Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“While we’re talking about jobs,” said Yuffie, “I once wrote a joke book about avoiding employment.”
“Ah, so you’re an author?” asked Reala.
“Mmhmm,” replied Yuffie.
“Did the book sell well?” asked Saturn.
“No,” sighed Yuffie. “None of the comedy worked.”
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“I applied for a job at an eraser factory last week,” said Fuen.
“Oh aye,” replied Reala. “How did it go?”
“Not sure,” replied Fuen. “It was going well until they asked me what I thought qualified me for the job.”
“And?” pushed Yuffie.
“I handed them a blank resume and told them I thought my work would speak for itself,” sighed Fuen.
The Little Fears presents: Grey Moon, has now been released! The fifth book in the Little Fears presents series follows an all-female cast of Little Fears as they figure out their place in the world in-between, explore love and discuss picnics with alpacas. All within the confines of the Grey Moon bar. If you’d like to grab a copy, go to the Kindle edition, it’ll show as £0.00 to buy. Grab it at that price and its free forever. If you enjoy it, please do leave me a review. Y’all know a 5 star helps an author.
Grey Moon USA edition: http://amzn.to/2C58nS0
Grey Moon UK edition: http://amzn.to/2nMfNoS
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He snags his arm on a rock. With a rip, he tears a strip of his wetsuit off along with his skin. Blood trails through the water. He keeps wriggling.
She grabs his foot, she needs him to calm down.
He drops his air tank, kicking free of her grip, and swimming the last few metres into open space.
She hangs back, and with a sigh, watches the shadow of a three-headed undead shark moving towards him.
The water turns red.
The Little Fears presents: Grey Moon, has now been released! The fifth book in the Little Fears presents series follows an all-female cast of Little Fears as they figure out their place in the world in-between, explore love and discuss picnics with alpacas. All within the confines of the Grey Moon bar. If you’d like to grab a copy, go to the Kindle edition, it’ll show as £0.00 to buy. Grab it at that price and its free forever. If you enjoy it, please do leave me a review. Y’all know a 5 star helps an author.
Grey Moon USA edition: http://amzn.to/2C58nS0
Grey Moon UK edition: http://amzn.to/2nMfNoS
Eat our books: amzn.to/2hMVmVy
Sponsor our Patreon: patreon.com/littlefears
Lick our course: skillshare.com
Drink our art prints & tees: littlefears.threadless.com
The Little Fears presents: Grey Moon, has now been released! Boom! And in case you missed the post title, the ebook is free for five days. The fifth book in the Little Fears presents series follows an all-female cast of Little Fears as they figure out their place in the world in-between, explore love and discuss picnics with alpacas. All within the confines of the Grey Moon bar. A wee bit of shpiel for you.
If anything is going to save the Little Fears from awful punch lines, it’s not an alpaca with a duck on its back. In Grey Moon, Great British groaners are the order of the day as the assembled Little Fears make their way through 84 tales of ornithology, penguins, rum, love and splinters. Reala offers an Animal Cracker; A pigeon races an aunt; A Roman makes a scene; Yuffie gets hitched; Fuen walks 500 miles. Written and posted with scruffy illustrations daily on LittleFears.co.uk. These brief vignettes (50 to 100 words) chronicle the continuing adventures of the Little Fears. With only a sense of whimsy and a deep love of old British comedy, Grey Moon will make you groan, cry and laugh until a bit of wee comes out, in a truly original, unoriginal, work of art and fiction.
Sounds typical Fears aye? This is the last book I wrote without thinking in terms of writing a book. If you’d like to grab a copy, go to the Kindle edition, it should show as £0.00 to buy. Grab it at that price and its free forever. If you enjoy it, please do leave me a review. Y’all know a 5 star helps an author.
Grey Moon USA edition: http://amzn.to/2C58nS0
Grey Moon UK edition: http://amzn.to/2nMfNoS
“Hmm,” mumbled Fuen, circling an advert in a newspaper.
“Looking for a job?” asked Saturn.
“Maybe,” said Fuen. “Look at this one.”
The advert read, ‘ACCOUNTANT NEEDED! £35,000 – £40,000.’
“I mean that’s easy,” said Fuen. “The answer is -£5000.”
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Look at it! Muddy funster is it sexy!
OK, so, it looks like the sale of my house falls through after four months. ShitBuggerBumFart. I wasn’t prepared for my run of bad luck to continue into 2018. No worries. I’m now plotting out where the Fears, work, finances and I go or the next six to twelve months.
On the upside for the Fears fans, a series of plans that I had been delaying will now be crashing into effect this next couple of weeks. We have a Threadless free shipping sale. Digital rewards for my Patrons. The Little Fears studio, in which I offer design work. Including logos, book covers, website banners and anything else the Fears can help with. A new shop on this site where you can purchase my canvas paper Little Fears art prints. More Skillshare classes and of course, the release of the next Little Fears presents book, Grey Moon.
Hold your horses before you dash off to Amazon. As always, with the release of a new book, I will be giving the ebook away free for five days. The free ebook is intended for Little Fears followers and subscribers, a thank you for the continued support you all give me. You ladies, gents and those in-between are fecking awesome. Grey Moon is officially released, and free on Amazon, from Friday the 9th of February. I will post links to the Grey Moon ebook on the day.
Cheers everyone! You’re all fab!
“Oh dear,” said Yuffie, folding out a newspaper.
“What’s up?” asked Reala.
“It says here,” replied Yuffie, “Mad Penny Pencil McGrue, the courtroom artist for Harrow Crown Court, has been arrested for reasons unknown.”
“Blimey,” said Fuen. “Any further information?”
“No,” sighed Yuffie. “Details are sketchy.”
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Reala watched Saturn swing the door open and sit at the bar in a huff.
“What’s up?” asked Reala?
“My missus has been giving me stick again,” sighed Saturn.
“Oh dear,” replied Reala, pouring Saturn a glass of rum.
“She keeps saying she finds my personality sexy,” said Saturn.
“Aha,” said Reala. “Is that a problem?”
“Kinda,” moaned Saturn. “I don’t know which one she finds sexy.”
“Oh, don’t listen to her,” said Saturn, “she’s a moaning Minnie.”
“Be quiet you,” snapped Saturn.
“OK,” said Reala, pouring a few more rums.
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She closed the front door behind her with a sigh. Emptying her handbag onto the sideboard revealed a powder compact, a lipstick, some lip balm, and a loose penny, which landed on its side and stood upright.
“That’s supposed to be lucky,” said her husband, handing her a drink.
“I could use some good fortune after the day I’ve had,” she laughed.
Her husband nodded, downing his own whisky. Toasting himself silently, willing her to drink the poison-laden glass. He hadn’t noticed he’d given her the wrong one.
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“What about her friend Mabel?” asked Yuffie.
“Well, she hasn’t been the same since the incident,” sighed Fuen.
“No,” replied Yuffie. “It was a terrible shame.”
“What happened to her?” asked Reala.
“She fell into a vat of lemon juice and almost drowned,” replied Fuen.
“She turned quite sour afterwards,” lamented Yuffie.
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Little Fears 