Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Books growing on trees,” noted Spectre. “That’s new.”
“Oh, hey,” said Sprite. “Did you hear, our old library’s ordered the new book on small willies.”
“Is it in yet?” asked Spectre.
“Yes,” said Sprite, “that’s the one!”
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“Why build a road on an empty island?” pondered Spectre.
“Maybe it’s for wildlife trying to get fit,” remarked Sprite.
Spectre hopped off the tarmac and headed into the forest. “I don’t think animals care about calories.”
“I guess not,” replied Sprite. “Lucy said you once burned 2,000 calories in an hour.”
“Yeah,” sighed Spectre. “I left a cake in the oven too long.”
Skidding in a bit late this morn… After… Evening… Ruddy ‘eck, I am late today!
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Story by Ruth
All the silent letters gathered at the Overpass one day, roiling with discontent.
The First “R” in Sarsaparilla exclaimed, “We’re not being heard!”
“If you’re not going to use me, I’ll just go back to the herd,” said The “A” in Heard.
But another protest had already been scheduled for that morning. It was the Misunderstood Phrases Consortium.
“I suppose if a king were doing sit-ups, it would be correct, but please do not call me ‘Regime,’ said Fitness Regimen. “That’s not my name.”
If they’re all there, their tempers will be flaring! You’re sure to see your sentences in fragments.
Legend has it that it all went down at Mile Marker 26. All because they didn’t want to fall through the cracks.
This weeks collaboration was written by the one they call, Auntie Ruth. Two things that aren’t a crash of letters are her blogs. You can find her at grace-gratitude.blog and praypower4today.wordpress.com. Cheers, Ruth!
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
“I saw Alfred this morning,” noted Sprite.
“The snail?” asked Spectre. “What’s he up to nowadays?”
“He’s homeless,” replied Sprite. “He got evicted from his shell by a slimy landlord.”
“Oh, man, poor guy,” remarked Spectre. “How’s he taken it?”
“Better than expected,” said Sprite. “But he’s feeling a little sluggish.”
Alas, poor Alfred. Another illustration from the missus. Everybody loves her previous art here, so once again, she gets tapped for a drawing. You can check her art out and say hello to her on Twatter at @DonnaMStrachan and you can nobble her art prints from Society6 and you can buy her a cuppa on Ko-fi.
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
“I don’t want you here,” growled Meria.
“Well, you’re stuck with me,” laughed Lucy. “My wife just left me on account of my obsession with cricket.”
“Should I care?” asked Meria.
“No,” replied Lucy. “It just really hit me for six.”
“Why did you come to this island?” asked Meria.
Lucy reached for a bottle of whisky and grinned.
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Meria kicked the pub’s door open and dragged her haul inside.
“Well, this is grim,” chuckled Lucy flicking the light switch. “Bulbs have gone?”
“Times are hard here,” sighed Meria. “There’s no money on this island and the electricity abandoned the supply years ago.”
“Well,” smirked Lucy, “these are dark times
Shout out to Kathy of Kathy of London for new patronage this morning. You’ll find photography, poetry and pecking birds on her blog, so if you fancy any of the above, give her a visit. Cheers, Kat!
Cheers to Kathy & Warren for the $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
“This is one cold and barren island,” remarked Lucy.
“It has sea birds, sheep and fish,” replied Meria.
“Not much intelligent life here,” grinned Lucy.
“The dolphins are about as smart as life gets here,” growled Meria, “and that suits me fine.”
“That’s all well and good until you need to clean a pod them,” chuckled Lucy. “I doubt you have many multi-porpoise cleaners on this rock.”
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“That’d make a good photo,” remarked Lucy.
“Only for some motivational social media crap,” snorted Meria.
“I like clouds,” pondered Lucy. “I wrote a play about five clouds. On the opening night, the director added a sixth cloud.”
Meria shook her head and pressed on.
“The stage was overcast,” grinned Lucy.
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“Considering you’re on a deserted island,” pondered Lucy, “you’re in an awful hurry.”
“How did you get here?” asked Meria.
“Same way you did, I imagine,” replied Lucy.
Meria nodded to the East, “storms coming.”
“Yeah,” noted Lucy. “It’ll blow over.”
Not another long serial. Just another five-parter like the Shore with my usual play-on-words mixed with a smidgen of horror.
Cheers to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. You can find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
Story by David
“The cat was mostly curious when I put it in the blender,” recounted Lucy.
Yuffie sobbed.
“It got ornery when I added the holy water, but the lid proved the stronger,” continued Lucy.
“How could you do that? What was going through your mind?” Yuffie moaned.
“You always say, fight fire with fire. You were catatonic. What else could I do?” Lucy demanded.
This weeks tale was spun (hah! Git it!) by David. You can check out their poetry and philosophical musings at davidiclineage.wordpress.com
Cheers to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. Want to support the Fears or nobble books, art and merch? Find me on Ko Fi, Patreon, Etsy, Amazon, Skillshare and Threadless.
Little Fears 