Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
Mac’s body lay on the floor. A slow rasping exhale, the final breath. Danni stood, tears rolling down her cheeks. She wasn’t sure if it was from the gun smoke, or her emotions getting the better of her.
It was OK now, though. Everything would be fine. She watched Mac’s blood forming patterns around the bumps and grooves in the floor.
The lights flickered and the moon slid behind a cloud, as the dead started pulling the door off its hinges.
“What the fuck, James,” said Shelly. “I told you this isn’t funny!”
“What’s that?” called James.
Shelly ripped the Post-It note off the mirror.
“Mine,” she read out loud. “What the fuck does that even mean, James?”
“Yeah just coming,” called James, from the other side of the mirror.
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New video style! Age restriction because of naughty words. Colour themed to the books they come from. New microphone too! More on this in next weeks blog post.
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She fed the fibres into the flyer. She watched it weave its way onto the bobbin. She drove her foot into the pedal, harder, faster. The spinning wheel provided a cool breeze across her legs. This yarn was going to be so special. So golden. She didn’t stop spinning until she tore her scalp clean off her skull.
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“I’m pretty sure my neighbour is stalking me,” said White.
“What makes you say that?” asked Fuen.
“Well I saw him Googling my name on his mobile phone,” said White.
“Oh,” replied Fuen. “Where was that?”
“In his bedroom,” said White. “I saw it with my infrared night sight telescope. At 3 am. It was kinda hard to see through the crack in his curtains…”
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He woke up with a start. He looked down at the bed sheets. This isn’t where he went to sleep.
He woke up with a start. He ran his hand through the sand beneath him. This isn’t…
He woke up with a start. He saw a set of oncoming headlights.
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“Urgh, I have another session today,” grumped Cloud.
“What with?” asked Cloud.
“My therapist,” sighed Cloud.
“What are you seeing a therapist for?” asked Cloud.
“He says I have a preoccupation with revenge,” said Cloud. “We’ll see about that…”
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“So why did you change all your passwords to ‘incorrect’?” asked Fuen.
“Well,” said Spider, “I can never remember any of my passwords, and my rabbit keeps eating my password books.”
“And?” pushed Fuen.
“Well every time I get my password wrong, I get a reminder,” said Spider.
“Eh?” asked Fuen.
Spider spun her laptop around for Fuen to see the message, ‘Your password is incorrect’.
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“I can’t multi-task at all,” sighed Black Fish.
“Oh, I’m great at multi-tasking,” chirped Surfer.
“Really?” asked Black Fish.
“Oh yes,” said Surfer. “I can waste time, procrastinate, look at kitten pictures and be unproductive all at the same time!”
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The first time his shadow waved to him, he thought it was a trick of the light. When his shadow took a kettle off the stove, he thought he was dreaming. When his shadow cut his wife’s head off, he was proud. When his shadow stabbed the policeman, he was nervous. His shadow now has religious texts and 14 pounds of explosives. He is not sure how he feels about that.
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“I just read a study on black holes,” said Yuffie.
“I just read a study on editors and insanity,” sighed Lady.
“I just read an article about weight,” pipped in Tree. “Women who put on a few pounds live longer.”
“Live longer than who?” asked Lady.
“The men who mention it,” replied Tree.
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Little Fears 