Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Crap,” grumbled Red.
“What’s up?” asked Hydra.
“Just bought a massive fish from the supermarket,” moaned Red. “Got it home and found all the insides were missing.”
“Darn,” replied Hydra.
“Yeah,” sighed Red. “Gutted…”
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“I got kicked out,” sighed Scorps.
“Of what?” asked Fuen.
“Fire starting contest,” said Scorps.
“Oh dear,” said Fuen. “What for?”
“Match-fixing,” grumbled Scorps.
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“Bloody teachers,” grumbled Spider.
“What’s up?” asked Serpent.
“My math tutor just called me average,” ranted Spider.
“Oh dear,” replied Serpent. “How mean…”
Normal service resumed! Kinda! You’ll notice my little slider has been removed from below posts, the flavour text at the bottom has changed and the titles are missing from the main page. There’s a handful of other changes I’ve made along with it that most folk won’t notice.
I’ve done what I can to get the like button to show up on new posts going forward, but it’s not something I care enough about to spend more time on. We were discussing on social media last week about removing likes entirely from blogs. I get a lot of people like to show like love. Myself included, I have always been a self-confessed liker. But if likes were missing from a blog, what would change? What would be missed? People won’t stop reading something if they can’t click a button at the end. If anything I imagine it would encourage more comments to be honest. It certainly has this last week.
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“My wife left me,” sighed Lucy.
“Oh dear,” said Fuen. “How are you taking it?”
“Awful,” sighed Lucy. “I have been so lonely and depressed I bought a dog, and a new motorbike then had sex with two women and spent a fortune on drink and drugs.”
“I am sorry to hear that,” replied Fuen.
“Mmm,” mumbled Lucy. “She’s gonna go mad when she gets home from the shops…”
Well, obviously Lucy was going to start migrating into some of the humorous tales. Everyone loves the wicked spirit, Lucy, right?
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Jellyfish arrived, dressed as pasta.
“OK,” said Reala. “I’ll bite.”
“Not me you won’t!” yelled Jellyfish with a smile.
“Jellyfish,” said Reala, “why are you dressed as macaroni…”
“Fake macaroni,” pipped in Jellyfish.
“Why then,” replied Reala, “are you dressed as a fake macaroni?”
Jellyfish grinned. “I’m an impasta!”
“Good grief,” sighed Reala.
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“She was hopeless,” sighed Crabs.
“That bad huh?” asked Cloud.
“Who at what?” asked Fuen.
“I took Cinderella to a charity soccer match,” said Crabs. “She was meant to be our goalie.”
“Not that good, aye?” asked Fuen, walking into it.
“Awful,” said Crabs. “She kept running away from the ball.”
Fuen winced.
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“Mate, you look wrecked,” laughed Hydra.
“Thanks,” grumbled Mountain, hugging a coffee.
“Late night?” asked Hydra.
“Very,” sighed Mountain. “I stayed up all night. I wanted to know why humans are in awe of the sun rising.”
“Oh,” said Hydra.
“Yeah,” mumbled Mountain. “Then it dawned on me.”
Hohoho! That’s a vintage punch-line right there!
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“That’s odd,” said Clouds.
“I know right,” said Clouds.
“What’s that?” asked Clouds.
“I met this girl last night at the vegan club,” said Clouds. “She insisted she knew me.”
“Odd?” inquired Clouds.
“Yeah,” said Clouds, “I never met herbivore.”
“Yeah, it’s cool,” said Snake.
“Whats that?” asked Cloud.
“Snake has found evidence of a dinosaur that had an enormous vocabulary,” replied Spectre.
“Ooh,” said Cloud. “A thesaurus?”
“Looking pretty miffed there,” said Cloud.
“I am not sure what I am,” sighed Hydra. “Frustrated.”
“Ah,” replied Cloud. “An identity crisis. I get them a lot.”
“How come?” asked Hydra
“Imagine this,” said Cloud. “Every time a human looks at the clouds above and sees a shape in a cloud, a baby, a plane, a giraffe or the face of God, another of me appears in the land in-between.”
“How many of you are there?” asked Hydra.
“Last count,” sighed Cloud, “about three hundred billion.”
“Good grief,” exclaimed Hydra. “I bet that makes accepting party invites awkward.”
Little Fears 