Single Handed

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 34)

https://youtu.be/9jwPyyw3Jos
“Were you close to your mum?” asked Reala.

“Oh aye,” replied the penguin.

“She brought her up single-handedly,” pointed out another penguin.

“Gosh, that must have been hard on you,” said Reala.

“Mmhmm,” acknowledged the penguin. “It’s not easy being the daughter of a pirate.”

~~~

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Arctic Cricket

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 33)

https://youtu.be/f3eSLyuwMTI
A penguin sniffed and started crying.

“What’s up?” asked Reala.

“Cricket’s just come on your TV,” replied the penguin.

“Her mum abandoned her because of her obsession with cricket,” said another penguin.

“Oh dear,” replied Reala, dutifully turning the television off. “Are you OK?”

“Yeah,” replied the penguin. “It just hit me for six…”

~~~

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Twitter Quotes

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 32)

“The one about the lie of the land something-something,” said a penguin.

“That doesn’t sound right,” said another penguin.

“What’s up?” asked Reala.

“Trying to remember a quote I read on Twitter this morning,” said a penguin.

“I have a good quote about quotes on Twitter,” said Reala. “‘The problem with quotes on Twitter is that you can never tell if they’re genuine.'”

“Who said that?” asked a penguin.

“Winston Churchill in 1943,” replied Reala.

~~~

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Web Spiders

Capricorn (ep. 65)

https://youtu.be/apjtMaTkQa8
“Web spiders?” laughed Ted.

“Oh yes,” said Teacher. “Also viruses.”

“But they aren’t real,” said Ted.

“Keep telling yourself that,” said Teacher.

Ted laughed, as the army of arachnids amassed inside the CD drive.

~~~

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Asian Tunes

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 31)

The penguin at the back shook her head and rubbed her ear against a table.

“What’s up with her?” asked Reala.

“We were at a concert in South East Asia last night,” replied another penguin.

“Ah,” said Reala, “Singapore?”

“Terrible,” replied the penguin. “The rest of the band weren’t much cop either.”

~~~

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Kindle Direct Publishing now offering proof copies

Yaaaas! But nooooooooo…

A refresher for those that don’t remember or are new here. I have discussed self-publishing platforms a couple of times.

KDP vs Createspace

KDP Earnings

One of my main complaints with Kindle Direct Publishing vs Createspace was that you couldn’t order proof copies to check over from KDP. Proofs are essential. Not only do I need to see the way the images come out in print, but reading a paperback version of my tales always helps me pull up the odd mistakes I miss on the screen. What I usually do is create and release a paperback book without saying anything. Order a copy. Once I get the ‘your order has been dispatched’ email, I unpublish the book until I am ready for a proper release.

My editor has just finished going over the next book. On to Amazon and KDP, I go, and as I get to the last page, I see this.

Ahhh, do you see it? Down the bottom. Beta proof copies. Yes, yes and yes. I am a happy Fear. I click to request a copy.

Submit proof request. Now, there are a couple of caveats here. First being, you pay the print price. For me £5.47. Something I need to double check there as it goes. My earnings from a £12 book are £1.73. You can see that in the screenshot above this. I can’t recall why my earnings are so low compared to the print cost. I need to go double check where the rest of the money’s going.

The price doesn’t include post and packaging. In the UK we don’t get free delivery options on less than £10 of an order. The post and packaging for this bring the price to £9 as opposed to £12 for a proper copy of my book. That’s a tad frustrating. I know in the USA shipping costs are a lot cheaper. But if you’re writing a novel, surely the P&P is going to make this discount rather small?

One other thing to bear in mind. With Createspace, I believe the proof copies of the book have no barcode or ISBN. They also have not for resale written unobtrusively on the back of the book. That suits me as I’m a visual person and my books look lovely, I need to take photos of them.

image of little fears presents spiders book 3, a book of flash fiction and short stories

Aren’t they sexy books? Yeah, I need to take sexy photos of my sexy books to sell them.

In addition to that, I take the original copies I order with me when I need to show them off somewhere. The odd spelling mistake makes no difference to me when it’s a display book on a market stall. But you still need them to look darned sexy sitting there, being all fearful.

But, from the page above, a snippet of text.

Proofs are different from regular copies. They have a “Not for Resale” watermark on the cover and a unique barcode but no ISBN.

Huh, what? Can’t be too bad right? Something small and unobtrusive like Createsp…

WHOA! Seriously? Damn! That isn’t going to look sexy in any photo or sitting on display. Nope. Nope, nope, nope.

I get it, I do. Amazon is selling you a book at a lower price. They don’t want you reselling an unchecked copy of the book. But feck that. It costs me £9 instead of £12, and I can’t use it to promote my book at all. So then I have to pay £12 again for a copy after the release before I can even take a photo of it? That makes no sense. I want the pictures before I release the book so I can tease it and promote it. That’s backwards in every way.

Damn you Amazon KDP! So close, yet so far! I’m back to a quiet release and order before releasing the book properly at a later date.

If you think my books are sexy and want to put a couple of quid my way for all the info, you can purchase the print and ebooks I have released so far from the link below.

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Tagi Car

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 30)

https://youtu.be/-_WMo1Gbxr8
“We picked the fox up in our spaghetti car,” said a penguin.

“A spaghetti car?” asked Reala.

“Mmhmm,” replied a penguin. “A little Italian number made entirely of tagliatelle.”

“Is that even possible?” laughed Reala.

“You sound like my mum,” moaned the penguin.

“Oh?” gasped Reala.

“She didn’t believe I could make a spaghetti car either,” grumbled the penguin. “The look on her face when I drove pasta…”

~~~

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Shepards Bush

Capricorn (ep. 64)

He dragged her along the floor by her neck with his crook. Down the stairs now, her head banging against each step. Cold stone. She felt dizzy.

A heavy wooden door at the bottom. They went through it into a dark room. He released her. The door slammed shut.

Tilting her head to the side, she felt blood against her face. It was probably hers. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness. Two more men were here. Both with crooks. In the centre of the room seemed to be a twelve-foot-tall topiary sheep. Its eyes were red. It looked down at her.

‘Shepard’s Bush’ she thought to herself. She’d always wondered where this place had gotten its name.

~~~

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Arctic Desert

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 29)

https://youtu.be/WyhgdaNKwA4
“Are you finding life inland enjoyable?” asked Reala.

“Not bad,” replied a penguin. “You know, this pub reminds me of the dive we visited when we walked across the Sahara with that nameless arctic fox.”

“Yeah it does a bit,” said the second penguin. “Proper dump!”

“A nameless arctic fox in the desert,” pondered Reala. “What did you call her?”

“Lost,” snickered the penguins.

~~~

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Chilly Meat

Grey Moon – Wednesday (ep. 28)

https://youtu.be/Z_6cYw5OegM
“I wonder where Sandra ended up,” wondered one penguin out loud.

“Who’s Sandra?” asked Reala

“The fourth penguin in our troupe,” replied the penguin. “She left us early on due to a disagreement in the chilly northern forests over meat.”

“Oh dear,” said Reala, “what happened?”

“Nothing really,” replied the penguin, “she just got the cold shoulder.”

~~~

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