Tales of humour, whimsy and courgettes
“Late, again” grumbled Spectre.
“Sorry!” exclaimed Sprite. “Cheese factory exploded on my route over.”
“Oh dear,” said Spectre, “is everyone OK?”
“I think so,” said Sprite, “but de-brie everywhere.”
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“Oh, I am still quite passionate about tea,” said Hydra.
“What’s your preference?” asked Yuffie.
“Typhoo, by a long way,” replied Hydra.
“I once heard Moses made good tea,” pondered Fox.
“Really?” asked Yuffie.
“Yeah,” said Fox. “Hebrews it.”
Typhoo is the greatest British tea ever created. And I shall dual you if you disagree!
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She walked into the back garden. She hadn’t visited for 10 years, but even in its overgrown state, the house, garden and greenhouse all seemed to look the same.
She nudged the greenhouse door open. It fell from its hinges.
The pot at the bottom right hadn’t been moved, she thought. She buried her hand and pulled out the face of a young man. The dry soil appeared to have preserved it to some degree. She slipped it into her handbag. She might come back for another one in another 10 years.
Originally published in the Little Fears presents – Book 2: Capricorn.
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“What sorts of things are you into Yuffie?” asked Serpent.
“Stalking,” said Yuffie.
“Really?” said Serpent, “I like jogging, climbing, cinemas, dancing and moonlit beach walks.”
“I know,” replied Yuffie.
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“I had a job at a bowling alley once,” said Red.
“Really?” asked Serpent.
“Yeah, not for long though,” said Red.
“Contract?” asked Serpent.
“Tenpin,” replied Red.
Enjoy the Little Fears? Consider supporting us on Patreon and we’ll keep the frightful fiction coming!
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“You ordered how many?” gasped Yuffie.
“About 16,000,” said Hydra.
“16,000 bottles of Tipp-Ex,” sighed Yuffie.
“It’s going to cost a fortune, I know,” squeaked Hydra.
“Why Hydra?” asked Yuffie. “Why order so many?”
Hydra dipped his heads down and looked at his shoes. “I made a massive mistake.”
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“Then I did it again,” sighed Blue.
“Oh dear,” said Human. “Just how many mirrors did you swim into?”
“Twelve in total,” sighed Blue.
“Good grief,” replied Human. “You need to watch out for yourself.”
I know you’re sick of seeing this snippet under the daily tales, Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! Also today, Sunday, is the last day Spiders digital edition is free on Amazon.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review.
Cheers!
“Aha, is that the Ebay app?” asked Hydra.
“Yeah, I have decided to sell my old vacuum,” replied Flower.
“Ah,” said Hydra. “For spares and repairs?”
“Well,” said Flower. “It’s just gathering dust…”
I know I haven’t mentioned this much, but the Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! It’s also free to buy the Kindle edition for the next two days.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
If you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review.
Cheers!
“I just don’t get these modern acronyms,” sighed Red.
“Such as?” asked Fuen.
“Like this one, IDK, what does that mean?” asked Red.
“I don’t know,” replied Fuen.
“Seems like nobody does,” sighed Red.
Badombomp!
In case you missed the announcement yesterday, the Little Fears Presents: Spiders has been released! It’s also free to buy the Kindle edition for the next four days.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
Again, I am going to ask, if you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review! Rather happy, though in classic Little Fears fashion, something on my website has broken on release week. Doh!
Cheers
Well, thank feck for that! Finally, Spiders has been released! Man, this book was meant to be out back in June. The big things in life have been taken over by other big things, and honestly, I’m at least three months behind where I should be on everything. Now my house is finally decorated, I can get back on track a bit. That post I made a few months back about things I had in the pipeline for Fears, that’s getting caught up.
The first big thing this week is, of course, the release of Little Fears presents: Spiders. The third book in the Little Fears series. It’s entirely self-contained, with 94 humorous tales published on this site over the last three months. The digital edition is also free for the first five days of release.
I don’t do sales down the line. I always feel that’s a kick in the teeth to fans that have paid full crack for something, to see it then half price or free the following week. By giving the digital copy away free for the first five days of release, that’s only going to go to the Little Fears followers and subscribers. They, you, are the people who should get a free copy. Not some random Joe who spots a sale on in six months time who’s never followed anything I have ever done.
If you enjoy the book, please do leave a review on Amazon and consider buying the paperback edition for a friend who may enjoy my humour. Little Fears books, best served with lovely full-colour paper with fresh book smell.
If anything is going to save the Little Fears from awful punch lines, it is not Shadow eating a sandwich. In Spiders, Great British groaners are the order of the day as the assembled Little Fears make their way through 94 tales of hospitals, food, steps, night sight telescopes and revenge. Rabbit eats a password book; Spider goes to the hospital; Fish multi-tasks; Lady observes X; Sprite has a chain reaction. Written and posted with scruffy illustrations daily on LittleFears.co.uk. These brief vignettes (50 to 100 words) chronicle the continuing adventures of the Little Fears. With only a sense of whimsy and a deep love of old British comedy, Spiders will make you groan, cry and laugh until a bit of wee comes out, in a truly original, unoriginal, work of art and fiction.
USA Edition: http://a.co/gOujd5z
UK Edition: http://amzn.eu/33sberu
Again, I am going to ask, if you grab a copy and enjoy it, please don’t forget to leave a review!
Cheers
Little Fears 