Tag: humour

“Mate,” said Ptera, “you look peeved!”

“I’m furious,” grumbled Yuffie. “Just left a restaurant where we ordered oven baked giant-duck.”

“Didn’t it taste very nice?” asked Ptera.

“It was alright,” sighed Yuffie, “but the bill was huge.”

I’ve mentioned before that I make far more content than I need. Doodles, stories and new characters. I create at least twice as much as I will use and discard the stuff I won’t use. I’ve got a couple of folders for stuff that I might use someday but not yet.

In a week-long display of disorganisation, I’m convinced I’ve used the last five pictures before, but I’ll be darned if I can remember when and where. Better planning in future required, I think!

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“Kraken, you looked wrecked,” observed Black.

“Mate I tell ya,” sighed Kraken. “I spent the whole night arguing with the missus about laundry.”

“Oh aye?” pondered Black. “How’d that work out?”

“At 2 am,” grumbled Kraken, “I folded.”

Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. 

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“What up, Lady Bug?” asked Monsta.

“Just back from the doc’s mate,” sighed Lady Bug.

“Oh dear,” said Monsta, “everything OK?”

“I’ve gotten a prescription of anti-gloating cream for my smugness,” grumbled Lady Bug.

“Ack,” replied Monsta. “I bet you can’t wait to rub it in.”

Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. 

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“Alright bruv,” said Blue. “You look a little rattled mate.”

“Well,” replied Black, “I’m reading a horror story written in Braille.”

“Oh aye,” pondered Blue. “Any good?”

“It’s OK,” said Black. “But something bad’s going to happen. I can feel it…”

I did say I wanted horror to return to the Fears… Although… Not really what I meant… *Grins*

Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. 

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“Exactly,” said Spider. “So the square route of 169 is 13.”

“Erm, Spider,” interrupted Sprite. “What are you doing?”

“I’m teaching these here pygmies math,” replied Spider, lifting a leaf to reveal hundreds of tiny creatures.

“Why?” asked Sprite.

“Something my mother used to say,” pondered Spider. “Make the little things count.”

Sprite whined.

Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. 

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“So the birds took over?” asked Yuffie.

“Yeah,” grumbled Claws. “A hundred pigeons led a violent uprising.”

“Oh dear,” said Yuffie. “Did they take legal ownership of your farm as well?”

“All seventy-six acres,” cried Claws. “I tell ya, it was a planned coo.”

For anyone in need of a laugh this morning, there’s a bird I follow on Twatter. Jon Pigeon. A biscuit obsessed London pigeon who can work social media. twitter.com/pigeonjon

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“This is not what I meant,” growled Spectre, “and you know it!”

“Well I’m not taking it back,” sighed Sprite, putting the tortoise in a chefs hat onto the kitchen counter.

“I’m with Sprite on this,” said Yuffie. “I mean, you didn’t specify a brand or anything when you asked for a slow cooker.”

Thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. 

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“I’ve just seen the police knocking down Black-fish’s door,” sighed Blue.

“Oh no,” gasped White. “What happened?”

“Once the door was down, they went inside and began singing ‘Every breath you take,’” replied Blue.

“I see,” pondered White. “So it was a sting?”

Shout out to my new Patreon, Clare London of clarelondon.com and thanks to Warren for the continued $10 Patronage. 

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