Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
Jane looked at the cake in awe.
“Now close your eyes, blow out the candles and make a wish,” said Rebecca.
So Jane did, and she kept her eyes shut until her father stopped breathing.
Original photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash. Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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I can say, with absolute certainty, MerMay is a challenge I will not complete. I’m not even going to try. I have too much going on right now. But, on the days where I have an extra bit of time, I could draw some more fishy fears.
The first day’s theme is extravagant. So that’ll be a seahorse for me. Maybe on her way to meet Pisces or Aquarius. Or on her way to commit an evil deed to appease the zodiac fears.
If you’re interested in #MerMay, check out the homepage: mermay.com
If you want to nobble the pens I used, Faber Castell Pitt artists pens, you can grab them on Amazon: amzn.to/2VBMS9c
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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“No horse,” sighed Sprite. “Your spellings as bad as the illustrators.”
“Well, the English language is stupid,” grumbled Horse. “I before e my fuzzy mane.”
“It’s a given rule mate,” replied Sprite. “Except for when my foreign neighbour Keith, a weightlifting financier from Leith, was in a feisty heist with eight reindeer.”
“Oh, piss off,” growled Horse.
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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“This is not what I meant,” growled Spectre, “and you know it!”
“Well I’m not taking it back,” sighed Sprite, putting the tortoise in a chefs hat onto the kitchen counter.
“I’m with Sprite on this,” said Yuffie. “I mean, you didn’t specify a brand or anything when you asked for a slow cooker.”
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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I’ve often said, it’s hard earning a living from an online blog or business. The real money comes from the real world and paying clients. Earning entirely from the Internet can be done, but it’s something most of us won’t ever achieve.
My art prints for example. I can take them to market stalls with greetings cards and earn more in a day than my Etsy store earns in weeks. That’s partly my fault for not promoting it enough, and, from the feedback I’ve gotten, it’s also the price.
At markets, I sell them for £12. On Etsy, they’re £15. The reason for the price jump is post and packaging. You have to offer free shipping or Etsy dumps you down in search. I have to incorporate a max of £4.20 into every sale. That’s the shipping to the USA cost. I have hard backed envelopes cost, listing fees, print cost and transaction fees on top of that. Expenses stack up quickly selling Etsy. All that compared to a market stall, £10 for a day, sell as much as I can.
But look at my Etsy shop. Two years and thirty’ish sales. Actually, ignore my shop, that says fourteen. There was a digital hiccup and I lost feedback and sales last year. All the same, you get me? My Etsy store is just sitting dormant.
So, with listing fees needing to be renewed for the next three months, I’ve taken a view. Revised things a bit. The prices on all art prints have been dropped from £15 to £12 including free shipping to anywhere in the world. I also need to start working at my Etsy store. Not just dropping links to it in posts, but getting new art things on there. New original art, ACEOs, new prints like the “Drink Tea” design I have on Threadless. Not just more character images, because they just aren’t cutting it online.
This post might read like a bit of a downer, but it isn’t. I have probably broken even between sales, shipping and listing fees over the last couple of years on Etsy. So it’s cost me nothing to find out selling on Etsy doesn’t work unless you work it hard. That’s fine by me. Lessons in life, business and the Internet are rarely free.
If you fancy visiting my now slightly cheaper Etsy store, hit the following link: littlefears.etsy.com
If you want to get into Etsy yourself, I cannot recommend Melanie Greenwoods course on Skillshare enough. It’s three hours long and covers, quite literally, everything.
It is a premium course, but if you click my link to it, I believe you get two free months of Skillshare premium. https://skl.sh/2kvcAJi
Shout out to my new Patreon, Clare London of clarelondon.com and thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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“I’ve just seen the police knocking down Black-fish’s door,” sighed Blue.
“Oh no,” gasped White. “What happened?”
“Once the door was down, they went inside and began singing ‘Every breath you take,’” replied Blue.
“I see,” pondered White. “So it was a sting?”
Shout out to my new Patreon, Clare London of clarelondon.com and thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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Story by Cyranny
“Hit me again, man!”
The old neon lights flickered annoyingly, giving a cheap stroboscopic feeling to every move the barman made, behind the counter. Bolt pushed his empty glass on the bar.
“If I keep the refills coming, you’ll get totally hammered. You know that, right?”
Bolt’s stare back was probably intended as a clear request to shut up and fill his glass, but since the bar tender didn’t show any intention of reaching for the scotch bottle, Bolt mumbled…
“That would be the plan. Unless you suddenly have scruples?”
The barman laughed, and his very white teeth blinked like a Cheshire Cat disco smile.
“And what is the occasion, if I may ask?”
Bolt frowned, still waiting for his booze.
“Remember the red head girl I offered a ride home, last Friday?” The barman nodded. “Well, I gave her a ride, home. I nailed her. “
The bar tender finally reached for the bottle on the shelf.
“Did your wife….?”
“Yup, she found out. I am a terrible liar.”
The man poured him a double and gave him a sympathetic look.
“Oh, Bolt… I am sorry.”
Bolt downed the drink, and handed his glass for another.
“Yup, I’m screwed.”
This week’s Sunday collab was written by Cyranny of Cyranny’s Cove. Pretty sure y’all know Cyranny by now. A long time Fears’erer, prolific blogger and scribbler of words.
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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“What’s up?” asked Red.
“I got sacked from my job at Equine Bank,” grumbled Horse.
“Aww, I’m sorry to hear that,” said Red. “What happened?”
“Well, some old lady came in and asked me to check her balance,” grumbled Horse. “So I pushed her over.”
Now I know there’s a fear of horses! Equinophobia!
The only fear I have of ponies is that my hands getting sunburned and a pony mistakes my fingers for carrots. Shetland ponies are lovely until they see orange. Then all bets are off!
I wonder what that’s called… Carroponyfingerphobia?
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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“Could someone give DCI Lily a call,” asked Reala.
“Sure,” replied Lucy. “Something up?”
“I think Sprite just stole my anti-depressants,” grumbled Reala.
“Darn,” said Fuen. “I hope he’s happy with himself.”
I didn’t find any particular phobias of pills, although there’s a lot of people with a fear of swallowing pills. I did discover there’s a medication phobia known as pharmacophobia. A fear of pharmacological treatments. That’s gotta be a bit of a bother to have.
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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The corvid sat in the tree outside. Peering through the window. Crows, ravens, rooks and magpies assembled underneath. They’d peer around the curtains, always looking for the televisions.
He left the curtains open and TV on to see if they’d get bored and leave him alone. They sat outside all night. Watching the static and listening to the white noise. Only moving on, when they’d received their instructions.
For all the Fuen’isms I’ve written on this website, she’s never been in a horror/weird fiction story. Funny thing. As a crow spirit, I have a lot of scope to shift her to the weird fiction side. It’s just never occurred to me to do it before.
Do you know what has occurred to me? Putting her on a t-shirt, and I’ve put her on loads over on my Threadless store. Need a link? littlefears.threadless.com
Currently with free shipping, just copypasta the following code: FREESHIP4197cca8e
Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage.
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Little Fears 