Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Hydra,” sighed Galaxy, “what are you doing?”
“Saving energy, doing my bit,” replied Hydra.
“How is that saving energy?” asked Galaxy.
Hydra forced the second brick beneath one side of the washing machine.
“Washing the clothes at 30 degrees,” said Hydra.
With this story I can confirm, not only is Hydra real but after the last spin cycle, my washing machine is now broken. Doh!
“How did it go?” asked Hydra.
“Not great,” sighed Shavings.
“What’s that?” asked Serpent.
“I entered a competition for original designs,” grumbled Shavings.
“Nice,” said Serpent.
“It would have been,” moaned Shavings. “Unfortunately they called this morning to say I didn’t make it.”
Hohoho! Shavings design was about as original as the punchline!
Dadaboomtish!
Want to help Shavings create an original design? Grab one of my books below and all profits from Amazon sales today will go
towards paying for a new shed for shavings!*
(*This might not be true, as Shavings is a fictional character doodled around a pencil shaving.)
Cheers!
“I got fired again,” sighed White.
“Didn’t you just get that job?” asked Black.
“Yeah,” sighed White. “Working at the ring doughnut factory.”
“What happened?” asked Black.
“Eh,” replied White, “I got fed up of the hole business…”
Doughnut! That’s how you spell it! Dough-nut! Shed off the corporate shills of Dunkin’ Donuts and be free to put more than one U into a word!
Disclaimer: I have never eaten a Dunkin’ Donut but with my massive sweet tooth, I would prolly like them.
(Insert related content and take that anti-pro Dunkin’ Donut (with an ugh) somewhere.)
Hey, if you’d like me to try a Dunkin’ Donut, you can buy my one of my books so I can put the earnings from my books into a doughnut eating fund!
Cheers!
“Late, again” grumbled Spectre.
“Sorry!” exclaimed Sprite. “Cheese factory exploded on my route over.”
“Oh dear,” said Spectre, “is everyone OK?”
“I think so,” said Sprite, “but de-brie everywhere.”
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“Oh, I am still quite passionate about tea,” said Hydra.
“What’s your preference?” asked Yuffie.
“Typhoo, by a long way,” replied Hydra.
“I once heard Moses made good tea,” pondered Fox.
“Really?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Fox. “Hebrews it.”
Typhoo is the greatest British tea ever created. And I shall dual you if you disagree!
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She walked into the back garden. She hadn’t visited for 10 years, but even in its overgrown state, the house, garden and greenhouse all seemed to look the same.
She nudged the greenhouse door open. It fell from its hinges.
The pot at the bottom right hadn’t been moved, she thought. She buried her hand and pulled out the face of a young man. The dry soil appeared to have preserved it to some degree. She slipped it into her handbag. She might come back for another one in another 10 years.
Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
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“What sorts of things are you into Yuffie?” asked Serpent.
“Stalking,” said Yuffie.
“Really?” said Serpent, “I like jogging, climbing, cinemas, dancing and moonlit beach walks.”
“I know,” replied Yuffie.
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“I had a job at a bowling alley once,” said Red.
“Really?” asked Serpent.
“Yeah, not for long though,” said Red.
“Contract?” asked Serpent.
“Tenpin,” replied Red.
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“You ordered how many?” gasped Yuffie.
“About 16,000,” said Hydra.
“16,000 bottles of Tipp-Ex,” sighed Yuffie.
“It’s going to cost a fortune, I know,” squeaked Hydra.
“Why Hydra?” asked Yuffie. “Why order so many?”
Hydra dipped his heads down and looked at his shoes. “I made a massive mistake.”
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“Then I did it again,” sighed Blue.
“Oh dear,” said Human. “Just how many mirrors did you swim into?”
“Twelve in total,” sighed Blue.
“Good grief,” replied Human. “You need to watch out for yourself.”
I know you’re sick of seeing this snippet under the daily tales, Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! Also today, Sunday, is the last day Spiders digital edition is free on Amazon.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review.
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Little Fears 