Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Well, that’s stupid,” moaned Flower.
“What is?” asked Hill.
“Just bought a can opener,” grumbled Flower. “It doesn’t open cans though.”
“Ah,” said Hill. “Can’t opener.”
Flower groaned.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
Well hello! Welcome to another Little Fears; big update! In this weeks post…
The fine young lady as doodled for this weeks #Colour_Collective on Twatter. Pretty darned sexy if you ask me! I had in mind she was the Little Fears chief rat catcher, who isn’t very good at catching rats. That’s good because Yuffie would be peeved if Umber ate her friend Ratty!
Still very fears, but a slight departure in colour and style for this weeks new Threadless image. Hydra going for an Autumnal walk. Might make a good book cover for the next Little Fears book titled Seeking Hydra.
Hydra in Autumn is available from $12 from the Little Fears Threadless Store: https://littlefears.threadless.com/
A quicky for Inktober, just wanted to show how my characters start out compared to how they end. This is, of course, Umber from the top of the post.
I keep getting told on social media this week I should write a book! Well, I have, three of them in fact. They are all available in print and digital from Amazon.com, with January and Spiders being funny tales and Capricorn a collection of my horror stories.
USA Editions: http://amzn.to/2frKA6e
UK Editions: http://amzn.to/2zTH64S
Well hello, I have some new and awesome Patreons this week!
Hello and thank you, ClutzyPanda. One half of the Miles and Crawford double act. She’s a resident of Twitter, @ClutzyPanda, and has a Patreon page herself.
Thank you, Daniel Cantu of danielcan2.com. You can say hello to @MisterCan2 on Twitter or nudge his Patreon page.
Do you want a shout out at the bottom of my weekly update posts? Head on over to Patreon and pledge $10 or more a month and not only will you help with Hydra’s feed bill, but you will also get that weekly shout out with a link back to your site. Hit me up on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
“So, why did you suggest Serpent changes shape?” asked Hydra.
“Well,” sighed Red. “Humans seem to confuse serpents, snakes and evil people.”
“So she sometimes wakes as an evil woman?” pondered Hydra. “That sounds awful.”
“Oh it gets worse,” said Red. “She’s woken up as a British politician a few times.”
“The horror!” gasped Hydra.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“Don’t beat yourself up,” said Red. “At least your form stays the same.”
“How do you mean?” asked Hydra.
“Serpent seems to be the collective idea humans have of serpents,” replied Red. “They often see her as inherently evil.”
“She’s alright though yeah?” pondered Hydra.
“Oh, she’s lovely,” replied Red. “Though she does obsess over offering people apples.”
Considering how undeniably London I am, there’s a distinct lack of cockney slang on the Little Fears…
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“Crap,” grumbled Red.
“What’s up?” asked Hydra.
“Just bought a massive fish from the supermarket,” moaned Red. “Got it home and found all the insides were missing.”
“Darn,” replied Hydra.
“Yeah,” sighed Red. “Gutted…”
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“I got kicked out,” sighed Scorps.
“Of what?” asked Fuen.
“Fire starting contest,” said Scorps.
“Oh dear,” said Fuen. “What for?”
“Match-fixing,” grumbled Scorps.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“Feckin’ foxes,” she yells, kicking the bin bag.
She was baffled by how they kept coming. She’d put so much poison in her bin bags that all the neighbour’s cats and most of the dogs had died. But never all of the foxes.
She ties the top of the bin bag shut, again, and drops it in the metal can. “Feckin’ foxes.”
Last week she moved onto injecting cyanide into meat and treats, and leaving them about the estate. Nearly all the local birds were dead now.
She wanders back indoors. She feels rank break against the back of her neck. She turns. Rows of sharp yellow teeth greet her.
Feckin’ foxes.
Yep. That voice over right there is the onset of my first cold of the Autumn season… 🙂
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
“Bloody teachers,” grumbled Spider.
“What’s up?” asked Serpent.
“My math tutor just called me average,” ranted Spider.
“Oh dear,” replied Serpent. “How mean…”
Normal service resumed! Kinda! You’ll notice my little slider has been removed from below posts, the flavour text at the bottom has changed and the titles are missing from the main page. There’s a handful of other changes I’ve made along with it that most folk won’t notice.
I’ve done what I can to get the like button to show up on new posts going forward, but it’s not something I care enough about to spend more time on. We were discussing on social media last week about removing likes entirely from blogs. I get a lot of people like to show like love. Myself included, I have always been a self-confessed liker. But if likes were missing from a blog, what would change? What would be missed? People won’t stop reading something if they can’t click a button at the end. If anything I imagine it would encourage more comments to be honest. It certainly has this last week.
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
Yep. Many of you noticed the other day, Armageddon began for the Little Fears website. Some of you had messages spammed out, others saw the mangled front page and some heard me shouting obscenities from the other side of the world. Some of which may have sounded like “muddy funster”…
Sorry, everybody!
I’m back, mostly, but I’ll be fixing this for the rest of the day. Normal service complete with painful puns and spooky horror will resume tomorrow. Cheers!
Ko-Fi | Patreon | Etsy | Kindle | Skillshare | Threadless
Yeah, she’s a nice character. She came from the Inktober character spam. I tidied her up and coloured her for this weeks #Colour_Collective on Twitter. I reckon she’s a future character for the Threadless store.
Speaking of Threadless, Sprite and Spectre have landed on our tees as a duo. They are my favourite pairing out all the Fears. They were never meant to be a bromance, but they work so darned well together in the stories!
Spectre & Sprite are available from $12.95 on the Little Fears Threadless store.
Linky: https://littlefears.threadless.com/
Clouds were an Inktober theme a few days ago, would have been rude not too! Art print for next week too as well I reckon.
I have been trying out the Faber-Castell Artist Pitt pens I got for Inktober and spamming out new characters left right and centre. I have absolutely fallen for them. They shan’t replace my Poscas anytime soon for the daily tale doodles, but they have become my new go-to pen for doodling on white paper.They are also currently on sale on Amazon.co.uk
Amazon UK linky: http://amzn.to/2kXtq5O
Amazon USA linky: http://amzn.to/2yw7CRy
Do you want a shout out at the bottom of my weekly update posts? Head on over to Patreon and pledge $10 or more a month and not only will you help with Hydra’s feed bill, but you will also get that weekly shout out with a link back to your site. Hit me up on Patreon here: https://www.patreon.com/littlefears
Little Fears 