Tag: humor

“Another argument,” asked Fuen.

“Yeah,” sighed Sprite.

“What is it this time?” asked Fuen.

“The missus says we need more garden furniture,” grumbled Sprite. “My daughter disagrees.”

“Your missus has a point,” said Fuen.

“Eh,” replied Sprite. “I’m sitting on the fence.”

 

“Lord, help me,” pleaded Sprite.

“What’s up?” asked Sprite.

“I think I have hypochondria,” replied Sprite.

“Do you know what hypochondria is?” asked Sprite.

“No idea,” said Sprite. “But I know I’ve got it.”

Looky looky! Something came in the post today!

I need to give it a few read throughs, check for mistakes and then release. I’m going to keep giving the ebook away for free for the first five days of release for the next couple of books. Despite my annoyance with freebie hunters leaving bad reviews, I get away mostly unscathed compared to most indie authors I follow. If you fancy grabbing my first three books, hit the links below.

USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
UK Editions: http://amzn.to/2y6t8v0

Cheers!

“I had a friend who dedicated his entire life to nurturing a lemon tree,” said Sprite.

“Nice,” replied Spectre.

“Yeah,” said Sprite. “Eighty-seven years, man and boy. Right up until the day it was struck by lightning and toppled over on top of him.”

“Damn,” said Spectre. “Did that kill him?”

“Oh aye,” said Sprite. “It was a bitter blow.”

The proof of my fourth book has been despatched by Amazon. Squee! If you fancy picking up my first three books, hit the links below.

USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
UK Editions: http://amzn.to/2y6t8v0

Cheers!

“New script?” asked Bee.

“Yes,” said Sprite. “Writing a show about two detectives, with a red and white Ford Gran Torino, who solve crimes over the phone.”

“Sounds original,” said Bee. “What’s it called?”

“Star Key and Hash,” replied Sprite.

My next book, Seeking Hydra, will be released soon. If you fancy grabbing my daily tales in paperback for yourself or another Fears fan (just saying, Christmas is coming), hit the links below!

USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
UK Editions: http://amzn.to/2y6t8v0

Cheers!

 

“I have had an identity crisis too,” sighed Door.

“Doors have them too?” whined Hydra. “Does everyone have them?”

“At some point, most likely,” said Door. “Especially here.”

“So what’s your crisis about?” asked Hydra.

“Well for years I thought I was just a door, opening and closing, banging in the wind, locking and unlocking,” said Door.

“What changed?” asked Hydra.

“Last week,” said Door, “someone called me ajar…”

My next book, Seeking Hydra, will be released soon. If you fancy grabbing my daily tales in paperback for yourself or another Fears fan (just saying, Christmas is coming), hit the links below!

USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
UK Editions: http://amzn.to/2y6t8v0

Cheers!

“Sorry I’m late,” said Yuffie.

“Quite alright,” said Sprite.

“Ruddy road hogs,” moaned Yuffie.

“What now?” asked Sprite.

“Oh I was stuck driving behind some guy whose number plate read G4ND 4LF,” replied Yuffie.

“Good plate,” laughed Sprite.

“Needless to say,” said Yuffie, “he didn’t let me pass.”

 

“She left me,” sighed Monsta.

“Sorry to hear that,” replied Fuen. “Any idea why?”

“She said it was because of my obsession with the stock market,” grumbled Monsta. “That, and for allegedly flirting with another woman at the dinner table on an evening out.”

“Oh, Monsta,” sighed Fuen.

“It wasn’t anything major,” moaned Monsta. “We were just playing FTSE.”

 

“No bro,” replied Beat, “you’re not alone. I suffer from identity crises all the time.”

“But you’re a beat, Beat,” replied Hydra. “How much more can there be to a beat?”

“Some days I’m excited enough to pop!” replied Beat.

“And?” pushed Hydra.

“Other days I’m vaguely depressed,” moaned Beat.

“Ah,” said Hydra. “So you can be upbeat and downbeat…”