Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Hang on,” grumbled Reala to Alpaca. “Is that a duck on your back?”
“Oh yes,” replied Alpaca.
“What’s she doing here?” asked Reala.
“Oh she likes my puns,” said Alpaca.
“Yep,” said the duck. “They quack me up!”
Reala reached for a broom.
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“I could bring my friend,” said Alpaca.
“Oh aye?” asked Reala. “Why would you bring your friend to a picnic date?”
“She’s a burger. Sort of,” pondered Alpaca.
“You’re friends with a burger?” asked Reala.
“Well, the bread bit of a burger,” said Alpaca. “She’s quite intelligent. She’s had some academic success.”
“Oh no,” said Reala, seeing it come from a mile away.
“Yep,” added Alpaca, “she’s on the honours roll.”
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Capricorn (ep. 80)
“When did that happen?” she asked.
“Couple of weeks back,” he replied. “He was sat on the floor, cross-legged with a tablet in his hands, focused on a picture of a pumpkin. ‘Good for Halloween’ I said. He told me it was seasonal.”
“Seasonal?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he nodded.
“Did you tell him it was Easter, not Halloween?” she asked.
“No,” he replied. “Dementia’s a twat.”
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Introducing Sixed for this weeks #Colour_Collective. Oh lord, they’re back to the pinks! I believe I doodled her thinking of scrap metal monsters. Rusted and soiled. Mechanical arms gathering engine parts and repairing herself on the fly.
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“Wanna go on a date with me?” asked Alpaca.
“No,” replied Reala sternly.
“Oh come on, at least have a picnic with me,” pleaded Alpaca.
“Oh aye,” said Reala, “you are a llama of some sort, how will you bring food to a picnic?”
“Alpaca lunch,” she replied.
Reala grimaced.
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“Do you know your bra strap looks too tight from behind,” said Reala.
“It is rather,” sighed Alpaca. “Bit hard to adjust them with hooves.”
“Want me to loosen it a bit for you?” asked Reala.
“Would be nice,” said Alpaca. “It’s my sister’s bra.”
“Don’t have any of your own?” asked Reala.
“Yes, but they’re all in the wash. I tripped over this one sneaking into my sister’s room. I don’t think she likes me going through her stuff.”
“Ah,” said Reala. “Maybe it was a booby trap?”
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“Oh no!” gasped Alpaca.
“What’s up?” asked Reala.
“I just saw the back of my head in the mirror behind the bar,” moaned Alpaca. “Looks like I’m going bald.”
Reala wandered around behind Alpaca. “It’s only a small patch.”
“Maybe I should tattoo a rabbit on the back of my head,” pondered Alpaca.
“Why would you do that?” asked Reala.
“Because from a distance,” said Alpaca, “it would look like a little hare.”
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Capricorn (ep. 79)
She was tall and slender, enough to tower over most men, but she looked so fragile. Her legs reminded him of a spider and her hair was always frazzled.
He never saw where she came from, she would just appear by the roadside, looking up the street. Like she was waiting for a bus she never expected to come.
He’d invited her to wait inside a few times. She always declined.
Why would someone wait for four hours for a bus in the snow?
Ambiguous though many of my endings are, I do like to have a start, finish and end to my stories. This wasn’t so much a story but a start of a story that never fully formed in my head back in the Blue Moons heyday. The scene stuck in my head though. A lady who looked like a breath of wind would knock her over, waiting at a bus stop for a ride that would never come.
Also, dicking about with effects on a video. This was set to 100% and won’t be staying at 100%. But it’s an interesting effect. Just thought it would give my daily tales a little more visual thingy.
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Another nameless Fear. We’ll define her by her role for the time being. Visually she reminds me of a bedraggled pigeon. Her feathers separated. The head-gear looks like a Celtic shamans headdress. She’s our lady for this weeks #Colour_Collective on Twatter.
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“You’re a bit strange,” observed Reala.
“I’m strange?” gasped Alpaca. “You’re the one serving Viagra tea to an alpaca.”
Reala nodded in agreement at Alpaca’s logic.
“Besides which,” continued Alpaca, “neither of us are as strange as Mad Betty McGrue, the homeless pony of Pontefract.”
“Oh aye?” pondered Reala.
“Mmhmm,” said Alpaca. “She’s unstable.”
https://youtu.be/IvwA-e9I-ek
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Little Fears 