can opener,” grumbled Flower. “It doesn’t open cans though.”
“Ah,” said Hill. “Can’t opener.”
Flower groaned.
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“So, why did you suggest Serpent changes shape?” asked Hydra.
“Well,” sighed Red. “Humans seem to confuse serpents, snakes and evil people.”
“So she sometimes wakes as an evil woman?” pondered Hydra. “That sounds awful.”
“Oh it gets worse,” said Red. “She’s woken up as a British politician a few times.”
“The horror!” gasped Hydra.
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“Don’t beat yourself up,” said Red. “At least your form stays the same.”
“How do you mean?” asked Hydra.
“Serpent seems to be the collective idea humans have of serpents,” replied Red. “They often see her as inherently evil.”
“She’s alright though yeah?” pondered Hydra.
“Oh, she’s lovely,” replied Red. “Though she does obsess over offering people apples.”
Considering how undeniably London I am, there’s a distinct lack of cockney slang on the Little Fears…
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Little Fears 