Tag: short story

“I have had an identity crisis too,” sighed Door.

“Doors have them too?” whined Hydra. “Does everyone have them?”

“At some point, most likely,” said Door. “Especially here.”

“So what’s your crisis about?” asked Hydra.

“Well for years I thought I was just a door, opening and closing, banging in the wind, locking and unlocking,” said Door.

“What changed?” asked Hydra.

“Last week,” said Door, “someone called me ajar…”

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“Sorry I’m late,” said Yuffie.

“Quite alright,” said Sprite.

“Ruddy road hogs,” moaned Yuffie.

“What now?” asked Sprite.

“Oh I was stuck driving behind some guy whose number plate read G4ND 4LF,” replied Yuffie.

“Good plate,” laughed Sprite.

“Needless to say,” said Yuffie, “he didn’t let me pass.”

 

“She left me,” sighed Monsta.

“Sorry to hear that,” replied Fuen. “Any idea why?”

“She said it was because of my obsession with the stock market,” grumbled Monsta. “That, and for allegedly flirting with another woman at the dinner table on an evening out.”

“Oh, Monsta,” sighed Fuen.

“It wasn’t anything major,” moaned Monsta. “We were just playing FTSE.”

 

“No bro,” replied Beat, “you’re not alone. I suffer from identity crises all the time.”

“But you’re a beat, Beat,” replied Hydra. “How much more can there be to a beat?”

“Some days I’m excited enough to pop!” replied Beat.

“And?” pushed Hydra.

“Other days I’m vaguely depressed,” moaned Beat.

“Ah,” said Hydra. “So you can be upbeat and downbeat…”

 

“Oh, it’s awful,” said Sprite.

“I do believe I would feel ill from that too,” said Spectre.

“What’s that?” asked Yuffie.

“I keep seeing Russian presidents when having nookie with the missus,” sighed Sprite.

“Man,” said Fuen. “I bet that keeps Putin you off.”

 

“Well,” said Lucy, “it was a good night.”

“Sounds it,” laughed Galaxy.

“What did you get up to?” asked Yuffie.

“I pulled last night at the club after a few shots,” said Lucy.

“Nice one,” laughed Yuffie.

“Yeah, I popped home first to get my wife to join in,” said Lucy. “But she’s not interested in clay pigeons.”

 

“I mean some of us represent fears, right?” asked Hydra. “Like open spaces, stick insects and talking in front of crowds.”

“Well, I guess so,” said House.

“I mean that could explain Chameleon’s behaviour,” pondered Hydra.

“How so?” asked House.

“He never wants to stand out,” replied Hydra.