fiction – Page 65 – Little Fears

Little Fears presents: Spiders – Free for 5 days on Amazon

August 30, 2017 LittleFears30 Comments

Little Fears presents: Spiders

Well, thank feck for that! Finally, Spiders has been released! Man, this book was meant to be out back in June. The big things in life have been taken over by other big things, and honestly, I’m at least three months behind where I should be on everything. Now my house is finally decorated, I can get back on track a bit. That post I made a few months back about things I had in the pipeline for Fears, that’s getting caught up.

The first big thing this week is, of course, the release of Little Fears presents: Spiders. The third book in the Little Fears series. It’s entirely self-contained, with 94 humorous tales published on this site over the last three months. The digital edition is also free for the first five days of release.

I don’t do sales down the line. I always feel that’s a kick in the teeth to fans that have paid full crack for something, to see it then half price or free the following week. By giving the digital copy away free for the first five days of release, that’s only going to go to the Little Fears followers and subscribers. They, you, are the people who should get a free copy. Not some random Joe who spots a sale on in six months time who’s never followed anything I have ever done.

If you enjoy the book, please do leave a review on Amazon and consider buying the paperback edition for a friend who may enjoy my humour. Little Fears books, best served with lovely full-colour paper with fresh book smell.

Synopsis

If anything is going to save the Little Fears from awful punch lines, it is not Shadow eating a sandwich. In Spiders, Great British groaners are the order of the day as the assembled Little Fears make their way through 94 tales of hospitals, food, steps, night sight telescopes and revenge. Rabbit eats a password book; Spider goes to the hospital; Fish multi-tasks; Lady observes X; Sprite has a chain reaction. Written and posted with scruffy illustrations daily on LittleFears.co.uk. These brief vignettes (50 to 100 words) chronicle the continuing adventures of the Little Fears. With only a sense of whimsy and a deep love of old British comedy, Spiders will make you groan, cry and laugh until a bit of wee comes out, in a truly original, unoriginal, work of art and fiction.

USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z

UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu

Again, I am going to ask, if you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review!

Cheers

Damp Jewellery

August 30, 2017 LittleFears10 Comments

“Yuffie,” yelled Fuen. “You need to get some control over Hydra.”

“Why?” asked Yuffie.

“Because he diddled on my necklace,” ranted Fuen.

“Funny,” said Spectre. “He peed on my bracelet.”

“And my hair piece,” said Serpent. “He’s peeing on everybody’s jewellery, Yuffie!”

“Not on my watch,” replied Yuffie.

Hey hey, rabble! Little Fears Spiders, the Little Fears third book, has now been released. To you fine folk who follow me, you get first dibs. The digital edition is free for the next 5 days. Full announcement and fan fare will come later today. Feel free to hop on over to Amazon and grab a free digital copy early though.

USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z

UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu

If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review!

Cheers

Middle East

August 29, 2017 LittleFears29 Comments

“Yeah it was pretty dramatic,” said Spectre. “Ruddy Taliban.”

“Good grief,” awed Fuen. “This was in the Middle East then?”

“Mhm,” motioned Spectre.

“How did you escape?” asked Fuen.

“Iran,” replied Spectre.

Badomtish!

The Little Fears third book, Spiders, is now on Amazon. Proper announcement tomorrow, because from the 30th of August to the 4th of September the digital edition of the book will be free to buy for everyone who follows my WordPress or social medias.

Cheers!

Yuffies Grave

August 28, 2017 LittleFears2 Comments

A sixth hand slipped its fingers around her throat and started pulling her into the dirt. She swore under her breath.

“Gem, how many bodies are down here?” asked Yuffie.

Gem grinned. “Too many.”

It was OK though. Yuffie knew she would come back from the dead either way. There was no coming back from where Gem was going.

Birds Eye

August 27, 2017 LittleFears28 Comments

“I often wonder, what it would be like to be a bird,” pondered Yuffie.

“Why?” asked Fuen. “The freedom? The views? The peace and serenity?”

“Yeah,” replied Yuffie dreamily. “Also, I wonder who I would crap on…”

Enjoy the Little Fears daily tales? Please help with Hydras food bill over on Patreon, and I’ll keep the daily fears coming!

Elephants Trunk

August 26, 2017 LittleFears10 Comments

“It won’t just stick back into place,” said Delia, fumbling with the elephant’s trunk.

“Here,” replied Alice, handing over a tube of super glue.

“I thought it was made of ivory,” said Delia, turning the figurine over in her hand.

“Nothing mum owns is what it looks like,” sighed Alice.

“You know,” grumbled Delia, “this would be a lot easier without all the blood on my hands.”

Hydra vs Squirrels

August 26, 2017 LittleFears14 Comments

“What up Hydra?” asked Yuffie. “Looking blue.”

“Ach, I just failed my driving test,” replied Hydra.

“Oh dear, sorry to hear that,” said Yuffie.

“I got 8 out of 10 on my test,” sulked Hydra. “2 squirrels jumped out of the way…”

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Toms Love

August 25, 2017 LittleFears21 Comments

Pressed against the side of the RV, she felt her arm tear from her shoulder. She tried to scream, but it was more of a gargle. Considering what was left of her throat though, a gargle was quite impressive in itself. Tom’s face came in close to hers. She loved him. Even after he ripped her head off. There was still enough of Tom left to carry her head away from her body as the others moved in and tore it apart. Good ‘ole Tom.